Wreak Havok

Not staying put but not moving far

2011-12-06T14:23:00.007-05:00

It's been awhile, hasn't it? Not that I really went anywhere. My focus had just turned away from moving for a time there, thankfully. While it's been fun to dither about financial fears and rock star aspirations here let's turn back to the original and primary focus of this blog for a bit shall we? Moving, that is.

I've been firmly planted in the same Financial District apartment since 2008. A tiresome apartment search set me on staying put for as long as possible. As someone who'd moved at least once a year every year between 2000 and 2008, I was happy to put down some roots. I last moved during the financial crisis's beginning throes and was able to take advantage of all sorts of incentives like no broker fee and a free month's rent. When my original 18-month lease was set to expire I was even luckier, scoring multiple free months on a 2-year lease re-sign.

The market is vastly different now. I get emails from time to time from people reading my old apartment hunting posts from 2007 and 2008 and wondering why they couldn't find similar deals and prices now. I haven't been paying close attention to real estate but I hear that very few New Yorkers are moving right now. Due to the economy most people are staying put in their apartments even if they hate their current place. Additionally many owners are renting out their high-mortgage primary residences and renting a less expensive place while they ride out the poor economy. These two factors combined to leave NYC (Manhattan especially) with a lower vacancy rate then we've seen in years.

Who would choose to move during this crazy time? Me of course. The itch started several months ago and became itchier recently. Little quirks of my apartment that once seemed charming started to annoy. New neighbors shattered a once-peaceful respite. But the biggest driver for me was probably the lack of natural light. Neither of my NYC apartments have been sun-filled nor was that ever a requirement, though it would be a nice perk. In the summer my current place gets decent light but come winter it's kind of gloomy, and with the down economy and stress at work the last thing I need is grey days to wallow in. Grey days with a shitty neighbor's soundtrack and a commiserating dog howling on the other side.

Speaking of dogs, if you're not allergic to them I highly recommend owning one. The dog parks I frequent are like little social goldmines. I get all my neighborhood intel there: the latest Occupy Wall St updates, notes on the movies and TV shows filming down here and the occasional date. When my dog run friends were telling me about rents shooting up in my building I knew the time was here to make a move. Problem is I've become addicted to my amenities. I've got a huge mezzanine, gym and roof deck I hardly use. There's also laundry in the building (I use that of course) and a conceirge service that has dry cleaning, maid service and the like. I get my groceries delivered and my dog walked when I have to work late. I love my doormen. I could not imagine giving it up. The decision was clear: I wanted to move but I also wanted to stay in my building.

Sometimes there are perks to living in a building with a management company. Like when they have a list all their upcoming rental availabilities available to peruse. For the last couple of months I'd been watching the site for something appealing. I wasn't sure what I was looking for until I saw a 1 BR in my building on a high floor. The listing included the floor plan and the building placement. I saw a western exposure with three windows in the apartment and I was sold. Nevermind that the apartment has 1/2 the closet space of my current apartment or that the rent was above my budget. I had to see it.

A quick stop by the leasing office in my building and then I was headed up to a the high floor to check out the apartment. The first thing I noticed was that unlike my apartment, this one was blindingly bright. Though the Financial District is teeming with tall buildings, mine has enough free air space around it that the sun shone in and the view was appealingly clear. I could see through a sea of buildings to Jersey City, not to mention many famous downtown skyscrapers here in Manhattan. The layout was a bit different than my current place, though the square footage was comparable. I would lose my eat-in kitchen area for a breakfast bar which wasn't a big deal. I was worried about losing the closet space -- a huge issue for a clotheshorse like me. The constant light streaming in helped me get past that.

The lack of storage couldn't dampen my enthusiasm, but the rent could. It was significantly more expensive than my current place -- almost $500/mo more than what I currently pay. I hoped that perhaps Occupy Wall St would turn the tides and stem the rent increases. When I tried negotiating the management company wouldn't budge an inch. Free months weren't an option and neither was a lower rent. My building, they explained, was over 90% full and the average time between renters was under 30 days. Vastly different stats then when I first arrived in the building in 2008.

Graphic from the New York Times, read full article

Dejected, I passed on the apartment. I have learned that something better will always come along. Or so I thought. A couple of weeks later you see I got the letter I was dreading from the management company: my lease was almost up and they needed to know if I was staying or moving. And oh yeah my rent was going up by $400/mo if I wanted to stay. Suddenly better wasn't as important as just settling on my plans.

The economy is rough right now and this was going to hurt no matter what. If I wanted to stay I'd need to dip into my savings to cover the difference between my current rent and the new rate -- my salary's not keeping up with these cost of living increases. And if I moved I'd have to dip into savings to cover the costs of moving. Suddenly the high-floor apartment was back on the table. I'd be paying just a bit more than the new rate of my current place and I'd get the benefit of natural light. The move would be less expensive by staying in the same building. Staying in my current place was the most cost-efficient option of the three. But I'd be unhappy that the same place suddenly cost over $400 more while silently cursing my neighbors every night.

If I was going to spend money it made sense to improve my life a bit, so I contacted the leasing office one more time and made a pitch for the high floor apartment while asking for some rent concessions. We finally settled on a number I could live with. A few days later I went to the bank to get the necessary certified checks, signing the necessary paperwork and calling FlatRate moving. (Two moves and one furniture pick-up with them and they've been great every time. Let's hope this next move goes equally well.)

On the plus side, I didn't have to deal with a single broker and my apartment search took about 3 weeks in total. Much less than last time! On the minus side my finances continue to be tight. So it goes. My life is going back in boxes and I am happy. I'm moving up in the world, literally if not necessarily financially.

3rd Floor Etiquette

2010-10-10T23:05:00.002-04:00

When you live in a high rise, it's easy to get lazy. My gym is on the floor below me. (I hardly visit it.) My laundry room is on the floor above me. (I visit it even less.) There's a roof deck I show guests. ("Oh yeah, I'm up here...never.") And a mezzanine that I use, though infrequently.

But my biggest faux pas is without a doubt the elevator. My building has six elevators serving 35 floors. One is the service elevator and I avoid it. One of the elevators has been out since January 2009. I am beginning to doubt it's ever coming back. Of the remaining four, two serve floors 1-21 and two serve the rest. I understand the frustration of waiting -- and waiting, and waiting -- for the elevator. But the dirty looks I get? Not as much.

Hello my (nick)name is roxy. I live on the third floor. And yes, I take the elevator.

It's there for a reason -- to help me get my lazy ass from the lobby to the 3rd floor. Sometimes the use is justified. I've got groceries. I'm hauling one of my many packages up. I'm in dangerously high heels and it's a miracle I survived the subway station stairs so I'm not risking death or ankle destruction in my own damn building.

Mostly though I'm just not thinking. Habit dictates that I enter the building and head for the elevator. At my work, the stairwell doors are locked so I couldn't take the stairs if I wanted to. And I think that's carried over to my home building, where my fried brain says home is where the elevator takes me. Perhaps I'll just blame the internet.

I had some friends over last weekend and they were lamenting their own elevator situation -- two of them to serve 40 floors. Yikes. Their immediate scapegoats for the long waits? Residents of floors 2-4. I found myself nodding and contributing. Damn those low-floor dwellers! Who do they think they are taking up valuable elevator space, what with their 2 floor trips and smug grins and fuck yous as they exit.

Oh wait.

Even in my own building I find my scorn directed at those damn brokers, who ride the elevator one floor from the lobby to the mezzanine to visit our leasing office. I will shoot daggers at them from my eyes. And then two floors later I will happily disembark at 3, happy to be home with my legs no worse for wear. What the remaining riders think of me was never a concern.

Recently though I've been visiting friends in high places. Specifically floors 23, 35 and 44. And I now know the annoyance that is stopping at floors 2, 3, 4, and really anything below 10. It sucks. The building commute inches up with each single-digit floor hit. And it's not really fair. So please accept my apologies, cloud-dwellers. I will try to take the stairs more often.

Except of course in heels.

Introducing the newest member of my family

2010-09-11T10:27:00.001-04:00

Oh to have a dog of my own. It's been on my to-do list for a few years as an adult, and "puppy" was always high on my Hanukkah wishlist as a kid. For the last few years I've been an occasional foster momma to Shiba Inus through a local rescue but my crazy work and life schedule wasn't really conducive to dogs. (Or sleep for that matter.)

When I first moved to NYC my apartment was barely big enough for me, let alone a pet. Since moving downtown the space has been willing; it was just a matter of timing. A couple of months ago I realized I wanted to make room in my life for a pet. I watched a friend's dog for a couple of weeks while she was on vacation and got very used to coming home to happy barks and tail wags. It got me outside and exploring more and it was easier to talk to people with a dog as an icebreaker. Especially a really cute dog!

So I started looking into adoption slowly. Then a couple of weeks ago my rescue sent out an APB about a Shiba pup that needed a new home. I was in! She came home with me on Thursday and has been settling in ever since. Shibas are a challenging but rewarding breed to own and I'm loving my new life as a dog owner. My dog is about 8 months old and 18 lbs -- which makes her easily portable.

I do miss being close to parks like I was on the Upper East Side -- both Carl Schurz and Central Park were just a few blocks from my apartment. On the other hand it means more exercise for both me and my dog to get to the park and that's never a bad thing.

I have not decided on a name yet but am leaning towards Cinnamon. She's found her favorite spot (the couch, of course) and came with plenty of toys to choose from. Not that I won't be getting her more soon enough. We're off to the Union Square dog park later today to make some new friends. Life is good, whether you're a dog or a dog owner.

Sometimes the longest part of the trip is the airport to your apt

2010-07-30T09:04:00.005-04:00

My sister recently came into town from Colorado for a weekend visit. The plan was for her to go up to my parents' in Connecticut first, and then come stay with me later over the weekend. She comes into town often so it's all pretty routine by now. Flies from Colorado to NYC. Takes the bus to Grand Central. Either takes Metro North up to the parents or takes the subway down to me.

So you can imagine my surprise when I got this call after she landed:
Sis - So I landed. I'm at Newark.
Me (thinking I misheard) - Oh, you're in New York. Cool. How was your flight?
Sis - No, I'm at NEWARK.
Me - What??

Yep, as if gridlock on the ground in the NYC metropolitan area weren't enough, turns out there can be gridlock in the air too. My sister's flight got to NYC airspace 30 minutes early, circled for about an hour and finally was diverted to Newark so they could refuel. And then the plane was going to fly from Newark to LaGuardia. As in about a 5-minute flight, if that. Holy moly.

Funniest to my sister was that the holding pattern put her right over the Financial District, aka my neighborhood. So she was circling over my apartment for about an hour. And circling. And circling. I thought they weren't allowed to do that after 9/11, but I guess those restrictions got lifted.

After all of that, the idea of another takeoff-turned-almost-immediate-landing wasn't exactly appealing. Passengers were allowed to deplane at Newark so she left. (Pity those who'd checked baggage -- the plane's baggage was not being unloaded until arrival at LGA.)

The other issue is of course that getting from Newark into Manhattan is a real pain in the ass. There's New Jersey Transit, which is a joke. There's a cab, which is robbery. And then there's a car, assuming you have one. Which is environmentally inefficient but sanity-wise the best option. Zipcar to the rescue! Being the awesome sister that I am, I grabbed a Mini Cooper to go get my sister.

And the longest part of the trip? Waiting on Varick to get into the Holland Tunnel after finding the Canal St approach closed. Gridlock -- it gets you every time.

In which road trips refresh

2010-06-18T19:54:00.001-04:00

The past 4 weeks yielded more travel time for me than the previous 52 and I am not complaining. Despite being air-aversive I love to travel. While 2009 was mostly the year of not being able to 2010 has gone far better. Sometimes life in NYC is just as much about getting away from it as it is about living here.

First up was my Memorial Day weekend road trip. I was excited about the chance to escape for a bit. I've been working on big projects both at work and for a college class I'm taking, and a weekend away was the thing I needed to recharge a bit. I was ready to unplug for awhile.

Speaking of which, the first rule of our road trip was no technology besides the car. So no cell phones, no cameras and definitely no laptops. I mostly made it. I did cheat by tweeting a few times but mostly so my fam would not worry if I was still alive or eaten by a bear or running off to join a cult. And a friend of ours followed the first 500 miles to make a short film from it. (After a trio powwow we decided this did not count.) The result is that we have some great stories but little photo evidence. Somehow I think this is just the way it should be.

We started out on Friday afternoon and I flew home on Monday morning. (The boys just got home earlier this week after continuing west.) Over the long weekend we touched 7 states: New York, New Jersey, Pennsylvania, Delaware, Maryland, Virginia, North Carolina. Of those 7 it was my first time in 3.

Miles 1-250: in which I learned that I am no rebel.
We'd hoped to leave on Friday morning but work took priority. Instead we left around 5 or 6 PM. While we wanted to avoid I-95 as much as possible it was the best route for the initial part of the trip. And on Friday of Memorial Day Weekend it was of course packed. As we sat in gridlock we settled on camping somewhere south of Philadelphia. We crossed back over into New Jersey with plans of camping at the Timberlane Campground near Clarksboro. Unfortunately the place was crowded amd we couldn't find a spot to camp in. An attempt to share a lot with a friendly RV crew was foiled so we left. We returned to PA and ended up finding a field somewhere near Chester to camp in, not too far from the Delaware River. The prospect freaked me out more than I expected. I had flashes of bad horror movies playing out on us followed by a panic-attack inducing vision of getting eaten by a bear. We ate decidedly un-camp food (fast food from a local drivethrough), stared at the stars for awhile and then pitched our tent. The boys kindly offered to let me sleep in the middle so I would feel safer. I did feel safer, just not safe enough to sleep. Every car driving by was a cop car or an ax-wielding murderer in my mind. I finally passed out from exhaustion. So much for being a rebellious camper.

We got an early start the next day and made plans to eat lunch in Annapolis, Maryland. It was time for local roads at this point, along which we consulted several guide books for interesting places to stop along the way. (And by guidebooks, I mean my iPhone. Cheaters.) We were all slowly loosening up too, laughing more and enjoying my awesome 70s rock playlist, crowd-sourced through my Facebook friends. Ah, mixtapes in the digital age.

Miles 250-350: in which song lyrics are discovered and misheard.
After lunch in Maryland we headed south on Rte 2. This part of the trip mostly involved singly along loudly to a bunch of great songs. I'd been dismissive of 70s rock for a long time as dude music. While I'm not entirely unconvinced of this at least I have a newfound respect for the journeyman quality of it.

Some random musings during jukebox sing-alongs:
AC/DC "Back in Black": Would be my enterance song if I was a closing pitcher.
America "Lonely People": Sounds funny when sung amongst a group.
Bachman Turner Overdrive "Taking Care of Business": Hey! This song is about when I used to commute into the city...wait, are you taunting me??
Blue Oyster Cult "Burnin For You": J sang this song to a car next to us in traffic, complete with wonky hand gestures to the lady driver. Got laughs out of both cars.
Credence Clearwater Revival "Born on the Bayou": Makes us wish we were born on the bayou too, chasing down hoodoo there.
Doobie Bros "Listen to the Music": D's vote for easiest song to harmonize with.
Foghat "Slow Ride": Made us wish the Chevelle had hydraulics.
Jackson Browne "Take it Easy": At least he's honest...
Iggy Pop "The Passenger": Should not be sung from the backseat.
Steve Miller "Jet Airliner": Confession -- I always thought the lyrics were "We going to Carolina." Oops.
Three Dog Night "Shambala": Best sing-along song on the trip. A-woo-woo-woooooooooo!
The Who "Baba O'Riley": Inspirational tune for the beginning of each day.

Mile 295 or so: in which I almost killed the guys.
At rest stop in northern Virigina, the boys moved the car while I was using the facilities. They parked behind a big truck so I couldn't see them. They played it just long enough so I started to freak out over whether they'd really left me. Not cool! (But very funny, I admit.)

Miles 300-400: in which we made friends for dinner.
On night two (Saturday) we camped at a KOA campground just outside Virginia Beach. It had been a long day and by the time we made it to the campground we'd missed most of the local restaurants. We were debating whether to chance fast food again (bleh) or to look for a 24-hour grocery. A neighboring RV family was cooking dinner and the Dad made D an offer he couldn't refuse: a 30-minute ride in the Chevelle in exchange for some good-looking burgers and a beer. Done! D took the Dad for a cruise and an hour later we were wolfing down some fine-tasting beef patties.

The next day we made a pitstop at a friend of J's to shower and then continued southward. J and I spent most of the morning nagging D to let one of us drive. When D repeatedly refused to give up the wheel we started doing play-by-play of his driving, critiquing every curve and analyzing imaginary instant replays of his light change takeoffs complete with Madden-esque gems like, "When you gun the accelerator, you're gonna go faster more quickly!" Yes, we're nerds.

Miles 400-500: in which we made airplane noises and climbed lighthouses at the seashore.
We had finally crossed over to the outer banks of the Carolinas, our main destination for the weekend. We stopped in Kitty Hawk to visit the Wright Brothers National Monument and see the field where they tested their aircrafts. It was so cool! There are markers at the beginning and end of the first flight and despite park rangers' pleas not to we ran the length of the flight with our arms out making airplane noises. Like idiots. It was wonderful.

A little later we crossed the Bonner Bridge and went down to the Cape Hatteras National Seashore. Unfortunately the Bodie Island Lighthouse is in the middle of being renovated so it was partially obstructed, but the Cape Hatteras Lighthouse was open and you bet we climbed all 248 steps. Totally worth it too -- the view was spectacular. We hung out on the beach for a few hours before heading back to the mainland.

Miles 500-600: in which I realized NASCAR was so close!
Sometime Sunday afternoon it dawned on me that the NASCAR race that weekend was in Charlotte, NC -- just a few hours away! I started pleading with D and J to take me to Lowe's Motor Speedway for the race. They were of course having none of it but we comprimised and agreed to head to Charlotte. I had to fly home on Monday and wanted to pick a city so I could buy a ticket. Charlotte met the criteria (had an airport with JetBlue) and J knew of a great barbeque place.

