Ikea strikes again

The newest addition to my wall.

Ring, ring. That's the sound of New York City slowly waking out of its winter slumber. I can tell because all of a sudden my friends want to hang out -- and I want to hang out with them. The warmer weather puts everyone in good spirits.

Then again, laziness occasionally prevails. On Sunday afternoon I was chilling out, watching some NASCAR and slowly recovering from two late nights. I had ignored my phone most of the morning, not on purpose but because I was asleep. By the time I checked my phone I had three messages -- which never happens. Of the three, the last message was the most interesting. It was S calling with an invitation to the Brooklyn Flea Market.

I returned his call and he chastised me for being too late. I was pretty bummed because I do want to hit the Flea but it will have to be another weekend. He was on his way back and offered to drop by and say hello.

And that's where I got him! (Insert evil laugh here.) After offering him some water, I looked longingly at my poor Ikea Premiär poster propped up in the corner. It was supposed to be on my wall by now. What is that, S asked. I explained the situation to him. He shuddered when I said Ikea. I'm still recovering from last time I helped you with Ikea, he said.

But he's a nice guy so he agreed to help me out. The first part was pretty easy -- we assembled an aluminum frame. Then we had to stretch the canvas by wrapping it around the frame and pressing plastic dowels into place to hold...not as easy. Again, Ikea had only one picture to show how easy the step should be but in practice not so much. There was a piece included to push the plastic pieces in, but it hurt our hands after awhile.

"Get me...an ovenmitt!" S demanded. I did, and what a brilliant idea it was. The process was much smoother after that. With the canvas stretched, S observed that it kind of smelled. And it did. Like freshly printed canvas. It was making us a bit high off the fumes.

After some air we were ready to hang the canvas. We attached the hangers to my wall, but they weren't really in there tightly. No studs. So the first couple of times we tried to hang the canvas, we failed. But on the third try we got it. I backed away from the wall with a smile.

It looks pretty good, S said. I had to agree. The canvas is ridiculously huge and it really takes advantage of the high ceilings. I wonder if it's a little too much NYC inside my apartment but I'm hoping to get away with it.

Plus, I'm not gonna lie, every time I look at the Flatiron Building I think 'Daily Bugle.' My canvas might soon have a little Spider-Man addendum to it.