I whimpered as we drove past the speedway and again when we passed the shiny new NASCAR Hall of Fame, but the boys were right that the last thing we needed to be doing after spending hours in a car was spending hours watching cars turn left. So my long-awaited return attendance at a race will have to wait a bit longer. (Lace race attended? New Hampshire, 2006.)

Mile 950: in which I said goodbye and the trio became a duo.

Sadly, while the boys got to continue on with their trip I had to say goodbye Monday morning in Charlotte. We had an awesome time and I'm so glad I got invited to join the trip. I hope we get to do it again soon.

Another thing no one tells you about living in Manhattan

2010-06-08T21:42:00.004-04:00

There are tons of things you should know about living in NYC that no one ever bothers to tell you and lucky me, I get to discover all the gross ones! I should warn this post isn't for faint stomachs.

So here the tip is, you can thank me later: if you live in Manhattan, you will see a water bug at some point. Maybe outside. Maybe in the hallway. Maybe in the laundry room. Maybe (gulp) in your apartment. Water bugs are aka co...cockro...gawd, I can't even say it. Just read. They are everywhere! There's a reason why they say after the Apocalypse there will be those things and Cher. My building is quite clean but I live on the southern tip of Manhattan, aka part that used to be underwater. When you expand the island via dirt and trash and then build on top of it these things will happen. Could be worse I suppose...it could be rats. *shiver*

Last year I only saw one in my apartment. I learned the hard way that they crawl up the side of my building and come in through the window. I saw the damn thing come in and then it scampered behind my media center while I screamed in horror. I didn't see it for a few days so I hoped it was dead or crawling across someone's else's floor. But these things live to be over 100 so I was just fooling myself. One night I was having a private iPod concert while working. I was singing Sinatra's "I've Got You Under My Skin" when I saw the water bug crawl by my bedroom door. Oh the cruel coincidence of that moment. I managed to trap it and kill it (thank you, Raid!) but the creepy-crawly effects lasted for days afterwards.

Since then I don't really open my apartment windows during the warmer months. They are old windows in my nice old high rise so they have no screens. It's OK -- if I want a breeze I just go up to the roof deck. Unfortunately the maintenance staff doesn't know my neurotic rules so while working on my apartment the other day (after my closet rack collapsed under the weight of all of my clothes, hee) they opened the windows. I came home and gave my best horror film "Noooooooooo!" as I slo-mo ran to the windows. It was too late though! It was too late.

For the other morning, what did I see? You guessed it. Another damn water bug scampering by my bedroom door. Once again I managed to trap and kill it. The thing was huge! Practically the size of my Apple remote. Bleh! Bleh! Creepy crawlies. Not a fan.

So how do you keep your apartment water bug-proof? Well, you can't. But there are some things you can do to minimize the risk. This article has a good rundown. They're attracted to cold, dark and damp spots. So keep your floors clean, your sink empty and your garbage tended to. Don't store cardboard in your apartment either -- this is one of the most common mistakes. Critters are attracted to it. You can get new moving boxes when you move. It's so not worth it. Hopefully your neighbors are clean too.

A few of my friends had infestations and let me tell you it's not pretty. So be warned. You will see one; it will be gross and you will have to deal with it. My apologies in advance.

The road is calling and finally I can answer

2010-05-12T17:55:00.000-04:00

I've had roadtrips on the mind recently. I re-read The Motorcycle Diaries a few months ago and followed it up with Travels with Charley. Guess I must have been influencing my friends subconsciously. Earlier this month during a Stone Street excursion my friend D announced that he had finished restoring his car and wanted to go on a Memorial Day Weekend road trip to celebrate. Even better? He wants me to come.

I was excited for too many reasons to enumerate. Here's a few though. First, I have not owned a car since I moved to NYC and man do I miss driving. I know this sounds like the oil barron's lament but I love driving on twisty, windy roads alone with my thoughts. Or alternately with my music blaring and me singing along. And nothing beats cross-country drives.

In college the thought of three months without my car over summer break was devastating to me. So every summer my little red 1992 Saturn SC coupe (with pop-up headlights!) and I drove 1940 miles from Fort Collins, Colo. to Bethel, Conn. Lots of people complain about I-80 being corn, corn, and more corn but dammit if I didn't love every mile of it. I will never forget cresting a hill in Iowa to a gorgeous rainbow in August of 2002 heading back out West. (I will also never forget stupidly outrunning a tornado in Kansas on I-70 in May of 2001 with my sister. That was the day my sister and I learned what it was like to drive 145 mph. Don't try that at home, kids!) My senior year I had bought a SUV and was moving back home so I actually did the trip thrice in two weeks. I miss those trips now. It wouldn't be as much careless fun now paying $3.05/gallon for gas I guess, or whatever gas is these days.

Another reason I love road trips? Bonding. I tend to be in my head a lot of the time but I love how car trips can be an excuse for stifling technology in favor of, oh I don't know, actually talking to each other. I suppose today's minivans with their in-headrest screens could kill the need for conversation. Luckily D owns a 1968 Chevelle SS. So that's not going to be an issue.

One more thing to love -- seeing the country. Living in NYC is like...well it's like being an asylum quite honestly. We're barely holding our sanity together. (Some of us just gave up.) And the standards of life here are insane and unrealistic. So it will be nice to escape and be reminded of how the other 99% of people live. My parents still chuckle that I was such a farm kid growing up but I ended up somehow living in the biggest city in the US. Don't get me wrong. I love living in NYC and wouldn't trade the last 5 years of my life for anything. I just need to get out a little more.

D also invited our friend J. And now the three of us are making plans. We've decided to avoid highways whenever possible. I have never done a true back-road trip so I'm thrilled to be giving it a shot. D is in charge of planning the route. Problem is we can't decide whether we want to go South (my personal preference), West, or North. Any of them would be fun. I just like the idea of South because I've never really driven South.

J is in charge of finding places to stay. I have a feeling we're going to be camping it which is fine by me. My sole concern is that I hope they take bathroom breaks into consideration since I am a chick. And I will not be using a bottle on the side of the road, thanks.

And me? I'm in charge of the music of course. The car used to just have an AM radio but D has upgraded it to a nice digital player. So I'm assembling a playlist. I proposed a 70s classic rock theme and the boys heartily agreed. I've been having a blast the past couple of weeks researching the best songs to include. I can't say this is a genre I knew very well. Still, I knew many popular tunes from the stations my parents listened to growing up and my friends have been great resources for more. Right now Three Dog Night's "Shambala" gets played at least once daily on my iPhone.

The setup is perfect. Three friends driving in a restored classic car across the countryside, music blaring and camping out under the stars. Hmm. This also sounds like the beginning of a bad horror movie. I'm sure we'll end up with at least one great story out of the trip. Here's a nice list of road trip books. I am downloading a couple to my Kindle to read at night. Guess I can't totally leave technology behind.

I am counting down the days until May 28.

The weight of the wish

2010-05-05T18:09:00.006-04:00

I have had the great fortune recently to welcome two mentors into my life. Both of them are invested in making me a better businesswoman not only for my own sake but also for their own success. It's been amazing and I already feel like a winner for it. In my professional life I've been lucky -- I've only had one nasty boss and I have no regrets about being rebellious enough to tell her just how much she sucked. Since then though I've changed jobs (twice), had great bosses each time and now I've settled into a leadership role of my own. A wise man once told me that successful leaders reiterate common sense repackaged as new lessons. And that's more or less what my mentors are doing. It's not so much that I'm learning new skills as I am refining and smoothing the ones I have. I'm learning a ton of new things -- but in a way that I'm building on top of what I have.

Still it's surprising how many ! moments I've been having. I always thought of myself as analytical and scientific in nature at work. Recently I've come to realize that I am also oddly emotional outside of work. One of my mentors has been emphasizing the importance of goals over wishes to me. It boils down this: rarely does one get their wishes but often do they achieve their goals. One part of my brain says: duh! The other part says: huh.

A couple of weeks later I am still profoundly affected by this. Truth is I wish for things all the time...the winning lottery ticket, to be a rockstar, to run into my favorite actor at a bar, to get free rent, to make more money, for untethered investment money for my side project, etc. Meanwhile my goals tend to be more boring but also more realistic. But in the past I wished for things and felt like they came true. Now I'm having a mental wrestling match because I'm better at polishing off goals but more passionate about my wishes. Which is right?

In investigating the answer I've accidentally re-exposed some long buried fears. If you write something down as a goal suddenly there are two options. Success and failure. Achieved and unachievable. Accomplishment and regret. A wish on the other hand suggests a touch of destiny. An outside fate partially controlling the outcome so that you can reassure yourself that a watchful eye is rewarding you or so you don't have just yourself to blame if an idea doesn't pan out. A goal has an awful lot of personal responsibility attached to it. A wish is something you can alternately embrace as a cause and laugh off as a pipe dream.

At work I have no problem with making goals. It's at home where wishes rule my life. Up until now I've been comfortable with that. But I wonder if some of the disappointment I've felt recently is because I'm too scared to write my wishes down to make them into goals. Am I scared that they won't come true? Am I scared that I won't "get" my wishes? Or am I just scared of forcing myself to apply reason to something that is otherwise emotion driven?

I sit here now with a pad in front of me. I am trying to make myself write some of these wishes down to make them into goals. It's a lot harder than I thought it would be.

Angst, angst and more angst

2010-03-21T21:46:00.001-04:00

I've found a new obsession -- "Supernatural." Over the past couple of months I have grown from just liking the show to being downright engrossed in it. I can't stop talking about. It's a great distraction from the stresses of life, love and the economy. The show is so well-written. Often times I'll start episodes thinking ok, this is going to be cheesy only to be surprised by some awesome, action-packed demon hunting turned well-played message. The dialogue is snappy too, very meta and cliche-aversive while every episode packs at least one good laugh. Of course since the show is on the CW it's also filled with teenage angst channeled through the body of 30-somethings playing 20-somethings. (Including, disturbingly, a younger brother who's supposed to be a year younger than me.) I find myself identifying all too well with said angst, whether channeled through cool-but-dead-inside Dean or alive-but-doomed Sam. Well, maybe more with Sam, the right-brained-in-touch-with-his-emoness thinker in the duo.

Either way, angst! The weight of the world on your shoulders. To be experienced as long, sullen, sideways glances during long car rides. Or copious amounts of bitchface exposition that seem to be angrily directed at the person in front of you but are actually more a reaction to the internal thought process. Being in one's head can be dangerous sometimes. I acted too mature during my teen years and now I seem to be reverting back to the emotional development I missed along the way.

My life is fine, pretty great in fact; this blog is the channel through which I can vent right now. Still -- and I'm sure every 20-something goes through this -- I'm dealing some hard to suppress feelings of personal disappointment. Specifically not attaining those probably-unrealistic-but-no-less-important dreams I dreamed out loud as a teen. The ones I am now too scared to speak for fear someone might hear them and laugh. And every time I think I've finally let them go they come back to haunt me. Maybe Dean and Sam could help me perform an exorcism??

Just this past weekend that haunting was in the form of Jenks, my bandmate from high school who was in town to visit some old mutual friends. I'm still in my hermit phase so I had no idea he was even here until the phone call came on Friday night. I haven't spoken to him in two years. Yet like all my friends no matter how long we are apart we can pick up right back where we left. Only thing was I don't think either of us really knew where that was (something about him burning our demos after some choice words from me as I recall) so instead we reached back a bit further.

Seemed like good old days at first as we met up at a dive bar in the village for one beer (me) and several (him). He greeted me warmly and called me fat (it's true right now, sadly) so I punched him in the gut and called him old and grimy (also true). We joked about the old days for awhile until I commented that this was like living Bruce Springsteen's ironically named "Glory Days" about 20 years too soon. Jenks agreed and we transitioned into a conversation about the past two years. Me: trying out but never making a great band, damaged pipes that are more leaky these days than brassy, working towards financial stability, struggling with letting go of the desire to be a musician. Him: forming a new band, touring for a year, breaking up, getting a real job, silently suffering. Yet neither of us is in bad shape. We both have steady jobs, nice places, good friends, etc. It's weird that our lives are just fine and yet so not what we wanted.

I guess it's a bit different for him since he's a few years older. He says it's too late now for him to start again. Such a liar but no amount of persuasion by me could sway him. Instead he spent most of the hours after midnight trying to convince me it's not too late to start a band, that I have one last chance before 30 (which by the way is still a couple of years away). It's not that I doubt him; I just doubt myself. Especially the time commitment. If I had the means to dedicate myself full-time to music I'm sure he's right. But if I had the means I might also be lazy and less driven about it. It's always been weird how I can make anything I want happen when I put my mind to it; yet I can't put my mind to the one thing I really want. There's always an excuse: I have to be focused on work (true); I have to be focused on my finances (true); I have no time (lie).

At work right now I have an amazing opportunity to grow in ways I'd always hoped for professionally. Musically I have zero opportunities and I'm further away then ever. In high school I knew A&R reps. In college I knew label reps. Now I know no one. And I would have to start over -- I was never very good at bass and I should probably learn guitar, plus I'd want singing lessons to gain my range and confidence back. I want to be strong and confident and just do it. But I am scared. I don't really even know about what.

So I churn with angst instead. Disappointment that I'd give up before I really begin. Jenks meant to give me a pep talk. I think he might have added a nail to the coffin instead. We parted well; I might go to Boston to visit him next month. But of course what did I do after we said goodbye? I went home and wrote lyrics to 3 damn good songs. Now I am searching for the confidence to finish them. Maybe I will postpone that exorcism request.

For the first time in my NYC life, I'm NOT moving

2010-01-17T23:20:00.003-05:00

Oh my god, I'm putting down roots. I was beginning to doubt the possibility of ever living in the same apartment for more than a year but it's happening. And it's such a relief. Despite all of the turmoil of 2009 I am going to be able to stay in my apartment. I'm so relieved not to have to apartment hunt again or pack everything up again or start over in a new neighborhood again. Financial District, you are my home! Finally I feel like my apartment is mine.

I'm still going to be skating on thin ice for awhile but I think I see the light at the end of the tunnel. It started two weeks ago when I went to dinner with two of my close galpals. We were celebrating our successes (one friend is doing so incredibly well at work, the other is in school learning about stuff that sounds so cool) and venting about strife. Mine was of course feeling financially squeezed and wondering what my next step was for my apartment. My lease is up in March. I was afraid management would raise the rent. I was dreading it.

My friends must be good luck because the very next day I got a letter from the building. They offered me (and I'm sure, every other tenant whose lease is almost up) the opportunity to stay in my current apartment for another year or two at the same rent, plus incentives of x months free depending on the resigned lease length. It was an unexpected joy. I'd heard of friends getting similar deals in their buildings but didn't expect it for myself. It was like a mini-miracle.

I'd been working on getting myself back into the moving mindset to save money so for a week I tried to fool myself into thinking I would be happy moving. But by the weekend it was clear I'd be miserable. So I talked it over with some close friends and my family and together they helped me decide that staying is the best decision for me. I am still going to continue looking for freelance work to make ends meet and I think will apply at a few retail places again.

I can't express how great it feels knowing that I get to stay put for at least another year (and probably two). I look forward to being on solid ground not only for my own benefit but so that I can start helping others again, one of my humble pleasures. For now I can only volunteer but I have a feeling someday soon I can start contributing in ways above time. Maybe someday I'll even own a place! With a husband! Dream big roxy, dream big.

Weird is the new normal...a look back at the decade from the 10,000 foot view

2009-12-21T20:17:00.003-05:00

10 years ago I had no idea which square state was Colorado.
9 years ago I had never attended a free concert.
8 years ago I had never climbed a mountain.
7 years ago I had some of the best friends a girl could ask for.
6 years ago I was wondering whether I should live on the East Coast, the West Coast or in Ireland.
5 years ago I was just wondering how I'd pay the bills.
4 years ago I was living on my own for the first time.
3 years ago I had the best roommates ever and dreamt up a sitcom based on our lives.
2 years ago I was making big plans and fulfilling a lifelong dream.
1 year ago I was wondering where love was.
This year I am noticing that everything is starting over again.

I was home sick on Friday and I ended up watching "Big" on HBO. I haven't seen the full cut of the movie in years. A few things struck me as I was watching the movie. First, this movie is so earnest it was hard to watch parts of it. Second, I recognized 90% of the location shots because unlike movies today where Vancouver fills in for NYC (no offense, Vancouver) "Big" was actually shot in Soho. And third, as a kid you know everything. When you have an idea as a kid you are stopped by nothing. You make it happen.

Looking back on the last 10 years it's easy to be critical about all the things I hoped to accomplish but haven't. But lately I've been feeling some of that good old optimism so instead I choose to look back on the goals I have reached as well as some happy accidents. Going to Colorado State was for sure a happy accident. As a junior in high school I wasn't excited about college at all, though I was excited about getting the heck out of Connecticut. And mostly that worked out well. My first jobs out of college were rough but working at the paper in Danbury was a happy accident. Moving to NYC was a lifelong dream achieved. And it's a lot tougher than it seemed. The girl who hates technology ends up working in the field. My last two jobs have been happy accidents, ditto the awesome friends I've made along the way. I went on a tropical vacation; I went to Europe just before my kiddie passport expired; I stalked bands and made friends with some; I chased boys and let some chase me; I stayed out all night and I slept all day. Enjoying the little victories is sometimes just as sweet.

Of course the story has also been filled with twists, turns and shocks. A lot of the time I find myself thinking that a situation turned out oddly. But now I see that for me weird is the new normal and I am really bad at predicting how a situation will turn out. It's not so much that I leave things to chance now. I am slowly getting better at accepting destiny as much as I determine my own fate. Whatever will be will be and all that good stuff.

Much as there are some moments I'd love to erase, much as there are some that I'd like to redo, I don't want to let go of this moment of youth. The next 10 years may be the best of my life. Maybe in 10 years I'll realize these last 10 were it. I am ready to say goodbye to this decade yet I don't want to let go. I am still working on making peace with time.

Grabbing my health by the horns

2009-09-19T07:52:00.000-04:00

Last week's September 11 anniversary was bearable and for that I am thankful. I thought about it a lot in the morning, especially now that I live down in FiDi. The worst was hearing the parade of sirens go by -- that really got me. I stopped by the reflecting pool on the way to work to drop off a flower in D's honor. I still think of him every time I see a fire engine go by.

Otherwise the same three topics (music, money, health) are still swirling in my head. For this month health seems to have come to the forefront. Whatever this cough I have is I still have it and it sucks. It's now a dry, hacking loveliness that sometimes makes me gasp for air. It feels like I have something stuck in there. Back to the doc once blood tests come back, hopefully he can help me figure out what the hell this thing is.

In the meantime I started looking for a nutritionist. It's obvious I'm going to need some help getting myself in order so professional help can't hurt. Especially when covered by my work's actually kind of awesome health care. I found a recommended nutritionist right by my work. She even had after hours appointments which is a huge plus. Located in a fancy Soho dermatologist's office, the place was a bit intimidating but the doc herself was great.

I met with her for almost 2 hours. I was honest with her -- no sense in lying when my physical appearance belies -- about my diet and activity level. We went through my food and exercise routine. We talked about what kinds of foods I like and I don't like. We discussed attainable goals. She gave me some materials to read and helped me assemble about 20 different meals to try over the next 3 weeks. It actually got me kind of excited!

It's not like she didn't say things I already know. You have to burn more calories than you eat to lose weight. You have to exercise. Etc. Truth is I just need someone kicking my ass a little bit about it. I went to Whole Foods and bought $100 in groceries. I almost went into shock. I think I usually spend $25/week on groceries. Then I realized that all the crap I've been ordering in has been pushing me over $100 easily and then I didn't feel so bad. The hardest part is going to be giving up soda. I'm really not sure I can do it. But at least I've cut back to 1 can per day for now.

I already feel a bit better. I'm going back in 3 weeks for a follow-up visit. Hopefully there will be good news.

I have seen Fashion Week, and it is great

2009-09-14T16:38:00.004-04:00

It's Fashion Week here in NYC and I must admit I'm really getting into it this year. In high school and college I was quite the junior fashionista. When I re-arrived in NYC I had the opportunity to walk in a plus-size show for a friend who styles (plus size! I'm an 8 for goodness sake!). In 2006 I attended three shows in the tents and in 2007 I was at one. But more recently my body and budget issues have put my fashionista aspirations on the back burner. Over the last couple of mmy freelance projects have revolved around fashion. Though the industry is kind of messed up in terms of ego savagery it's been fun to get back into the exciting whirlwind that is FASHION, all caps.

This year I was particularly interested in getting into Leifsdottir's Spring 2010 presentation. I realized it too late and didn't start making calls to the peeps I know until the beginning of September. I didn't have high hopes. Though I had no luck through my connections it was great to get in touch with friends, some of whom I hadn't spoken with in a couple of years.

Usually the response I got was, "Can't do Leifsdottir but I can get you into X." I was shocked! I got invites to some great shows. All I had to do was ask!

Friday was by far the craziest day. After failing to get an invite to Leifsdottir through friends by sheer luck Anthropologie's PR firm invited me directly. I could not have been more excited. I put in a 3/4 day at work and then went to the presentation. Unfortunately my partner in crime F had to bail so I went by myself. It was such a beautiful presentation and I loved just about every single piece. The presentation was my first time blogging about a show and I had trouble editing myself because I was so pleased with what I saw. Here's the post.

Friday was GROSS in NYC -- rainy and cold and more like October or April than September. Soaked to the bone, I ran from 38th St & 7th Ave to the tents to make Nicole Miller. Thank goodness these shows always start late. My friend J was understandably pissed that I was late but once the show started all was forgiven. I loved Ms. Miller's show. She had an intense peacock modern print in several pieces that I found intensely awesome, even from the second-to-last row.

I was a bit embarrassed by how underdressed I was. I usually break out the DVF for Fashion Week and had my Pilar dress set to go. The rain completely messed with my plans. I ended up in jeans, a white tank and a grandpa cardi. Not exactly front row material.

I did much better on Saturday. Rain again killed my Pilar plans but I did wear a fabulous pair of wide leg trousers, awesome 4" ruffle heels and a Theory blouse that was flatteringly...umm...flattering. I was lucky enough to see Christian Siriano's show on the promenade. Again I was in the second-to-last row but I heard that many people didn't even get in so I have zero complaints. His collection was stunning even from that far back. I saw later in the online pictures just how cool the prints he made were and there were several pieces I only wish I was famous enough to have an occasion to wear. My friend F tried to introduce me to Tim Gunn but the poor man, dapper as ever, was swarmed.

And yesterday it was a dream come true as I somehow got into Diane Von Furstenberg's show. I kept pinching myself...could not believe it was real. I broke out a Missoni dress and a pair of Cole Haan heels. Looking at some of the frocks inside the tent I would have been safe in DVF. I love almost all of her stuff but last year was a rare miss for me. I liked what I saw for 2010 a lot better. I didn't think her show photographed very well. The photos I've seen have not captured the movement her pieces had.

The end of the weekend was almost a relief. I have an invite to one more show: Nanette Lepore on Wednesday. I would love love LOVE to go but it's smack in the middle of work. Not sure what I'm going to do. But in terms of seeing shows Fashion Week has already been quite the lucky success.

Finding a doctor in NYC: just as hard as it looks

2009-09-03T21:05:00.003-04:00

I don't get sick very often anymore but when I do I am down for the count. Anything lung-affecting is the worst; I've suffered from decreased lung capacity since I was a kid. About 2 weeks ago I started coughing. I was so pissed because I know I got sick at the hospital. I was there for a consultation. I walked in healthy. I walked out sick. I knew it was pretty bad when I started waking up in the middle of the night to cough. Then came to lovely phlegm and waking up with a burning throat. There was no avoiding it: I needed to see a doctor.

Since college I've pretty much avoided the regular doctor. I've been good about the dentist and the lady doctor. But I'm young, spry and healthy. Plus health insurance is so friggin confusing. How much is my co-pay? What kind of doctors can I see? Etc. And forget asking friends for referrals -- all my friends are doctor-aversive like me. Cheating sickness by way of not seeing the doctor.

I had been going to a walk-in clinic so I tried there first. The doctors are mostly medical students doing their rotations and they're pretty nice. The doc I saw took a throat culture which came back negative, decided I didn't have the flu and recommended I take Sudafed and cough medicine. And that was it. I tried both, and while I slept (and snored, I'm sure) like a baby I woke up feeling worse and worse. After a few days I woke up one morning with what felt like blood in my throat. It was so nasty. So I went back and they gave me cough medicine with codeine. Which again helped me sleep but I wasn't getting better. I needed a real doctor.

I turned to my insurer's online physician finder. It was helpful in terms of proximity but less than helpful in terms of anything else. In a city like New York I feel like it's important to have a certified, friendly, highly-recommended doctor. And you'd think there'd be plenty of resources for finding just that doctor. But there's really not. New York Magazine publishes an annual list of Best Doctors but it's like those Who's Who books...you buy your way in. The few websites devoted to doctor ratings had little to no information about most of the doctors.

So it became a crapshoot. The first listing I tried was a nightmare. It turned out it was affiliated with Social Services, which made for all kinds of interesting characters at the office. There were also a bunch of unsavory characters. I was lucky enough to go on a day when they were having a recovering alcoholics group come through. It was the first time in New York I felt scared. I left before my appointment.

Third time's the charm so after failures with walk-in clinics and physician finders I called a friend of a friend who is a receptionist for a plastic surgeon in the city. She found a doctor right by my work. It was nuts. I called his cell phone, then he had me call his Brooklyn office to make an appointment. It's like some kind of secret code you have to follow. But he had after hours appointments so I didn't complain.

The next night I went to the office which was above an upscale retailer. I checked in and started filling out the forms. It was just me and a couple in the waiting area. By the third page I realized they were asking an awful lot about my sexual history. Then I started noticing the office decor. An African fertility statue. Literature about cord blood. Some ad for a pregnant New Yorkers network. Oh my god, I realized. I was at a family practice, not a general practitioner. I almost left but I was so miserable and just wanted to see some doctor, any friggin doctor.

Still it was kind of mortifying when the doctor called me back and the first words that spewed out of my mouth were "uh, I may have made a mistake, I'm not pregnant or anything, I just have a cough!" He just laughed an explained that he was an MD and that the other doctors in the office specialized in fertility and family medicine. Oh. Glad we got that out of the way! The second mortifying moment was when I had to weigh myself. I know I have packed on some pounds in the past month or so and I'm already taking steps to rectify the issue. Still, it was pretty devastating to see the scale land on the heaviest weight I've ever been in my life. Just by a few poinds, but still! I'm surprised I didn't lose a pound in carbon dioxide by how much that deflated me. Not the end of the world certainly but considering I've actually really picked up my exercise routine it's unnerving.

The doc turned out to be pretty cool though. He proscribed some Zithromax for the cough (hello again Zithromax...you and I met many times through Tonsilitis in college). Then he talked general health with me for a bit. My parents are both type II diabetics and lord I do not want to suffer the same fate. Doc told me to go get some blood work, hands me a form, recommends I hook up with a nutritionist, and wants to see me again in 2 weeks to follow up. It's just the beginning but this could be the beginning of a beautiful doctor-patient relationship. I think I found my NYC doc, and it only took 3 years.

Where the hell was this clothing 10 years ago when I needed it??!?

2009-08-15T16:34:00.000-04:00

If I had a time machine, I would go on a shopping spree right now for rockstar clothing. Then I would go back in time to 1999 when I was 17, actively in a band and could actually wanted and needed this stuff. Now I just want it. Man I want this clothing badly. But at 27 with no band, not even a hint of one and damaged vocal chords...yeah. I could probably pull this stuff off on the weekends...no, maybe not. Even though I can pull of fashion chameleon pretty well I just can't see myself pulling off rockstar daily anymore without a legitimate reason.

Walking around Soho today was an exercise in jaw dropping. I'd expect to see this kind of stuff at Topshop or Mango or Necessary Clothing or the like. H&M? Maybe. But walking around Express and Guess seeing the look was both awesome and so friggin unfair.

Some of the options:

I would have killed for these looks at 17. Time. Machine. I cannot tell a lie -- I might buy a couple of these anyway. Just to parade around my apartment when I sing along with my Apple TV at the top of my lungs. It's a good thing my building has thick walls. Or for when I go to concerts as infrequent as that is these days.

Even Nanette Lepore is getting in on the act:

It left me a little speechless. I am just so jealous of all the peeps who will be rocking these looks while I stick to preppy chic. Not that I mind preppy chic, it's just more buttoned up than rockstar.

My guitars are staring at me right now. And they are frowning.

I am shopping my closet and unhappy with the goods

2009-07-28T22:26:00.004-04:00

Deep thoughts at Central Park

So I'm on a spending budget for the first time in awhile (cue world's smallest violin, I know) and of course as part of this I am shopping my closet. It's kind of nice because I have 3 closets but it also kind of sucks because it's opened my eyes to just how disordered my fashion sense has become in the last 12 months.

I can recall it clearly about 13 months ago. I had finished paying off my credit cards a few months earlier and was banking money. But it was also when my stress + available credit card limits combined for the perfect storm of spendthrift. The upside was that I bought some truly fabulous clothing pieces. The downside was that I can clearly see that I was thinking in terms of impulse (ooh, need that, want that) instead of practical, more outfit-driven terms. I'm not really mad at myself because of the happiness it brought me at the time -- and I seriously needed that pickmeup -- but the collateral damage sucks. There is the credit card debt which I think I've whined about enough at this point. Making payments for now until I can afford to clear them for good.

Then there is the realization that I have very few complete outfits. This is part one of why I keep shopping. I have lots of 3/4 outfits: tops with bottoms but no shoes. Or shoes but no real outfit direction to pair with them. Accessories that are good for dressing up but I'm not going out much right now. Fabulous dresses without an event to wear them to. Who stares at their closet every morning wondering what the hell to wear? I do. The sad part is that I have lots of stuff that I love. But very few complete looks.

I've also realized that I completely fell away from my rules of shopping. I am having the typical personal shopper's crisis! I can dress other people just fine (and damn well if I may toot my own horn a bit) but ask me to put myself together and watch me accomplish mediocre at best. I bought bohemian and preppy and modern and classic with blatant disregard for how items would work together or what I needed vs. wanted.

Right now I'm working up the guts to go through my closet and honestly discard the items I don't wear. Some items I hope to sell but most I'll probably donate. The problem is the superficial attachment to the clothing. Oh, this top makes me look thin! I wore these jeans on a hot date! This cardigan is soooo comfy! Etc.

After that's done I will have to revisit my rules which are something like:
1. Only 2 impulse items per season (I have sucked at this rule since moving down to NYC)
2. You should not own more than 2 items in the same color
3. If you cannot think of 3 things to wear with an item, you cannot buy it
4. If you don't wear it within 10 days of purchase, it goes back! (unless purchased at end-of-season sale)
5. Just because it's on sale does not mean buy it
6. Dressy pieces must be bought with an intended use
7. You can justify an expensive buy ONLY IF you believe the cost per wear will work out to be $5/wear or less in the course of 6 months
8. If you see someone else in it on the street and can't style it differently, it goes back
9. Don't give into discount goods unless you will honestly love it next year too
10. If you can't pay it off within 2 billing cycles you can't buy it

I am looking forward to and dreading the upcoming purge. I am also swooning over so many fall pieces I can't buy. Hooray for the reintroduction of budgeting, boo for the lack of disposable income. All in all I'm in pretty good shape...now if I could just find someone to sublet my apartment....so I could get back on-topic!!

If I were waffling any more, I'd need syrup

2009-06-13T16:54:00.004-04:00

Money. It's that lame omnipresent thought that is probably making me age at twice the normal rate. In case you had not heard the economy is not so great right now and here in NYC it's one of those weird undercurrents. I've had too many of my friends lose their jobs. And it sucks. I hate every second of this whole Great Recession.

On the selfish front I've been watching my credit card balances creep back up for several months now. I am the pendulum that swings back and forth between saving all my money (I was pretty damn rich in 2005-2007!!) to nearly broke (college). Right now I'm doing OK. I'm not living paycheck to paycheck. I have a money market account. But that account is at its minimum and I pay a penalty if I drop below that minimum. I have a small savings cushion but I'm saving that for a real emergency, liking suddenly needing to get out of NYC.

Two of my friends and I took out one of our unemployed friends out for dinner this past week. At dinner we were talking about getting stiffed on freelance gigs. It's happened to me recently and my poor friend just got shafted on about $5,000. She's been jobless since February and she and her boyfriend are dangerously close to losing their apartment. He works but it isn't enough to make full rent payments so they're close to being evicted. She's so smart and talented at what she does (web design) and it is INSANE to me that there is no job out there for her. It's certainly not for lack of trying on her part.

This of course got me pretty freaked out. I started thinking about my own finances. And in my typical exercise in extremes way I settled on the idea that I needed to do something right away to shore myself up financially. I called T and asked if one of his financial friends could assess me. He sent me to a friend who is a financial planner to the rich. The friend, G, kindly agreed to see me on Thursday evening. His midtown office is on the 40-something-th floor of a snazzy high-rise with views of Midtown East. I felt pretty VIP even going there. (The security guards were freaked out by my currently-purple hair. Just as it should be.)

So G and I spoke frankly. We talked assets -- my paycheck, stuff I own (not much), stocks I own (none), investments (ditto), 401k (one withdrawn early, one teeny). Then we talked debts. College loans, credit cards, etc. I ducked in my chair. "Remember what it was like to be in your 20s making under 100k!" I pleaded. "I started at 150k out of college," he replied with a smirk (he was making a funny, I know it doesn't sound like it). Damn finance people.

G's advice wasn't really surprising but it still sucked. He told me I was spending way too much of my income on rent, even for a NYC resident. I already knew this but just didn't want to admit it. He recommended moving somewhere super cheap for a year or two to pay off my credit cards and then start thinking about buying. He also said I needed to cancel all of my store credit cards and consolidate the rest of the debt. I explained all the reasons why I want to stay in my apartment. Starting with that I've never been happier in a home. But G cut through it all -- "Those are emotional reasons, Roxy," he said. "And you can't use emotions to pay bills." Or take classes. Or travel. But damn if home isn't where my head clears.

Back in my awesome apartment that I can't really afford I was mulling my options. A big part of me just wants to stay where I am. My mental health has made such a 180 for the better since I've moved in. But it's a big risk. A second option is to get a roommate. I'm not really sure that my floor plan would allow for that. And the third option is to move. I could move into another apartment, or I could go into a roomie situation.

I'm usually good about making a decision and sticking with it. But I keep waffling on this one. I know what I should do but I also know what makes me happy. Happy may not pay the bills but it makes me sane enough to earn them dolla bills. So that's something.

Then and then and now

2009-05-31T19:32:00.006-04:00

Pershing Square (outside Grand Central) in the 1940s

What is it about photos that stirs the soul? Many thanks to Gothamist for helping me discover these Flickr photo collections of NYC from various eras. I love looking at old photos of New York City. It's amazing to see how far the city has come. Some of the photos from the 1800s look almost fake in their simplicity -- there were trees! And barns! In the city proper! To look at photos of what is now a burgeoning urban zoo from way back when is both a tribute and a eulogy.

Take for instance Trinity Church, located on Broadway downtown where Wall St. begins. Many famous figures are buried there, including Alexander Hamilton. So the place has been around for awhile.

Here it is in the late 1800s:

Unbelievable. This shot was taken from east of the church on Wall St, facing west. Townhouses of no more than 7 stories! Above-ground power lines! A general lack of din! Not many people. A far cry from the crowds and noise of today.

Here it is in the 1940s:

This shot is from the same angle as the one above, but further west on Wall St. That's Federal Hall on the right and the Stock Exchange on the left. Love the truck in the shot -- an instant frame of reference. Look at the people's clothing...look at how open the area is. No fences or cops like today. A bygone era but approaching today. The church itself looks so different. I can't say if it's the sun, the film or the technique. It look likes a movie set.

And today:

Tall buildings everywhere. People everywhere. And yet still so damn beautiful. I wonder if George Washington ever walked or rode up Wall St. -- he must have, right? And now there is a statue of him here. I realize that New York City is much younger than, say, Athens, Rome or even London or Paris. And yet there is already so much history here. When I walk around down here in FiDi I can't help but think about the millions that have tread before me. What were they like? Where did they go? Were they happy? What was the city around them like?

I am normally extremely camera-shy and by proxy I'm not usually into people photos. But the human element in the Flickr NYC collections are mesmerizing. Their eyes alone say so much. Such proud people. I like looking at photos from the 40s/50s/60s to see what my parents' lives were like growing up here. And from the 10s/20s/30s to see what my grandparents' lives were like (two of my grandparents grew up here, two immigrated just before WWII). Though I can't explain why some of the photos make me cry. The photos of the 70s and 80s don't touch me as much. It might just be too close to now, a real or fake memory rather than an era I never knew.

I wonder what our time will look like to future generations. Many of the current city movements are about a movement back to nature -- no cars in Times Square, Summer Streets, etc. -- yet many new skyscrapers are under construction reaching higher into the sky than ever. As our historical records become digital I hope we don't lose the qualities a photo can bring. One simple click makes an amazing time capsule. That's a pretty powerful tool.

Weekend of free

2009-05-23T20:51:00.003-04:00

It's Memorial Day weekend and here in the city that means many of the residents flee out to the Hamptons for the weekend. I enjoy the emptiness, which I prefer to think of as a little more room to move around. When I lived on the Upper East Side it was almost comical how few people were left -- it was like "I Am Legend" up there. Down here in Financial District though it was still pretty crowded with tourists in town for the long weekend. I only mind when I'm trying to get to the 4/5 subway line and everyone is trying to take pictures of George Washington.

The last few days have been much better. One thing I do appreciate about myself now is that no matter how hard I try to be moody and depressed it never sticks. I can do it for 2/3 days max. I used to be able to go for months. I am so glad I've grown out of that and receded into optimism. It's tiring being sad. Plus NYC is just always so alive. The kinetic energy is impossible to repulse for too long. T stayed a few extra nights because he was in protector mode and I totally appreciated it. I of course responded by giving him a had time. Especially when I did the math and realized that he's turning 40 in a couple of months! Or 39 again as I used to tell an old acquaintance. We played it loose -- he hung out with friends while I was at work.

One common thing that happens here (and really everywhere) is that my friends will disappear for months at a time and then reappear just as suddenly. So it went this past week with my friend J, who works in the fashion industry doing something international. A buyer maybe. On Wednesday nite T and I went out to dinner at Brasserie with her and then went to the Top of the Rock -- one of my favorite places in the city. Just adore the view.

My big project this week was all about music. My first project is a poster. I took the lyrics to one of my favorite songs and designed it into a text art poster. It came out really cool, I must say. I finally got around today to researching printing costs. A friend had recommended Zazzle and the cost was going to be $180 or something ridiculous like that. But Zazzle was having a 70% off (!) sale so I ended up paying $60. Pics to come once the finished product comes.

The other was hanging up my basses and guitar, something I'd been planning to do since January. It was nerve-racking. I couldn't get the wall anchors in and neither could T so I decided to risk it with just the screws. I tested on the Ibanez (far left) first because, well, it was the cheapest one to replace. It stayed up overnight and so up went the other two...after a trip to Home Depot. The wall hanger's actual hanger piece had a long screw that was pertruding too far out the back to mount flush. A nice store associate offered to saw it down for me. Thanks nice guy!! I hope that having my guitars out and available all the time will inspire me to write and play more often. So far though T and I are just staring at how pretty they are.

Earlier today T once again proved how he's got mad skills. We were riding down the elevator when he ran into an old friend and somehow got us invited to a party in my own building. I could only laugh...I have a lot to learn from him or someone. We declined though. He left for Jersey for man stuff and I have plans to go surfing tomorrow if the weather holds up. I can't wait either way. These days off are so refreshing.

Ancillary causes

2009-05-19T22:15:00.005-04:00

Like most people, I spent most of college broke. For the first three years I spent any extra money I had on clothing. Not beer. Not food. Not drugs. Clothing. And it made me happy enough. (We've all got our vices.) I didn't really have discretionary income until senior year, which probably not coincidentally was the first year I gained weight in college.

Weighty issues aside I remember being so excited about my senior year. I was finally living in a cool apartment. I had a little bit of money to spare. I was getting ready to launch a fabulous career in journalism and/or the music industry (ba-dum-chick!). Every door seemed to be opening. My life seemed well in order.

So it was a shock what a disaster 2003-04 was. That year I also joined a sorority. It was something I'd wanted to do but didn't have the money for until 2003. But for some reason I got a major friend backlash about the whole thing -- they said it wasn't like me and that I changed. Maybe I did change, it's hard for me to say objectively even looking back now. I do remember feeling pretty lonely and commiserating that while one side of my life (the financials) seemed relatively in order, the other side (the social) had fallen into disarray. Much of my life felt out of control.

It helped spur me back East and eventually the move into NYC. That was a good thing. I had to make some difficult decisions. They say you're still forming who you are in your 20s and I re-examined my personality a bit. It felt weird doing it -- I literally evaluated my type of attitude and the way I reacted in situations. For a year or two I focused on consciously changing myself to be what I thought was more socially acceptable. While my social side slowly recovered to a semi-respectable state my financial side a-tumbled. Rent-poor became a term I got all too familiar with. Now an adult I had a serious conversation with myself that went something like, "Self, do you agree to become rent-poor if it means you're in a good neighborhood close to friends and happy?" "Yes, self, I agree." "Terrific, now stop talking to yourself, it's weird."

I think 2007 was probably the best year in terms of financial/social balance since college. In 2008 my financials started turning for the better and oddly enough, my social scale begin to tip downward once again. And now here I am in 2009 with the best pay I've ever made, rent-poor once again but loving where I live and yet goddammit I am fucking up the social stuff. In some ways it's worse because I feel like I am making the effort and yet the efforts are not yielding the results I want. I want to improve myself yet I'm not sure the concessions and changes I'm making are doing it. People must see through it? I'm not sure.

New York City is a tough, tough city to be social in when you don't know anyone. Even harder when you are still building yourself. At least that has been my experience. We are in so many ways a city of loners, a city where everyone is goal-oriented and driven towards their own personal goal. We often forget to step aside and see each other. I plead guilty on this as much as anyone. So if my failure comes from trying to please others and forgetting to please myself I don't mind taking a step back to become myself again. The issue is I've forgotten the right mix. I know small bits and pieces but the passive ingredient I introduced into my personality has overwritten some of harder pieces. It's an everyday battle to find the right balance. I am laughing as I write this because it sounds self-involved and silly. I must have missed this lesson when I was 4 -- how to make friends and influence people. Or maybe I just like crashing into walls. Repeatedly.

Poor T. He's crashing on my couch for 3 days in the middle of this existential breakdown. The guy just wanted to see the Financial District again for a few days. Ha, he had no idea what he was in for. He has suggested I make "Tubthumping" my personal anthem. It's a start.

---------------------------------------------

On a much lighter note, I made T watch "The Bachelorette" with me last nite. During the show I was telling him that I would totally do that show. Much to his chagrin. He came from the logical side saying that the people on the show were there for all the wrong reasons. I came from the modern romantic side saying it would be way easier to find one guy out of a group of 25. (Romantic, right?) Then came the previews for the rest of the season where we already see that poor Jillian finds out that some of the guys were just playing the game rather than actually trying to love her (!), that some were just fame manwhores (!!) and that some maybe left girlfriends back home (!!!).

I turned to T and said I would never, ever do the show. He patted me on the head. Lesson learned.

Driving is hell in NYC (in case you didn't already know)

2009-04-12T19:33:00.003-04:00

Hey, look! It's Tudor City. I totally almost lived there until I looked at a few apartments and cried. They were so ridiculously tiny. Like 200 sq. feet tiny. And when they built Tudor City people didn't have kitchens in their apartments (they ate in mess-hall style cafeterias) so you would see one of the closets sacrificed to the gods of hot plates and dorm fridges. But that is not what this post is about.

And oh hey there's the Chrysler Building with Tudor City! Great shots right? You don't usually see shots from this angle. You see I got these great pictures while sitting on the FDR. Yep. I was in a car. Driving. Don't worry, I wasn't taking pictures while zooming along at (ahem) 40 mph because that's the speed limit. Nope. I was at a standstill thanks to gawd awful city traffic.

On Wednesday it took me 2.5 hours to get to New Rochelle for a Seder. It should have taken me an hour tops. I should have predicted traffic would be hell but I had no idea how bad. I didn't want to take the train because my cousin doesn't really live near a train station. So instead I decided to get a Mini Cooper from Zipcar and zoom and sing at the top of my lungs. I left work early and started the commute at 4:30 from Battery Park City.

(Quick tangent: There is no Mini Cooper on the east side of Financial District. What gives Zipcar? That's your friggin flagship vehicle. Oh and PS the cars at the Cedar St garage are always messy inside and have less than 1/4 tank. I have animosity against my neighborhood Zipsters. Thanks especially to the person who left a Starbucks soy latte in the BMW 328 overnight! My car ride was so pleasant in 30 degree temperatures with the windows down to alleviate the smell.)

My cousin had given me directions going up the West Side but my friend who'd left 30 minutes before me called to warn me off that path. So I thought I would just zip up the FDR drive to the Triboro aka RFK bridge to 95. Oh man. What a mess the FDR was! At 5 PM I hadn't made it to Houston St. At 5:30 PM I was just passing Tudor City. At 6 PM I was near tears at 96th St. Side streets were no better. It was the massive Passover commute!

I have never hit such bad traffic on the FDR. When I lived on the Upper East Side I'd just get on at 96th St and sometimes it would be stop and go. This was just stop. The only good news was that I got to take in the pretty scenery. I went through two CDs before I cleared Manhattan. I almost turned around twice -- the only thing that stopped me was that the traffic was equally bad going southbound. And the WORST was all the idiot drivers weaving in and out of traffic trying to gain any position. I picked the left lane and stayed there almost the whole way up.

Wait though. It gets better. Around the Queensboro Bridge I heard sirens behind me. Thinking it was an emergency I moved over. Except it wasn't an ambulance. It was the Mayor's caravan. Yep, that's right. The Mayor who takes the subway to work was apparently in such a rush to get home that they had to make a traffic jam even worse. I hope he made it in time for dinner!

I almost didn't. I was ridiculously late. So was everyone else though. And for contrast, the trip home took me 40 minutes. And it would have been shorter but I got caught by the toll shift change entering Manhattan. I wasn't even speeding! I didn't have to brake around corners though...god bless Mini Coopers.

The give and take

2009-04-04T10:35:00.002-04:00

Despite all the great things about living down in Financial District there is also lameness. And things that are just weird. I guess because everyone lives in converted business buildings infrastructure is still catching up. Let's start with the biggest FAIL: it seems like nothing is open here on the weekends (especially not food places). Hale & Hearty Soups is all my all-time winter favorite and I have not one but 2 within 5 blocks! Too bad both of them close at like 4:30 PM during the week and don't even bother opening on the weekends. There is no decent pizza place close by that's open on the weekends. At least there's a Chipotle. Duane Reade? Yeah it's the only drugstore down here and it's frickin closed on Sundays. Au Bon Pain? Closed on Sundays. Kudos are due to the Gristede's on Maiden Lane (which, uh, Google Maps says is an unverified listing) which is open decent hours. Unfortunately it's a small grocery store even by NYC standards so while it's great for the basics it's more like a big Bodega than a grocery store. Yeah, that's right, I said Gristede's. This is the nicest, newest one I've ever seen. It's obviously a privately owned affiliate and the owners do a great job with the small space. They do not deliver though. That's a bummer on a rainy day.

Oh and if you have a bank don't plan on visiting it down here in THE FINANCIAL DISTRICT. Because it ain't down here. There's no Wachovia branch. There is this dinky little ATM on Broad Street which is great for taking money out but not so much for putting money in. I'm old fashioned -- I like giving money to peeps, not machines. But don't worry, there is a Tiffany's, a True Religion and a Borders. So at least we've got those necessities covered.

The other weird thing is the lack of local businesses. Restaurants aside everything is a chain or mini-chain. I recently learned that my Uncle used to own a grocery store on Pearl St and my Dad worked bagging groceries there as a kid (this was in the 1950s or 1960s). A little piece of family history! That store is long gone, replaced by I don't know what because I don't know the exact address. There doesn't seem to be much of that stuff down here. It's kind of weird.

Apartment Therapy's Small Cool Contest is Back

2009-04-02T22:38:00.002-04:00

Yeah that's right. No posts for two months and now two in one day! I just wanted to take a moment to give a shout-out to Apartment Therapy's Small Cool contest. I entered last year and though I didn't even make it out of the first round it was such a fun time. It made me feel SO great to even make the site. And my goodness my apartment looked SO CLEAN. It was like that for exactly 2 hours I think. I also think my apartment was completely different than the modern minimal mantra AT pushes. They never re-used any of my photos in posts. I appreciate that they posted a different aesthetic from their own in mine though. I heart them.

So far this is my favorite entry but please do head on over and check them all out. And comment if you like 'em. Trust me, the entrants really appreciate it.

Slacker!

2009-04-02T22:27:00.004-04:00

Well, hi. I know I know. That I've fallen down makes me a bit sad but I'm gonna use that tired old "life got super busy and then the economy went to hell excuse." So let's see, where are we? Oh right.

I've lived in the Financial District for almost 4 months now and I LOVE IT. I'm enjoying it so much more than the Upper East Side. No offense at all to the UES -- it's not you, it's me. It turns out that NOT living that close to shopping is much better for my wallet. And while I really miss Central Park I've replaced it with the conglomerate of South Street Seaport-Battery Park-the West Side bike path. My commute to work is much more roomy. Trying to find a lame-ass club has been replaced by visiting one of the local pubs or restaurants. It's probably also the safest neighborhood -- incredibly limited to cars with tons of police around both the World Trade Center and the Stock Exchange. I could go on (and I probably will).

I'll admit it: I get a kick out of telling people that I live on Wall St. Waaaahhhllll street. When I place orders over the phone reps ooh and ahh. Despite the negativity directed towards the stock exchange (two blocks away!) or AIG/AIU/whatever (one block the other way!) Wall Street means something to people. And the superficial side of me gets all buttered up when people coo.

As an added bonus, the Financial District is old New York City. I can give George Washington a very high-five for me/low-five for him if I want on my way past Federal Hall (that is, when they're not shooting lame-ass Domino's pizza commercials there). Many of the streets around me are cobblestone and a proliferation of mounted police officers means I can hear the sounds of the way it used to be. My street is typically pretty dead once Deutsche Bank clears out all the Towncars between 8:30 and 9 PM and I am totally OK with that. I walk out of my building, turn left and have an awesome view of Trinity Church. Just don't try finding a taxi to get home here. You will have to direct them.

And just to rub it in to my former self a bit more...my apartment is 50 times better than my old place. In fact part of the reason why I stopped blogging for a bit was because I honestly thought it was a mirage. I couldn't really be living here. If I said something they would find out (whoever they are) and come drag me out, kicking and screaming the entire way back to dorm-style living in one room. I went to Colorado on vacation and was afraid I'd come back, try to get into my apartment and come to grips with the fact that it was all a dream. But now I have come to realize that yes, I really live in a doorman/elevator building; yes, I really have more than one room; and most importantly yes, I really have a dishwasher.

Not that life is all peaches and cream. I am incredibly rent-poor right now. I knew this and budgeted for it...sort of. I have promised myself not to touch my savings. I had spent the final couple of months at my last job spending myself back into debt. Damn that stress. And really things would have worked out fine at the new place if not for the economy...I would gotten a raise at my 6-month review and maybe even a bonus. Instead I'm just happy to have a job (and one I enjoy to boot! again!) and quietly suffering over bills each month. After rent and expenses I've committed myself to using my disposable income to pay down the cards, but there's not much there. Some nights I can't sleep because I'm so worried about my finances. I don't want to end up like my parents.

I had even considered breaking my lease and moving. But lord I can't do it! The mental health I have gained living in a calm situation is worth saving $1000/mo by moving out to Queens. Really I'm counting my blessings to have this kind of pain to deal with. I know my apartment is below market rate. So I hope to use this time of no disposable money as fodder the next time I want to go spendthirft. For now I'm creatively looking for free events and staying home a lot. But who am I kidding? I'm kind of a homebody anyway. I blog. I code CSS for fun. I play video games. I'm like a 13-year-old boy.

And then the last busy factor came courtesy of a guy or two. No need to get into the messy details, but they're gone now. T is still around and we're currently chatting back and forth about Lost a lot and applying it to our faux relationship. We pretend like NYC is the Island and say really outlandish things. Things like "if I had traveled back in time to 1997 when you were mid-20s and working in the city but had been my current self we would be together!" (me) or "if I had been moved forward in time by the island from 1995 to 2006 in Connecticut we would be co-habitating right now and you'd be pouting about me not inviting you to poker night" (him). Instead we're like Sawyer and Kate -- back in the same place but years apart; him giving me 10 stupid yet endearing nicknames and me giving him exceedingly long glancess without dialogue while corny dramatic music plays. Yep, I'm a geek.

My life is much quieter today

2009-02-01T13:15:00.007-05:00

We'll get back to our regularly scheduled blog in a few days but first I have to get this off my chest. And I have to say I'm so sorry to the two kitties in the photo above.

You see, as I settle into my new apartment I wanted to realize one of my dreams: having a pet. I grew up with horses; I trained dogs and scuttled around barn cats. And now that I finally live in more than room again I figured now was a great time to get a pet. Really I wanted to get a dog but I just can't do it. I'm not home enough to care for a dog and I don't want to give up my social life in order to care for one. Also, I liked the idea of cats as independent animals. Sure they'd want pets and love and for me to clean the litter box but mostly they'd kind of do their own thing. Perfect pets for an on-the-go 20-something.

So I settled on a cat. After talking to several of my friends who have cats they recommended that I get 2 so they could keep each other company. Easy enough. My first thought was to get kittens because they are just so damn cute. But I adopted right after the holidays and the pickings at ASPCA, AC&C and even North Shore were pretty thin.

At North Shore I met two adorable calicos named Erin & Evelyn. About a year old, they were calm and friendly even in the madhouse environment of an animal shelter. I knew they were the kitties for me and so I adopted them on January 4th. They were immediately rekindled Latke and Knish -- my (belated) Hanukkah kittes. On the way home Knish meowed the entire way...who are you? Where are we going? Are we there yet? I talked to them for the entire drive, telling them we were going home.

Once home I opened the carrier and allowed them to come out when they were ready. Knish came out right away but Latke spend most of the first day in the carrier. They didn't eat much for the first few days and I was really scared the second day because Knish spent almost all day sleeping in the carrier coughing and sleeping and I thought she was really sick.

Luckily both cats were healthy. Soon their true personalities came out: Latke was the more aloof and active kitty. She spent her time up on my windowsill cooing at the birds across the alley. Knish always wanted to be by my side. Or, more accuarately, on me. Literally in my lap at all times. Very needy kitty. For the first week or so I allowed her to climb all over me unabated but soon I grew weary of this.

Knish -- always RIGHT there.

I started training her that climbing all over me without permission was not OK. We made some good progress but every time a guest came over she would fall right back into it...climbing all over people. My biggest issue with this is that she liked to give love bites to people's faces. Nothing like BFF M's kitty Tolstoy who straight out bites but a bit alarming to someone meeting her for the first time. The worst was that she would do this to people in their sleep. I had four friends crash with me at various times over the past four weeks and each time I heard someone wake up saying "OW!" to a facial kitty love bite.

I was totally willing to work on this, though it worried me so. They did the typical kitty things like scratching anything but the scratching post (I tried both fabric and cardboard) and even a sofa cover didn't really dissuade them. Nor did bitter apple spray.

Latke -- watching.

Overall though they were great kitties. Not scratchers, not really bitters, good dispositions, endless source of entertainment. The issue for me became two things: 1 -- my alergies started acting up and 2 -- they always wanted to be right with me. The second item really disarmed me. They meowed constantly. Not just when they were hungry. They meowed when I went to the bathroom. They meowed when I left; they meowed when I came home. They meowed when I was right there sometimes. Knish was much worse than Latke. Her meow sounded like, "mom" to me. Mom, mom, mom, mooo-ooom. All the time. In an attempt to help my allergies I closed my bedroom door at night and she would sit right outside almost all night just meowing. It got a bit better as time went on but it was grating. A couple of nights I gave up and let them in but Knish just wanted to paw my face and give me love bites. I couldn't take it.

It became that everything they were doing started to annoy me. They would run around the apartment playing in the middle of the night and crash into things. They would scratch the door to my bedroom and the walls (which I found so weird). They clawed my rug; they clawed my couch. Knish loved to run my rolls of toilet paper. I put a little bell on it so I could catch her in the act but eventually I just closed all the doors to my other rooms. I got them playthings -- squeaky balls, mice with catnip and a fishing pole so we could play together. Except the cats were kinda dumb with the mice -- they always batted them under the stove and fridge. You'd think they would learn to play with them somewhere else, and I always presented them on the opposite side of the apartment...but no, every day I had to fish the toys out.

One day a bit over a week ago I caught Knish ruining yet another roll of toilet paper. Incensed, I chased her around the apartment with a water spray bottle telling her no. After a minute of it my faculties came back and I said to myself, "Roxy, what the hell are you doing???" I couldn't justify my actions but in that moment something became clear: this just wasn't working. I was beginning to resent the cats for forcing me to change my life. I know that's incredibly selfish and it pains me to admit it. They made me happy sometimes yes, but more often then not they were making me frustrated. I have such a tough job at work that all I want to do is come home and unwind. But the cats wouldn't let me unwind. They wanted attention -- which was reasonable -- but I just didn't want to provide enough. My skin is rashed, my nose is runny and my eyes itch. But mostly, I just want to be alone.

I gave myself a few more days to change my mind. The responsibilities: feeding, changing litter, etc. didn't bother me at all. Oddly, it was the peripheral stuff that was getting to me. And even though I felt incredibly guilty I realized it was best to take the cats back to North Shore. It would be worse to keep them and resent them. Maybe I would eventually grow up a bit and learn to love the cats. But chances of that didn't look good. This just solidifies that I am a dog person. They were great cats but their temperment was not right for me. I feel like 99.9% of people would have loved to have these two cats. What the hell is wrong with me? They would do better in a family I think, where someone could always be paying attention to Knish.

So on Friday I called North Shore and made preparations to bring the cats back. And my god it was awful. Latke just laid quietly in the carrier for the whole drive, but Knish was giving this terrible gutteral meow. Almost like a moan...no no no please no. I was bawling the entire way. I felt terrible. I feel terrible. How unfair and immature of me was this? The only comfort is knowing that North Shore is no-kill. I sat in the parking lot crying for 20 minutes, giving myself one last chance to change my mind. I didn't. The staff didn't ask me any questions except if the cats were healthy. I kept it under control until they brought the empty carrier back out. Then I totally lost it.

To say I am disappointed in myself doesn't even begin to cover it. Some animal lover I am. I couldn't even deal with two kitties. The projections made mental leaps in my head -- if I couldn't deal with two cats how would I ever deal with kids? What is so wrong with me that I resent two other beings in my life? It wasn't like they were asking for much. Today my life is much quieter than it was yesterday. And I feel so much worse. This regret is terrible. I don't regret bringing them back, even though I almost called to get them back. The regret is getting them in the first place. How unfair of me. How immature of me. I am totally beating myself up here.

And I owe two little kitties an apology. I hope someone better than me adopts them soon and forever.

Still Alive! And I'll be back soon.

2009-01-11T19:41:00.000-05:00

Wow, I can't believe it's been almost a month since I moved. As is always the way, while many people's lives seem to slow down in the winter mine picks up to almost a frantic pace. Which is my backhanded excuse for no posting the past month. I have plenty to share though and notes on what to post. I plan to resume posting at the end of January (thanks for holding on with me!).

Til then...keep warm.

Parting thoughts on the Upper East Side

2008-12-14T22:49:00.003-05:00

Yes Virginia, there are bathrooms
bigger than a closet in NYC.

When I first thought of myself living in NYC, I pictured living on Gramercy Park with one of the exclusive keys to the park. The apartment in my dreams looked a lot like the apartment my Aunt used to have on 24th & 3rd -- Alcove studio with a walk-through closet to the bathroom. Separate kitchen. Lots of windows. Separate kitchen.

I never thought about the Upper East Side. Now it's hard for me to think about living somewhere else! Over the past year and a half I have really come to love the area. The shopping is amazing; the park is close; you have tons of great groceries and markets and Museum Mile is only 2 Avenues away from me. Did I mention Madison Ave? Or Carl Shurz Park? Or John Jay Park (with the pool)? The neighborhood is a mix of private townhouses, brownstones and high raises. The people are a mix of young and old from every country under the sun.

Oh sure it hasn't been perfect -- the 2nd Ave subway line won't be done until 2015 if it gets completed at all, meaning you're stuck on the 6 with 1,000 of your closest friends in one car. And it's not exactly a hopping bar or club scene up here at nite if you're into that kind of thing. And you may get run over by a Park Ave mommy or nanny. But it's been a wonderful first NYC neighborhood.

Five things I'm going to miss:

5. Being so close to Central Park. I spent many days sunning, walking and taking pictures in the park. I haven't even come close to exploring all of it yet. You can't underestimate the value of having huge amounts of outdoor space nearby. It really does make a difference.

4. National Jean Company, Marimekko, Lucky Brand Jeans, the 86th St line of stores, Jubilee shoes and Free People. All of these stores are within 10 blocks of me. They're not the only places I shop at but I wasted plenty of Saturday afternoons cruising up and down 3rd Ave for fun. Marimekko is probably the store I'll miss the most.

3. JG Melon, Atlantic Grill, T Bar, PJ Bernstein, Ray Bari Pizza, Totonno's, Gracie Mews Diner. Most of these restaurants have other locations in the city but some are only up here on the Upper East Side. I'll miss Haru's and my regular delivery places too. I was finally getting to know my local eateries.

2. The 6 train subway stations. Among the newest and best-kept; they are gorgeous. My 77th St station has a lovely mural when you walk in. I won't miss the crowding but I'll miss being on the line I've taken since I was a little kid.

1. My apartment. Yeah, despite everything I'm gonna miss it. It's such a cute little studio. I packed a ton of crap in here and decorated it well (if I do say so myself). It had everything I needed except for a dishwasher. It was brand new when I moved in. I was an uptown girl and that was pretty frickin' sweet.

Five things I don't think I'll miss:

5. My backyard. I really thought outdoor space was going to be key but I didn't really use it as much as I would have liked. I never had a real party out there due to scheduling conflicts. I sat out there but wasn't really able to enjoy it as much as I would have liked because the other buildings had outdoor space too and there wasn't enough privacy. But my foster dogs loved it!

4. Taxi rides up here. Man, I thought the fare from Flatiron was a lot but the few times I've taken a cab from work in Soho up here it's been over $20. That's at least $18 more than the subway ride and they both probably take about the same time. Cabs might even take longer. And catching a cab sucks in the morning.

3. Only 1 subway line. If you live in between 59th St and 86th St you can't take the 4 or 5 and this area is too densely populated to be served by only the 6. If Mayor Bloomberg really took the train to work every morning he'd know how much it sucks. In my completely biased opinion the 6 is the most crowded subway line and I'm glad I won't have to ride it anymore unless by choice.

2. The snotty people. OK, I get it. We're uptown. Upper crust and all that. Much fancier than the Upper West Side. Old money. Yeesh. Whatever. Can you please get the hell out of my way now?

1. My neighbors. Just to beat a dead horse a little more, I hope karma kicks both my next-door and upstairs neighbor in the arse with an equally bad neighbor moving into my apartment. Like maybe a cop who doesn't take any bullshit. Or a druggie party-addict who is up at all hours. Or a band member who holds practices here. I know it's evil. I don't care. They've burned all their empathy hours with me.

Five things I already know are gonna suck at the new place:

5. Getting to Yankee Stadium. Yeah, I'll still be near the 4 train, but I'll be about 40 minutes away. Yuck. Can't even think about this.

4. Far away from Central Park. But near Battery Park. Not quite a fair trade-off...but I'll make do.

3. No grocery stores in the Financial District. Apparently this is a hold-over from FiDi's reputation as a 9 to 5 neighborhood. Someone should really capatilize on this. (Hint, hint, D'Agostinos or Whole Foods.)

2. Doing my own laundry again. I got really used to sending it out.

1. Getting my friends to come down to my new place. It's kind of out the way for most of my friends...kind of like the Upper East Side has been. Oh well. You win some and you lose some.

The movers are coming at 9 AM tomorrow morning. I doubt I'll sleep much tonight. Too sad (to be leaving) and excited to be arriving at the new place. Parting is such sweet sorrow, Upper East Side.

Back in boxes

2008-12-09T22:16:00.002-05:00

And so the process begins again...it's the circle...the circle of life! No sooner had I signed my lease than I began packing. OK, really I started packing like 2 weeks ago but now I am in full-on living out of boxes mode.

The first comment: my god I have a lot of crap! I had really packed a lot of stuff into my tiny little studio. It hadn't felt cluttered until recently but I've clearly outgrown the space. When I first moved in here I lived out of boxes for about the first 3 weeks. I don't think I slept in my bed for the first 2 weeks because with the boxes everywhere there was no room. I am so excited that I won't have the same issue in my new place. I am getting back to that state in my current place though. I think I will spend the weekend sleeping on my couch, or with the sofa bed pulled out if room allows.

I have a checklist of things to do before I move. First on the list? Call the moving company! Even though I had a wonderful moving experience with Gentle Giant last time around I ended up calling Flat Rate Moving because BFF M just used them to move and she gave me a killer referral discount. Their rep was pretty cool. I itemized everything I could think of that I own. He kept asking me "Anything else?" which gave me flashbacks to Dude, Where's My Car? And then? No and then! I kept saying that's it but then oh wait I would think of something else.

One lovely thing about moving into a luxury building is they have all these weird rules. The moving company has to fax some kind of proof of insurance thingy (not the official name), you can't move in on the weekend even though there's a freight elevator and you have to sign up for a 2-hour moving window. Yuck. The rep has at least pretty responsive. Fairly responsive. Whatever.

I am so excited that I can't sleep. I move in on the 15th. Is it Monday yet?

One more hunt story to share

2008-12-08T08:27:00.003-05:00

Last week I was afraid to write any posts before I signed my lease for fear of jinxing myself. But before I forget I have another lovely hunt story to share.

By Tuesday I had spent a day or two moping about losing Astor Pl place and I'm still smarting about being rejected by Tribeca. But like everyone was telling me when it's meant to be it will be. My management company rep at my current place was actually quite excited when I called her on Dec. 1 to say I would be staying a bit longer. But I wasn't. I couldn't even love my place anymore. I can't sleep here and I can't relax. I find myself staying at work later than I have to because I don't want to come home. That's a sure sign I needed to get out.

On Tuesday night I was cruising Craigslist and there was just nothing in Soho, Nolita or Tribeca. It was either something I'd already seen or something outside my price range. I tried looking in the Village but I am ambivalent about living there. One thing I have learned on this search is that Soho is loud at night and the Village is even louder. Unless I have thermopane windows is that something I really want to deal with? Probably not.

Come Wednesday I spent some time at my old enemies Best Apartments. On my first apartment hunt I was working in Flatiron and called about an apartment in Chelsea. They dragged me all the way up to the UWS just to tell me that apartment was no longer available. Bastards. I still harbor a grudge about that one. And despite this I was about to call them about another place. I must be a sadist.

This time around I called about a 1 BR in the West Village. The ad had two photos that didn't really show anything but the ad said "dishwasher" so I was in. I feel really badly because I called the poor agent on her cell phone around 9:30 PM. I'd just gotten home from work. She was quite understanding about it and actually said "You're still pretty early. I get calls after 11 PM all the time." Once again a broker forced me to come into the office before I could actually see the place but at least this time I could meet her at her office in Flatiron...wait...Best Apartments has an office in Flatiron?? You mean during my last hunt I could have just gone to the office in Flatiron??!? That makes me even madder about my first experience with Best Apts! Argh!

I wanted to meet at 11 AM. The broker, C, had another appointment then so we compromised with 1 PM. But the next morning the agent text messaged me to ask to meet at 11 AM because her appointment had canceled. I got the text at 10:30 and ran my ass out of work to make it in time.

Good thing I rushed because I had to wait around about 20 minutes before C was ready to see me. As 5, 10 and 15 minutes passed my mood got increasingly foul. However there is no sense in starting off a meeting with rudeness so I calmed down and smiled when C finally greeted me. She had me sit down with her boss, K, a dude on a mission to make me feel bad.

K - "So long have you been looking?"
Me - "About 2 months."
K - "Wow, really. And how many places have you seen?"
Me - "Probably about 50." I should never have said this, plus I was wrong. I've only seen about 20 places. It just feels like 50.
K (rubs face with hands) - "Ooookay. And what was wrong with them?"
Me - explains how my priorities changed during the hunt from MUST live in Soho to wanting a dishwasher, closets, prewar, etc. He asked me a few more basic questions about neighborhoods and the like.

K then proceeded to give me what I like to call the "Broker pretending to be your parent but actually just wants your money" lecture. You see Roxy, he told me, you're asking for too much in one apartment! You want space, plus a dishwasher, plus closets, plus below 14th St and that just may not exist in your price range! At some point you're gonna have to compromise on something! Probably multiple things. You need a gut check. You need to re-examine your priorities. You're never going to be totally happy so you may as well just settle for something close.

He then finished up with this gem (not paraphrased, this is actually what he said): "It's clients like you that make brokers bald."

I can't even imagine what the look on my face was but let me tell you that I was seething. I didn't come in for a lecture, I wanted to say. And if you were forthright in your ads I could have probably saved myself 50 percent of the misery I've had for the last 2 months seeing apartments that were not at all as advertised! And you are bald! Don't set me up to say something extraordinarily rude like that!! But if there is one thing that being a manager has taught me it's that retaliation gets you nowhere. So instead I counted to 4, refocused and as politely as I could asked:

"Is the apartment I called about still available?"

K clicked his keyboard a bit and said yes. Yes it is. And as he clicked some more he said it actually sounded like it fit most of my criteria. (I'm well aware, I internally monologued.) We had wasted 45 minutes and I had to be back at work soon so C only had time to show me this one place. K asked me if I minded small places. It's a pretty good size he said but not huge. I have no idea how to respond to things like this. Small meaning...what? 200 sq. feet? 400 sq. feet? It was a 1 BR so how small could it be? C took me.

The apartment was on West 13th between 6th and 7th. We took the V one stop (it was cold) and then walked there. We got in to the lobby where C was supposed to call the Super. Except the intercom system was a phone, there was no directory and C had no idea what the Super's number was. My patience was wearing thin. She called K. She called someone else in her office. No one was very helpful. My God I hate this shit about brokers. Can't they be prepared? Such a waste of time. I was ready to just leave. Finally after about 10 minutes a resident walked out and we got in. It was a large building with an 'elevator.' Except it was one of those really old creaky 1-person elevators that I would never take. The apartment was on the 6th floor. C put her key in the door, and started to turn the lock...it wouldn't turn. Here we go, I thought to myself. She spent 5 minutes trying to turn the lock over and it just wouldn't. I tried too. Finally she got it turned 3/4 of the way...and it got stuck. The comedy of errors continues! She calls K, like he's going to help from the office?

Anyway about 5 minutes later she got it unstuck and we got in. I was hoping the place would be worth it but it sure wasn't. While the location was awesome (near the Magnolia Bakery among other things) the apartment was tiny. I had my measuring tape. The kitchen was a wall in the living room first of all so right there I lose space over my current place. The two rooms were tiny boxes. Together they added up to 250 sq. feet. So not only would I lose my separate kitchen, I would lose another 20 sq. feet of living space on top of it. Not worth it. There was also only one, tiny, single-door closet and the bathroom had no tub. I summarily rejected it. All that work for nothing.

As we headed down the stairs I was quite dejected. C started to talk and I thought she would have comforting things to say. But instead she berated me! That was a great place, she said. Your standards are too high. If you keep looking out for that perfect place you're never going to be satisfied by anything she said. You will never move.

This went on for a couple of minutes. I just let her unload. My God where has my fight gone? I should have berated her right back. Instead I just shrugged and replied, "Maybe I won't ever move, you could be right. But I'm not settling for crap." And then we said our goodbyes.

I figured that was the end of ironically-named Best Apartments, take 2, but that afternoon I got a call from C. "Hi, Roxy, I found an apartment in Tribeca that might work for you! Alcove studio, high floor, lots of light, dishwasher...would you be interested?" Uh, OK. Except the rent was $2500, so she had to call the management company to see if they would let me in. Which they would not. And that was the end of ironically-named Best Apartments, take 2. Don't be like me. Don't use them. They are horrible.

Signed, Sealed, Delivered: I have a new apartment

2008-12-06T00:20:00.006-05:00

See that appliance on the left side of the photo above? That's a DISHWASHER. Love them. Know what's even better? It's the dishwasher in my new apartment! Yes, it's finally true: after 2 months of searching and two failed attempts I have successfully signed a lease for an apartment. I feel 500 lbs lighter (see ya later, gorilla).

I know it's hard to believe but I even have nice things to say about 2 brokers! First of all, Broker S from Manhattan Connection emailed me on Wednesday to say he was back in town and yes he would check with Tribeca place about using my sister as a co-signer to see if that would get me in. It didn't work out but he even called me back to let me know! What a nice guy and I mean that. He didn't admonish me for anything during our viewings together and really advocated for me to the management company. That is exactly what a broker is supposed to do! S works at Manhattan Connection's office on 78th & Madison.

I have noticed in general that brokers have been a bit nicer to me this time around. I'm not sure if it's because of the time of year, the depressed market, my higher budget or a combination of the three. But in the end it was not S who found me my apartment. It was a different broker, L, from Platinum Properties.

After the West Village place didn't pan out and I wasn't even allowed to be considered for the Greenwich St place in Tribeca I knew I had to expand my neighborhood options. I know I didn't want to go north of Union Square (and really, not north of West 4th St) I realized my other option was the Financial District. I was pretty down on the neighborhood when I first moved here but recently I've visited it and I am warming up to it. Plus there are so many deals to be had with many financial industry workers moving out.

While expanding my neighborhood parameters I also gut checked myself about what I wanted in an aparment. I realized that besides the ever-present need for a freakin' DISHWASHER I would love to live in a full-service building. That wasn't possible during my first hunt but now I can afford it. So I looked for full-service skyscrapers in FiDi with no fee. And I found plenty including many listed by Platinum Properties. Kind of an over-the-top name for a brokerage in my opinion but I digress. I found three listings that interested me: a 1 BR in Tribeca off Leonard St, an alcove studio with floor to ceiling windows and a terrace in FiDi and a building with a pool in FiDi (c'mon, a pool!).

The next morning the broker, L, called me to discuss what I was looking for. I told her: a dishwasher and closets in a luxury building. Some other likes: high floor, nice views, open kitchen, big windows, light. She and I scheduled a long appointment to do several viewings that afternoon. She promised to gather up a few buildings for me to look at -- all no fee.

Their office is at 30 Wall St and I showed up a bit early for my 4 PM appointment. I'm not gonna lie -- as soon as I got off the subway I knew where everything to the west was, but the East was a big mystery to me. Broker L was very nice. She had an index card with 5 different buildings for me to look at. She told me all about each before we left and I immediately cut two (the one off Leonard St? That was Tribeca place that rejected me!).

The first building was 10 Hanover Square. There was a Starbucks in the lobby which I loved. All of these buildings have their own leasing offices within. So I had not only a broker but also a tour guide! The leasing agent gave me a packet (ooh, a packet!) about the building as well as a floor plan of the apartments I would be seeing. There were a few apartments available within my price range. Each apartment style is called a "line." I saw a T-line and and a U-line.

The floor plan above is a T-line plan.
The U-line plan looked just like it
but was flipped horizontally.

So ready for a new apartment term? "Studio home office." This is basically a 1 BR but legally a bedroom has to have a window. When you see studio-home office in ads you have two separate living areas. Almost all of the apartments I saw with L were studio home offices.

The apartments at 10 Hanover were lovely -- hardwood throughout, lovely granite breakfast bars, new appliances, nice closets and marble bathrooms. And one of the apartments was on the 21st floor and had an awesome view of 40 Wall St. But they were tiny for the price! $2325 for the lower floor and $2400 for the 21st floor. Plus I hated how you walked into the home office -- which I would have used as the bedroom. Granted people can see my "bedroom" now in my tiny space but if I'm upgrading I want to be able to keep it separate. I suppose you could make it the living room but still...awkward to say the least. And the neither living space was very big. I would only be gaining about 120 sq feet and some of that wasn't really usable. I do have to say that the building's amenities were great. I quickly came to learn that all of these buildings have huge lounges, roof decks and game rooms with free wifi. There was also storage in the building and the most amazing gym I have ever seen. It had a 3-story rock wall! Turns out the building used to the be the Goldman Sachs headquarters. Something about that made me feel dirty.

I was quite impressed with the building but not the apartment so we continued on. Next stop was the Crest. Located at 63 & 67 Wall St, two buildings were combined to make one. The apartments I looked at were both in 63 Wall St. Again I saw the lounge and the gym. The lobby of 67 Wall also had an amazing atrium.

Up to the apartments. We saw on the 3rd floor and one on the 12th floor. I was told there was an application in on the 3rd floor apartment so honestly I didn't pay too much attention to it. It was nice -- it had 3 HUGE closets) but I was excited to see the view from the 12th floor. That apartment had a wonky layout but I loved it! It was built on a diagonal so everything was built into nooks. And the view: wow. Another great view of 40 Wall St. The 3rd floor unit was $2495 and the 12th floor unit was $2595 but L was sure we could negotiate. Still, I was eager to see what else was out there.

The next building was 45 Wall St., and after the first two places neither apartment really impressed me. I saw a large studio that had awesome closets (and at $2295 cheap!) but was very dark and an alcove studio that had a nice terrace but was tiny (and expensive at $2550). We made one last stop at 100 Maiden Lane. The apartment had plenty of windows but no great view to enjoy so I passed.

I had seen almost 10 apartments by the end of the appointment and I admit my head was spinning! I was already having trouble remembering one apartment from another. Plenty to think about. L and I went back to her office and she suggested I sleep on it. It was late enough by then that none of the apartments was likely to be taken out from under me.

I spent all night deliberating between the 21st floor apartment at 10 Hanover Sq and the 12th floor apartment at the Crest. I liked the apartment at the Crest better but it was more expensive and the building amenities at 10 Hanover were better. 10 Hanover was further from the subways though. And the Crest had a better layout. Flip flop flip flop.

Finally the next morning I had decided -- the 12th floor apartment at 63 Wall St. L and I chatted for while. I wanted to go back to the Crest and see the places again to take photos and measure. She agreed to take me back. On the way we chatted about the rent. L thought she could get the management company down to $2550. Blargh. That was still more than I wanted to pay by $50. That right there would save me $600 a year. Really I wanted to pay $2400, which would save me $1200. L suggested that we take another look at the 3rd floor apartment, which she felt she could get down to $2450. She mentioned that it had showed up in her daily listings so there was a good chance the application didn't go through.

On second viewing I fell in love with the 3rd floor apartment. Now that I had the other apartments to compare it to it really was something. Tall, 10 foot windows with stained glass. A nice kitchen open to the living room. Three huge closets. A nice layout. I wanted it!

We found out the apartment was indeed open so I put in an application. I offered $2400 on a 16-month lease with 1 month free. And on Friday morning I found out my offer was accepted and it was mine!! I signed my lease on Friday evening and I can move in on the 15th. Hooray! My long, miserable journey is finally almost over. I will post some more thoughts later this week but I need some sleep first. And to pack.

State of the Apartment Hunt

2008-11-30T20:29:00.003-05:00

Well, here I am. Still in the same apartment. With the mice. I ended up backing out of the Astor Place place so I am back to square 1...again.

When we last left off, broker I had told me that Astor Place place was insisting on a guarantor. I negotiated some free rent out of the deal and decided to move forward. I talked to my sis and she was cool with it so I had the application emailed. Good thing I checked it first because they had jacked up the rent in return for the free rent. Yeesh. Did they think I wasn't going to notice? The broker said "well the management company is paying my fee so I can't really negotiate." What kind of BS is that? The worst kind if you ask me. So I said no way.

Now I am sitting here with a chunk of change in my bank account that I can't spend, and though I'm sure everything will be fine I'm kind of hoping that I still have my place because I had to leave a message for my management rep earlier this week that I would be staying another month. I am 99.9% sure that she hasn't shown my place yet because 1) it's been a disaster area and 2) I'm pretty sure I'm the only one with keys to my door locks. The locksmith changed them after I moved in. I've tried calling every day this week except Thanksgiving and always get voicemail. So hopefully I won't be tossed out on the street tomorrow night because that would really suck! (Though it would also be just my luck lately.)

Between the crazy market and crazier management companies this 2nd NYC apartment search certainly has not gone the way I envisioned. Despite it all, I am optimistic I will find a great place. I'm lucky to have an understanding job and some flexibility in my living situation. Now we are entering the slow period both for new rentals coming onto the market and the amount of renters looking. The tough thing now is leases -- I don't want a lease that expires on Dec. 31! So I'll probably need to negotiate a 13-month lease.

The other option is to take a month or two off from apartment hunting. But every time I convince myself this is the right move (and logically it probably is) one of my neighbors will crash around or keep me up overnight or I will see yet another mouse scampering around and as my mental health slowly wears away I realize why I have to get the hell out of this apartment ASAP.

In one last-ditch moved I emailed Broker S back about the Tribeca place. Last week I had drinks with a friend who is a broker and he asked me why I didn't pitch my sister as a co-signer instead of a guarantor. The bad thing is she would be treated as a roommate instead of a guarantor. But the truth is it's mostly a moot distinction. So I wrote to S last Monday. Have not heard back: he either just laughed at how pathetic I am or he was on vacation last week. It's a longshot but you never know.

So for the meantime I am: 1 - hoping I still can stay in my current place for at least another month! 2 - hoping Broker S writes me back with good news and 3 - searching for anything that measures up to the Tribeca or Astor Place places. Maybe I'll just move to Queens.

Adventures in...Tofurkey

2008-11-30T11:21:00.003-05:00

After all the drama of apartment hunting (still hunting) I was happy for the Thanksgiving break to have something else to think about. I spent the week before mentally preparing myself to gain five pounds in potatoes of the mashed variety, stuffing and turkey. Then I got an invitation I just couldn't pass up. Friends H & G were attending a vegan Thanksgiving and invited me along.

At first, I was like, no turkey? You must understand that I see a dish and think, "hmm, how could I add some meat to this?" I am very much the steak and potato kind of girl. But I was intrigued by the idea of tofurky...tofurkey...whatever. Not real turkey. I knew the stuffing would also taste different. I was in anyway.

Don't tell anyone, but I'm a big tofu fan. The only reason why I don't eat it more often is that I can't stand the smell of it raw. Give it to me grilled or cooked somehow and we're all set. I curious to see how it would hold up vs. turkey.

We met up at the restaurant around 4:30 on Thanksgiving. Soup to start with lots of veggies -- carrots, celery, peas, onion, yum. I kind of missed chicken or turkey in the soup but it was just a starter. Then we lined up, buffet-style for the main course. The side dishes were a'plenty: mashed regular or sweet potatoes (with pecans), stuffing, sweet potato pie, green bean casserole, noodle pudding, mixed veggies, cranberry sauce, some kind of bean dish, vegan gravy.

Then we finally got to the Tofurkey. I was trying to picture what it would look like. Would it be shaped like a turkey? Would it be rectangular? Would it resemble spam? Truth is it looked more like a ham -- big, ovular, kind of pinkish brown. A server cut into it with the classic turkey knife to reveal the stuffing in the middle. I took a slice on my already full plate and headed back to my table.

H & G watched me take my first few bites and waited for the reaction. It took me several bites before coming to the conclusion that it was pretty damn good! The tofurkey had the same consistency as turkey -- kind of moist, easy to break apart with a fork and a little bit tasteless. In no way would you ever mistake tofurkey for turkey but it was a suitable replacement. The stuffing was a bit of a disappointment (something to be said for sausage and the like as flavoring) but in the end the meal was delicious and I stuffed myself just as much as I would have with the real thing. Shopping on Black Friday was predictably a disaster. Nothing fit. And that's the way it should be -- making me buy nothing on Buy Nothing Day.

If it wasn't for bad luck I'd have no luck at all

2008-11-23T19:38:00.004-05:00

My bad luck string with apartments continues. On Friday the no-fee broker (I) called to let me know that my offer had been approved for the Astor Place...umm...place. After being burned by Tribeca I have learned that doesn't mean much, so I wasn't surprised when the broker called today to let me know that the management company changed their mind and is now requiring a guarantor. It's kind of bullshit and I'm mad that I keep getting told I'm approved only to find that there are more asterisks than a baseball line score during the steroids era.

The reasons why I'm balking at a guarantor are: 1 -- I am more than likely going to make 40 times the rent I need for this place (I've started freelancing again for some extra cash and though it's iffy I'm sure I'll have no problem clearing $10,000 in freelance work for the year); 2 -- they freakin' told me I was approved! Seriously management companies. Your apartments are sitting vacant for weeks on end for a reason. I know you usually require 40 times the rent but that was during the boom times and guess what? The boom went ka-boom. Now we're crashing back to earth and your rents are going to have to come down if you insist on keeping these ridiculous rent requirements. Building value be damned. Take us as we are or let your apartments drive you broke! It makes no sense to me; buildings would rather take no rental income and uphold these draconian requirements than get rental income a bit under market.

I'm balking at the guarantor clause because of the shaky economy. I don't mind chancing ruining my own credit if I was unlucky enough to lose my job but there is no way I'm taking my sister down with me. That just ain't fair. Just this week two of my friends were laid off and I admit it shook me up a little bit. I wonder if this is a message from a higher power -- don't waste all your income on rent. I really want to move but the cards just don't seem to be aligned for this. Broker I told me he'd talk to the management company and see what they could do. I'm not holding my breath. At least I've already gone through this once so I'm not too upset. I just hope non-Super will let me stay in my current place.

Goodbye Tribeca, hello Village?

2008-11-20T20:05:00.002-05:00

I gave up on the Tribeca apartment yesterday. I had finally convinced the leasing agent that I was qualified and he passed along my application to the central lease processing office. A day and a bit later, they told me I hadn't satisfied their requirements. They offered me two non-sensical options and finally I said ENOUGH! Yeesh. Seriously. So, moral of the story is don't work with Manhattan Skyline Apartments! They are rough mofos. Luckily I didn't have any trouble re-depositing my cashier's check.

I was disappointed most of yesterday but woke up this morning ready to look around again. With winter coming on there are fewer new listings each day. Really the market won't pick up again until after the 1st of the month. I really want to get the heck out of my apartment. I am motivated.

I had talked to broker S about continuing to work with him. He said that would be fine but I haven't heard from him since. I found an apartment listed by his firm but called the broker listed on the ad, I. I and I (heh) met up at the Starbucks at Astor Place to see a Greenwich Village 1 BR.

There were 3 apartments available in the building. Of course I'm now measuring against the Tribeca place...the Village place also has a doorman, also has an elevator and also has laundry (on each floor instead of in a room). It does not have a gym and I'm not sure about the roof deal. The first apartment was pretty cute. Two large closets when you first walk in. A tiny kitchen but I don't mind especially since it had a dishwasher! But all of the apartments are lofts. Which literally means you climb a ladder to the sleeping area. The ceiling was too low in the first and second apartments' lofts.

The third apartment was juuuuusssssttt right. It was by far the largest and its kitchen had a pass-through. The loft's ceiling was high enough to stand up in. Since the building is a converted warehouse the walls are really thick. Oddly enough, my broker used to live in the building so he knew tons about it. Of course, it was also $150 more expensive, putting it at $2500. Not only is that the tippy top of my budget, it's also $100 more than the Tribeca place. But it was 100 sq. feet bigger than Tribeca and...well...I need a place to live. The broker laughed that I hardly even peeped the bathroom. (He's right, I hardly did. But it has a tub and was pretty clean so I don't care at this point.) So I applied for it.

The best part? The broker filled out my application for me! And the only documentation I needed to apply was: two paystubs and a letter of employment. That is 80% less paperwork than Tribeca. I'm liking this place already. I find out tomorrow. My fingers are crossed and I hope yours are too!

I think I lost my next apartment

2008-11-17T19:56:00.003-05:00

Well it looks like Manhattan Skyline Management is going to fuck me out of the apartment they said I could have last week. I spoke to the leasing rep today who gave me three options: 1 -- get another guarantor (can't); 2 -- contact some bond company and get them to co-sign with me (sounds like a scam, no fucking way) or 3 -- put up some kind of asset worth $15,000 as collateral for the apartment (fuck no).

The best part was this paraphrased quote: 'We're not worried about whether or not you can pay the rent. You have good credit and we know you'll pay the rent. The issue is whether or not you meet the qualifications.' So basically...even though you know I'll always pay my rent you don't want me living here because I don't meet your arbitrary guidelines? Sure, that's not discriminatory!

The leasing agent told me to send documentation about my 401k and he'd see what he could do but at this point I'm over it. I'm not giving them anything else. I'm calling my lawyer tomorrow to see if there's any recourse (doubtful though). I'm also in deep shit. I have already given notice that I'm moving out Dec. 1 so now my hands are kind of tied. So I have 10 days or so to find an apartment. Yuck.

Manhattan Skyline Management is making me very angry...

2008-11-16T09:03:00.006-05:00

...grrrr. Well, there is always some kind of drama with NYC apartment hunting and here I am once again. The first time around it was adventures in cashier's check s. This time around it's cold feet on the part of the building's management company. For this building it's Manhattan Skyline Management.

Let's review the hoops I've jumped through so far, shall we? I called about an apartment that was $2200/mo but that apartment was 'gone' so instead I chose a $2400/mo apartment. I filled out an application, I put in a deposit, I paid a credit check fee, I provided all required documentation within 24 hours (copy of driver's license, two paystubs, two bank statements, employment verification letter, first two pages of last 2 years' tax returns, etc.), I make very close to 40x the rent and with bonus will be close to the 45x this building wants (ridiculous) yet I STILL provided the same amount of documentation for a guarantor, I gave a check for ANOTHER credit check fee. I have been nothing but proactive for this entire process. And now you are telling me you're not sure if I make enough to live in your building? Please. I realize it must chafe you guys a bit that you have to rent some of your apartments below market levels. Don't think of it as losing money. Think of it as paying it forward.

Let's review, shall we? The reason you had openings in the first place is because a whole bunch of people in the financial industry lost their jobs and had to move out of your building. I work in the Internet Industry's fastest growing sector -- hosting. While other companies are laying off, our company is hiring. I realize I don't make $11 billion per year (yet) but I have been living in rental housing for 7 years and in that time I have never paid my rent late. That is at least 84 on-time rent payments and counting. Above that, I'm a quiet tenant. The loudest thing I do is blog! (Sad, I know.)

So which would you rather have? A trust fund baby who trashes your apartment, is obnoxious and fucks you over before moving out by not paying the rent for a few months because they just do not care? Or someone who has been clawing for money their entire life, who gets it and knows to pay their bills? God, I am so angry right now!

Yeah, I'm pretty
upset right now.

This would ONLY happen in NYC. I don't know of any other city, village, town, incorporated area, anything that requires jumping through this many hoops. And yet for better or worse I have done everything you asked and have shown myself to be more than qualified for the apartment. Yeesh.

Here is the deal. After being told I was all set for my apartment after a long week and a half process I was just waiting for a call from Manhattan Skyline Management to set my lease-signing date. And then lo and behold last night I get a call from the leasing agent saying that they're not sure I make enough in salary. What? Seriously? You told me I was all set! I have already notified my current landlord that I'm moving out because you said I was all set. You were calling me to set a lease-signing date! That's what you said! You said my application was approved but you wanted a guarantor as backup! This is why I get so nervous about this kind of thing. Good faith is no longer good faith. I knew it wasn't a done deal until I had a signed lease.

First of all, Manhattan Skyline Management, your requirements for living in this rent-stabilized building are exhorbitant. 45x times the rent is 5x above the standard. Furthermore we have been going through this rental process for almost 2 weeks. You have had my application for 12 days. You couldn't mention this before? You waited until AFTER I gave you a cashier's check deposit? What am I supposed to do now? I should mention that your two leasing agents have been mostly a pleasure to deal with but that doesn't make up for this.

Don't answer. Because I know what I am going to do. I am going to research every damn thing I can find in the god-forsaken city rental resources and come to you on Monday armed with enough information and evidence in my favor to bury you. Let's just forget about this little performance anxiety episode, set a lease-signing date and let bygones be bygones. There is no other option. BFF M just went through this exact same thing. Her management company came to their senses and realized peeps like us are ideal residents. Want to wake up to the same thing, Manhattan Skyline?

I'm going to go stew for awhile. Thanks for ruining my weekend, Manhattan Skyline Management.

Metapost: Drawing of a spider does not count as payment

2008-11-16T09:00:00.003-05:00

From Geekologie via the Consumerist comes the hysterical and (apparently) true story of a man, his artistic sense, and a $234 bill. I needed a good chuckle this morning.

'Not even the government requires this much paperwork'

2008-11-15T10:25:00.004-05:00

What a crazy week. I feel as though I have not sat still for a moment. Tuesday and Wednesday were spent being forced to patiently wait for my sister to return from Italy so she could turn over guarantor documents over to the management company at the new building. Luckily work has been more than busy enough to keep me distracted.

I was also pretty nervous about talking to my current non-Super about moving. Even though I have been lease-free since August, you just never know. My boss put the fear of god into me by saying, "You should check to make sure that your lease doesn't have a clause saying anything about extending terms automatically if you stay in the apartment, whether you have a lease or not." GULP. This was something I hadn't even thought about -- the lease automatically extending another near even though I didn't sign a new one? Luckily one call to my family lawyer shut that fear down.

I scheduled a visit with non-Super on Monday...it didn't happen. (I called during dinner. Bad form on my part.) I scheduled a visit with non-Super on Tuesday...it didn't happen. I finally ended up politely telling non-Super I was moving out by phone. Luckily non-Super was pretty cool about it. I asked about the shelves I put up in the kitchen -- could I leave them behind? Non-Super wanted to come see. I asked about my chairs in the backyard -- could I leave them behind? Non-Super wanted to come see. I scheduled a visit with non-Super on Friday...it didn't happen. Sigh.

My kitchen shelves on the right --
who wouldn't want them?

On Wednesday night my sister returned, and by Thursday morning I was already bugging her. I sent her an email with everything I needed: a completed application, two paystubs, two bank statements, the first two pages of 2006-07 tax returns, copy of driver's license, employment verification letter...a singing bush and an invisible sword. (Made those last two up!) My sister balked. And I can't blame her. Really all the management company should have needed was a paystub and her SS# to run a credit check.

"Roxy," she said to me, "I didn't have to give this much paperwork to get a mortgage!"
"I know," was my reply.
"I didn't have to give this much paperwork to buy a car."
"I know."
"I didn't have to give this much paperwork to get government security clearance!"
"I know. It's ridiculous. But this is just the way it is in NYC."

Her main concern was identity theft. Really, you are turning over your life here. For a freakin' apartment. BFF M and her Dad just went through the exact same thing so I had that to use an example. My sister asked me to play hardball so I tried. I told no-fee broker S it was ridiculous! All the management company should need was two things! It was a no-go and he got feisty with me. I went back to sis, who grudgingly agreed to give me her life story. Isn't she great?

I just turned in her paperwork yesterday. Now I am waiting for the management company to call me back with a lease signing date. I have paid the deposit but still need to hand over my first month's rent cashier's check. The next steps will be calling the moving company and packing! Cannot wait for everything to be signed and done.

Woo-hoo! I have my next apartment

2008-11-10T20:58:00.002-05:00

The lease isn't signed yet so I'm still not considering a done deal...but it's pretty much a done deal. S called me today to let me know that the apartment in Tribeca is mine! Let's relive the weekend together, shall we?

On Saturday morning I woke up early and filled out my application. I had to assemble lots of paperwork -- an employment verification letter with annual salary that I'd gotten on Friday; my last two bank statements; my last two paystubs; the first two pages of my last two years' tax returns and a recommendation letter from my landlord. I'd chosen to contact my landlord from CT because I haven't told my management company rep or non-Super that I'm moving out yet. We'll come back to that caveat.

I made copies of everything plus my driver's license and then met up with S at his office. There had been some discussion about maybe offering less than $2400/mo for the apartment. But S recommended that I go in at the full rent price because there were going to be competing offers if I didn't. Reluctantly, I agreed. I had done some more research and found out some additional details about my apartment. Turns out my apartment was the smallest one on the floor. I didn't mind because it was still considerably bigger than my current apartment and the size probably accounted for the lower price. I also found out that my closets are slightly smaller but again it was a quibble. If I lost out on this apartment the next cheapest one was now sitting at $3000/mo -- way beyond my range -- and there are only 2 apartments left in the building.

Floor plan of an apartment
similar to mine

S and I headed down to the building. I wanted to take some photos of the apartment and he was showing another 1 BR to a couple of potential tenants. When we got to the building the leasing office was locked. Luckily the Super was nice enough to let us in to my future apartment. It was still gorgeous! I snapped a ton of pics that later on I realized were pretty dumb: a closeup of the dishwasher! A closeup of the thermostat! (Programmable!) A closeup of the closets! It was obvious that I was delirious.

Then I had a rare opportunity. S had to take some photos of the penthouse and he let me tag along. It was pretty awesome. The apartment had 3 BRs, 3.5 baths, a fireplace and a private rooftop terrace. The finishes weren't as high-end as I was expecting but it was a very nice penthouse. I was in awe. Someday, I kept telling myself.

The leasing office was still locked when we were done so S told me he would try again on Monday. But of course on Sunday J called me and apologized for his partner not showing the day before. He asked if I could drop off the application...except that S had it and it was his day off. I tried to stay calm. I even did my dishes! But I decided to go down to the building and just do everything again so I knew it was done. Of course S called me as I was leaving the building but I didn't mind. I apologized for bugging him on his day off. J told me I could expect an answer on Thursday of this week.

So you can imagine my surprise when I got the call today! I'd tried applying by myself but they are requiring a guarantor for me because I don't quite make enough. My sister has graciously agreed to co-sign with me again...once she gets back from Italy later this week. In fact I got the call so quickly from the building that I don't have all finances in order quite yet. I had to transfer some cash from my Morgan Stanely money market account and they are being slow as molasses. My rep was great but the company itself has all this bureaucratic shit to get through.

Hopefully by this time next week I will have signed my lease and will just be counting the days until I move. My last remaining hurdle is telling my current place that I'm moving out. My lease expired in August and I have not signed a new one. So I have no ties here. But I hope they don't give me a hard time; especially after the crap I've been dealing with from the neighbors. I'm talking to my management company rep tomorrow. I'm hoping it will go smoothly.

I think I found my next apartment

2008-11-08T15:43:00.002-05:00

I'm almost scared to talk about because it's far from a done deal but I think I've found my next apartment.

I decided not to apply for the apartment on Houston. The more I thought about having only half a closet and a closet bathroom the less I liked it. My cold broke on Thursday but I've still been running a terrible fever. So when I saw an ad for a 1 BR on the Soho/Tribeca border for $2200 in a luxury doorman building I thought I was hallucinating.

I clicked into the ad. 1 BR/$2200 it said, with three closets, a dishwasher and breakfast bar in a rent-stabilized high rise with a gym, laundry and roof deck near the Canal St subway stations. Wha? It sounded like a scam. It was a no-fee listing by a brokerage I've never heard of -- Manhattan Connections.

It was late Thursday when I emailed so I followed up with a call on Friday morning. I had to leave a message but shortly after S (the broker) emailed me to set up a viewing at 5 PM that day. After getting some more details I learned the apartment was really deeper into Tribeca and not so close to Soho. Which made it all the more curious that the rent was so low. Also, the $2200 apartment was gone (sigh) but there was a $2400 1 BR on a higher floor. And I would love to live on a high floor!

We met at Broadway and Leonard. The building was on Worth St. It was a 16-floor high rise built in 2000. The lobby was made to look like a Colorado ski lodge which I of course got a huge kick out of. My no-fee broker S and I met with the leasing agent J. He elaborated more on why the rent was so low. They'd lost a whole bunch of tenants because of the market crash so the management company was offering a limited number of apartments at low rents so they could keep the building fill. Their loss was my gain. They could reset the rents once a day which was why my 1 BR was $200 higher than the other one. This seemed completely unfair to me but whatever. I saw their appointment book and it was full. J showed us the laundry room (huge) and the gym (free!) and the 2nd floor outdoor space. Then we went up to the 13th floor.

As soon as we walked in I was sold. The kitchen was open to the apartment on the right, just next to a coat closet. (A coat closet! I'd forgotten what those look like!) I could not believe how many cabinets there were. The appliances were white which is fine with me as I've grown to hate how hard stainless steel is to keep clean. And there was a dishwasher! It also had a breakfast bar that could easily double as a dining room table. The living room was large with a window three panes large. Across from the kitchen was a linen closet and a nice light bathroom. The bedroom was not huge but you could easily fit a queen-sized bed and a dresser. Did I mention that the apartment had 3 closets???

I knew this had to be my next apartment. "I'll take it!" I said excitedly. J and S exchanged knowing glances and we went back down to the leasing office on the 2nd floor. I got an application and "reserved my spot as 1st in line" and rent amount with a $75 good faith deposit/credit check fee. The apartment was mine! (Provided my application went through OK.) I agreed to have all my paperwork ready today. This morning I woke up early, filled out the application and got everything -- paystubs, tax returns, letter verifying employment, bank statements, the works. S and I took one more tour of the apartment today and now we're just waiting until the leasing office calls us back to submit the application. S has been awesome by the way. Nicest broker ever. Not having to pay him a fee is certainly helping my spirits.

There is so much more to tell but I don't want to jinx myself. I can say that the 1 BRs reset to $2850 today so I feel very lucky that I got in when I did. I have my fingers crossed that everything goes through and I get the apartment! Once I know I will have updates. Until then, I admit I'm a little bit queasy. Please please please let me get this place!

To apply, or to not apply

2008-11-05T22:14:00.004-05:00

I am fighting a miserable cold that has left me sounding like Patty and Selma, but I'll be damned if it's going to keep me from apartment hunting. I should just open every phone call by saying 'hiya hun' followed quickly by that throaty grumble.

Last night I found an awesome ad for a no-fee 1 BR on Thompson St for $2300. It looked really promising -- two windows in each room, a nice but not too large kitchen (couldn't tell if there was a dishwasher), very bright and on a good block.

The ad was through Century 21 and the ad said contact the broker anytime so I did. I emailed her around 9:30 PM and she got back to me right away which I thought was cool. What was not cool at all was when she asked me to meet her at her office. Sigh. Please, I said, I work in Soho, could you please not make me come up to midtown only to go right back down? Company policy, she replied. So I confirmed with her in fucking midtown only because the apartment looked really promising. Through some creative research I found another broker listing the same apartment so I contacted him too. I figured if he agreed to meet me at the apartment I would just cancel on Century 21 and their bureaucracy.

This morning I hadn't heard back from Broker B so I grudgingly went to midtown to meet up with Broker A. I must have looked a mess. I had just left my doctor and I was running a bit of a fever. Once at the office they made me fill out your typical broker form. I didn't sign the back -- the part with the fee acceptance disclaimer. Turns out I had emailed with one of the pages and the broker was some dude. I was antsy. The apartment was a good deal and I didn't want to lose out. He wanted to look up other places for me...I said look I don't mean to be rude but I only care about this one apartment so could we just go? He started telling me about how his company gets 180 new listings each day...I cut him off and said so does everyone else, you're all looking at the same database and I'm not impressed. I'm not trying to deny you your living, I told him, but I won't pay a fee and I just want to see the apartment on Thompson already!

Oh, he said, that apartment is no longer in the database, he said. I slumped in my chair. Great. I was sweaty, feverish and had just wasted 45 minutes. Thanks Century 21!

I took a cab home and pouted. On Monday night I'd found a similar deal on Sullivan (dangerously close to work!) but when I showed up for the viewing the tenant told me she'd gotten word that her place had been rented. Dammit! And now dammit again! I worked for awhile when Broker B got back to me. Yes, the apartment was still available he said, and he would meet me there at 1. Really? Yes, really.

His company had swung an exclusive listing on the place. A-ha. So that was why it disappeared from the database. It was pretty cute. The entryway was a long hall with the bedroom off of it. It was a tiny bedroom, about 10x10. Big enough for a bed and a dresser and not much else. The kitchen was in the center of the apartment (no dishwasher) with the living room at the other end. The living room and bedroom were about the same size. The bathroom was nice and the apartment had plenty of light. But it wasn't quite the wow I was hoping for. The broker mentioned that he had another no-fee apartment around the corner on Houston.

The Houston apartment was much better. It was also a 1 BR. You entered into the kitchen, which was eat-in! With a dishwasher! The living room was off to the right. It was larger than the last place with cool ceiling molding. The bedroom completed the railroad style apartment. It was tiny like the last one and had noticeable open spaces between the floor and the baseboard. That made me kind of wary. But otherwise I loved it. So I started detail searching. The bedroom floor was pitched a little bit. That was workable -- honestly many of the apartments in Soho seem to have this issue. But where was the bathroom? Turns out it was in this closet-sized room in the middle of the apartment. It had a shower stall which kinda sucked. But otherwise it seemed OK. My nose was not working so I couldn't sniff for mold. The other issue was the closet -- there was a pantry style closet in the kitchen but only one other closet in the apartment. And it was tiny.

I told the broker I would apply and I left there planning to. I was going to ask for lower rent but I mostly loved the place. With my pub table in the kitchen and a separate bedroom it would feel like so much more space. But I knew I needed a reality check. I called T.

"Well," T said. "List the pros and cons." OK. Pros: separate bedroom. Eat-in kitchen. DISHWASHER!! Southern Exposure. Not first floor. Only one shared wall. Pre-war building. Close to work. High ceilings. Cons: Tiny closet. Tiny bathroom. Older appliances, etc. than my current apartment. On busy street. Windows had condensation on them (heat escaping? not very promising).

"Sounds like more pros than cons," T said. "But...tiny closet? Like how tiny we talking here?" I told him -- about half the size of my current apartment. He pointed out that I was already hurting for storage in my current place. And now I would half my storage? Yeah. He was right. That was almost a deal-breaker. And he didn't sound thrilled about the tiny bathroom. I think that is partly because he has literally been burned by my current bathroom. When guys, uh, use my bathroom they have to stand against a steam pipe to get enough distance. In the winter that can be pretty tricky.

So now I am less sure. I think I will keep searching and make up my mind tomorrow. Hopefully no one steals this one out form under me before then.

The lamest apartment scams I have fallen for

2008-11-03T21:31:00.002-05:00

I am kind of naïve and known among my friends for being pretty gullible. I know and own this part of myself. So it's no surprise that I have fallen for (probably) more than my fair share of fake apartment ads. Addresses that don't exist; rents that are too good to be true; spurned lovers listing their partners' apartments. I feel like I have fallen for them all. Here are some of my greatest hits.

You can live in my apartment for 6 months if you'll feed my exotic fish.
I know; I know, just reading the summary is enough to make 99% of people say no fucking way. But during my first NYC apartment search a $1700/mo 2 BR sublet in Union Square sounded awesome. I wasn't afraid to feed a few fish. Whatever. The ad had what looked like legit apartment pics that struck just the right tone between luxurious and not attached to the furnishings. Sure enough though, when I responded to the ad the email I got in return was spam. I ended up having to ditch that email address. Which brings up a good tip -- always use a secondary email address when responding to apartment ads. You never know when some kook is going to find you or vice versa.

Please call me at 6 AM about this apartment before I go on a business trip.
Oh yeah, this was a good one. At the time I was commuting into the city from Connecticut and you bet your ass I was up at 6 AM every day. This ad was for a $1550/mo studio on the UES that included backyard space and a dishwasher -- dishwasher of course meaning WANT. So sure enough I called a little after 6 AM. And I went straight to voicemail, a message which said, "I am sorry to inform you that this is not a real apartment...my bitch of an ex-girlfriend thought this would be a funny way to get vengeance." I guess a lot of people must have called early.

The apartment is at the corner of Spring & Prince.
This one is another doozy and it actually has a bit of a personal backstory. Back in college 93.3 FM in Denver had an April Fool's Day prank where U2 was playing some 'secret' show in a warehouse on the corner of 2 roads that didn't cross. Ya know, where the streets have no name and all that. Thanks to the intervention of my friend J I didn't fall for it (I told you I am gullible) but two of my friends were definitely driving around trying to figure out where Colfax and Alameda crossed. Except that they don't. Add this to the list of reasons why KCSU is 100 times better.

But back to NYC, Soho is harder to get a bearing on than the grid because everything is a street name. There aren't really avenues. So when I first started my 2nd apartment hunt I fell for a scam where I was told to meet the faux-broker at a corner that wasn't real. "Meet me at the corner of Spring & Prince at 11 AM," he said. Too bad Spring and Prince never cross. I could have just looked at a map before going down but no I thought I was the idiot. I called the faux broker's number and he kept telling me I was only a block or two away. I fell for this twice before finally realizing just how dumb I was. I'm sure the guy and some friends were in a coffee shop laughing at me. Hope they get run over by a parked car.

You can live here rent free if you clean up the apartment for me.
I didn't fall for this one but a friend did. She was looking for a roomie situation and found an ad where some banker dude was offering free rent in exchange for maid services. She actually met with him and found out what was involved -- sorting and doing his laundry, cleaning up after dinner every night, dusting at least 2x a week and passing the white glove test, etc. Bullshit stuff nobody should put up with. Sadly none of that was super off-putting to my friend. What finally drove her to say no was that she was expected to do it all in a French Maid outfit. Quelle horreur! Sadly I think he was serious.

Finally have a feel of where to live

2008-11-02T17:55:00.005-05:00

After close to 2 months of searching, I am finally figuring out where I want to live. Not everyone searching for an NYC apartment has the luxury of time and I am happy to not be in a rush (although with each passing night of almost no sleep due to my neighbors I crack a bit more).

I have gotten to re-know Soho a lot better now that I am working down there. Things came full circle for me on Saturday when I was checking out an apartment and happened to walk by The Bitter End on Bleecker. I used to see shows there all the time and suddenly I rebuilt the mental map I used to have of the area. Most of the shops and bars I used to hit are long closed but it's great that some are still around. After that I didn't have to check my map for subways -- I knew where I was.

So in Soho I've figured out that my block of choice is Sullivan between Spring and Prince. Close to work, close to shopping, close to several subway lines. If I could afford it I'd love to live on Greene or Mercer or Crosby but those all seem to be the most expensive rentals (and one Nigeran scam that I replied to. Oops.). In Nolita Mott and Elizabeth seem to be the blocks of choice. That area is closer to the 6 train but further from work. I've also expanded a bit to include the West Village up to West 4th St. I realized that area is convenient to work, close to Union Square and that's where Washington Square Park is! With NYU close by I'm a bit wary but willing to consider it.

Washington Square Park

I saw about 10 apartments this week. Most were by-owner and the rest were broker no-fees. The good news is rents are definitely starting to come down. Everything I saw this week except for the bait and switch apartments was negotiable. In some cases the owner came right out and said it was negotiable and other times I had to ask. In two cases I saw apartments being shown by current tenants. Both were in the financial industry and had just lost their jobs. You can tell landlords are starting to get nervous. The credit standards are tougher and they want long-term commitments.

The best apartments I saw were a cute 1 BR on Thompson and a lovely studio on West 4th St. The 1 BR was one of the fired financial industry tenants. She was very nice and kindly allowed me to view the apartment one night after work. It had an old old kitchenette and an old bathroom with a shower stall (no tub) but was otherwise lovely. Exposed brick walls, built-in shelving and a bedroom large enough for a full-sized bed plus a small dresser. In total it was about the size of my current apartment. I've given up on finding a large apartment. At this point 350 sq. feet is my goal. If you want more you will pay out the nose for it. That apartment was $2300/mo but has since dropped to $2150/month. I feel that $2150/mo is pretty fair.

The West 4th St studio had a kitchen and two closets to die for. The kitchen was redone last year with Bosch appliances including a dishwasher and a built-in microwave/stove/oven combination thingy. The counter backsplash was cool glass tile. The closets were both California Closet-style and there was even a tiny balcony with a view of the Washington Square Park arch. But it was a bit smaller than what I currently have. The closets were not enough to overcome this so I passed. It was $2400/mo.

The worst apartments I saw were: a 1 BR on the Upper East Side (I had a weak moment) where the bathroom was in the bedroom and even though it was on the 4th floor every window had bars on it, creating a dark dank feel and a 1 BR on Mott St that had a bathroom that reeked of mold. I couldn't see any but I knew it had either been there or was growing in. No windows, no ventilation, no thanks. It was $2295/mo. I also saw a two-room studio on West 3rd whose only window faced another building 2 feet away and whose kitchen ran the entire wall of a narrow living area. There was no room for anything else really. It was $2300/mo.

I am going to see 3 more apartments tomorrow. I still haven't figured out how to get my finances in order in time but I am so ready to move. I can't wait to find a place!

Metapost: Tips for people who just got mugged

2008-11-01T06:11:00.001-04:00

Via Craigslist. It's scary out there kids. Gentrify at your own risk.

Plea for a good night's sleep

2008-11-01T05:23:00.003-04:00

I realize that people live different kinds of lifestyles. Some of us -- like my friend J -- are early risers who enjoy being up with the sun and go to bed early to get a good start on the next day. Some of us -- like my friend P -- are night owls who hit the hay as the sun comes up and then wake up ready to do it all over again.

I fall somewhere between. I like to stay up into the wee hours of the morning but I don't really like to sleep too late either. I'd classify this lifestyle as New York normative. Unfortunately for me I've been suffering from a severe lack of sleep lately due to my neighbors. Not only is my upstairs neighbor still tyrannizing me; now my next door neighbor has joined in on the act. I just can't believe how little they seem to care about anyone but themselves.

There is this John Stuart Mill quote running on MTA ads in the subway right now from "On Liberty," which is one of the most interesting books I've ever read. I can't remember the quote verbatim. So to paraphrase it says that each person should do what's best for themselves because you can't please everyone; however you can't be so selfish as to harm other people. Maybe it's silly but I wish my neighbors next door and upstairs would read this and find it self-applicable.

My run-ins with my upstairs neighbor are pretty well documented. Just...not...pleasant. Finally about 3 weeks ago I snapped. It was 11:30 on like a Tuesday or something and the sound of a rolly toy and the pursuit of it was threatening to send me away in a straight jacket. So I called my management company. The rep is just as exasperated as I am at this point. She told me she'd done everything she could do and said call the cops. So I did. And while the cops said they couldn't give her a ticket they agreed to talk to her. The cops also said I was not the first one to complain about the neighbor...yet they couldn't write her a ticket. They warned me it could make the situation worse. Well that hasn't happened because it could not possibly get any worse! I got one peaceful night of sleep and since then it's been all noise all the time. Nearly 24/7.

I mean, look, I get it. Some peeps are up at 4 AM every morning. I don't care and believe that each person should be able to do as they please. But there needs to be some semblance of courtesy. Maybe not stomping around in heels at that hour? Maybe not playing music really loud at that hour? Maybe thinking beyond yourself a bit?

My next door neighbor is like a middle schooler. She comes home every night from work and proceeds to get on the phone for 5-6 hours a night. I only know this because she yells into her phone so loudly that my wall occasionally vibrates from it. No joke. My friends call her Loudy McBitchy OMG. The best part is that she has the same conversation 2 or 3 times a night with different people (or maybe the same one? I'm not really sure). And I don't want to be sure! In fact I don't want to hear about the guy she is supposedly dating that never calls her or her jerky boss and coworkers. I just. Want. Quiet. For awhile I dealt with it by just putting my headphones on every night but lately it's been so loud that I can hear it even with my music turned 3/4 of the way up. Sometimes I turn up my stereo all the way to drown it out and I can still hear her over it. It's depressing. Her other trick is having friends over at 3 AM and then playing "who can shout the loudest." Usually this is accompanied by crappy pop music.

I just don't know what to do anymore. My quality of life is so negatively impacted. Here I am being selfish now -- I would really like to be able to sleep from 11 AM to 8 AM in peace. This is the one part of NYC living that I hate. This is why I am willing to go into debt to move. The search for peace sends me looking for a new home.

The good ol' bait and switch

2008-10-29T19:53:00.005-04:00

Fool me once, shame on you. Fool me twice...still shame on you! Every time I think to myself "Oh, this broker sounds kinda nice, maybe she/he won't try to fuck me" someone should come out of the woodwork and smack me upside the head. Because 100% of the time a broker will give you a bum deal.

One thing I've noticed going through the by-owner apartment rental section on Craigslist is that there's a surprising number of broker listings in there. AKA miscategorized. And no matter how often I flag them (and I'm sure I'm not the only one flagging them) they never seem to get removed. The end result being that probably about 1/3 of the listings I contact are actually broker's fee listings cleverly disguised as by owner listings.

So earlier today when I saw two no-fee listings in the by-owner section I should have known better than to respond. I must be masochistic though because respond I did. One was a $2195/1 BR and one was a $2295/1 BR. Both listed by the same broker. I spoke with him soon after and got the details.

I should have known the bait and switch was coming when his first questions to me were "How do you feel about a basement apartment? How about a 6th floor walkup?" Ugh. I rejected the basement but said I was willing to consider the 6th floor. No one above me sounds great right about now (right, crazy loud upstairs neighbor?). Then I got the usual rundown -- what are you looking for (1 BR preferably), how much (up to $2500 but the closer to $2000 the better), and when are you looking to move in (oh ya know, whenever). Then he asked about broker's fees and I know I clearly said "I am not willing to pay a broker's fee. Of any kind."

Suddenly the apartments that I called about were no longer options. Instead the broker wanted to show me 2 1 BRs he had. One on Sullivan in between Spring and Broome, one on Mott between Prince and Houston. Both areas I am down with so I said OK. I made two mistakes: I didn't ask how much either was and I didn't ask how much security was expected on either. This was very dumb on my part. Because the broker may as well have said "Pay attention to my hands. Notice there is nothing up my sleeve. Yet in the next hour we shall go from no fee to a 15% of the annual fee! Moohoohahahahaha...."

The pledge: I met him at the Sullivan apartment. He gave me the actual address (and bragged about it, as though he had to proove that he was human and not broker scum). It was really, really close to work. As in I could see my work's windows from the front of the apartment building. It didn't really bother me too much. I was more worried about the location -- the building was on the end of Sullivan right against the Avenue of the Americas. Street noise would be an issue. One of the tenants came out to put out some garbage so I asked him about the building. He had nothing but good things to say which was nice.

The broker came up shortly after and seemed nice enough. Not smarmy. He took me inside to a 2nd floor 1 BR. It was cute. It was a gut renovation and had a washer/dryer in the kitchen. A year ago I would have shit my pants at the washer/dryer. But now I'm kinda like 'damn that is taking up valuable real estate in this apartment.' The kitchen did have a dishwasher which made me drool. The layout wasn't too bad. You walked in to the living room with the kitchen and the bathroom off to the right. The bathroom was a nice size and had a full tub and a cool sink. To the left was the bedroom. The bedroom was OK. My bed and maybe a small dresser would have fit. But the closet space was disappointing. Smaller than what I have now and only one closet in the apartment. I wasn't sold.

I asked the rent and found it was $2350/mo (ahem, notice how this is already $50/mo more than the most expensive apartment I had called about?). I balked and the broker said he wanted to help me out by negotiating a rate I was happy with, like $2200/mo. Well, that's a bit better. Then he mentioned broker's fee something-something and I must have made such a look of sheer horror that he suggested we move on to the next place.

The turn: On the way from Sullivan to Mott the broker started talking about how long he's had a relationship with the owners and blah blah he tries to sign long term tenants yadda yadda so he doesn't earn very much money in fees sob sob so he works very hard to earn his fee. I wanted to say "by doing what, opening a fucking door or two?" but instead I replied, "Well, if there's one thing I can say it's that I have been looking for a couple of months now and I've noticed that owners and brokers alike have already become more flexible in their demands because of the market downturn." I was pretty proud of myself. He retorted that his apartments never stay on the market very long so he wouldn't have to do that, but I just shot him a skeptical look and dropped it. He spent the rest of the time talking about how quickly the apartments would rent and how if I wasn't ready to move rightthissecond I should just not move at all. Whatever, dude. Is that broker code for don't waste my time? Because if it is, go fuck yourself. If I spend 1 hour with you, that means you cost $66/minute if I pay your frickin fee. That's more than any phone wench I know of.

The prestige: The apartment on Mott was actually on the corner of Houston which again meant road noise. While the Sullivan building was probably 15 units or less, this was an elevator/walkup hybrid with probably closer to 30. The apartment was on the 5th floor and we took this weird little elevator up. It was kind of cool, kind of claustrophobic in there. As the broker opened the door to the apartment he told me they were going to list this apartment for $2395/mo but again he was willing to negotiate...the rent but not his 15% of the annual rent fee. Whoa, what?? How did we get to that amount of fee from no broker's fee. He said he had to go check out another apartment so he left me alone to walk around.

I immediately texted T for advice. No reply. I walked around the apartment. Like Sullivan St it was gut renovated and had a washer/dryer in the kitchen. The layout was slightly better with two closets but they were single door and would still be less closet space then I have now. The bathroom was nice with the same sink as Sullivan St. There were no windows in the living area which was weird. The bedroom had two windows and the top portion of the wall was actually a window to let light filter into the living area. Still, no windows in the living area was kind of weird. It was a reminder that I had neighbors on both sides plus above and below.

I did some quick calculations in my head. Let's say this was a by-owner apartment going for $2200/mo. If the owner required a 2-month security that would mean $4400 inaccessible to me for the entire time I lived there but theoretically coming back to me when I moved out. If the apartment required a 1-month security deposit plus a 15% broker's fee for a 1-year lease that would add up to $6160, $3960 of which would go to the broker. No fucking way. Negotiation ahoy!

I started talking money with the broker. We talked about getting the rent down from $2395/mo and his fee. I told him that I wasn't really comfortable paying more than one month as a fee as an opening point. The grimace on his face was palpable and I couldn't help but smirk. Since he had blindsided me with the broker's fee I blindsided with him with some news of my own: my deposit money wouldn't be available to me until November 15. At that point he totally cut off the deal. Which was actually OK with me. Neither apartment was The One. They were decent but far from perfect and while $2200/mo would have been OK, I honestly felt they were overpriced.

He uncerimoniously dismissed me from the apartment at that point (no handshake or anything, jerk). I walked down the stairs, not wanting to get stuck in the elevator. I saw a reply text from T -- "Get the fuck out of there now. Bad deal." Amen. I will be interested to see if these apartments do in fact rent right away or if they sit on the market for a bit. Seems like everything else is sitting tight, just waiting for a renter.

Timing is everything and procrastination is key

2008-10-27T21:12:00.003-04:00

OK hounds, go find me the perfect apartment!

Timing is the thing that frazzles me the most about Manhattan apartment hunting. I am of two minds when it comes to timing: some things I wait until the last second on, like when I was a journalist I just couldn't write a story until there were only a couple of hours before deadline; some things -- like moving -- I like to take my time with and plan out every last detail. I start prepping 2 or 3 months in advance.

Apartment hunting is tilted towards the procrastinator in NYC. Really, you shouldn't start hunting until 15 days before you want to move. Which is ridiculous to me! Who can plan a move in 15 days?!?? (Probably more like 13 once you sign the lease and all that stuff.) Find movers, get boxes, pack, in less than two weeks? Just the idea kills me. Imagine if your lease was up November 1 and you didn't start looking until October 15. It would freak me out. What if you don't find a place? I really think this pattern tilts in broker and management company's favors. Just another factor that leads renters to accept less than awesome for their apartment. At some point it becomes a matter of finding anyplace rather than THE place.

For the majority of apartments you really cannot expect a lead time of more than 21 days at most. If you're not planning to move until Dec. 1 it's way too early for you to be looking. All you can do is get an idea of what is available in your price range. The longer an apartment stays vacant the more money the owner loses, so the excuse you'll get is that someone else will come along who can move in sooner.

Slowly though, the glut is starting to appear and maybe the scales are tipping in the renter's favor. A few apartments I've seen but passed on have sat on the market for close to a month and the price is dropping. In fact, I'm pretty sure the cute 1 BR I saw on Sullivan St just dropped from $2495/mo to $2295/mo (still a bit too much in my opinion, but getting closer!). I'm also starting to notice more lead time in the ads. Apartments that won't be free until Dec. 1 or even Jan. 1 are starting to pop up slowly but surely.

I'm not really sure how much negotiation latitude this opens up just yet. This past weekend, management reps and brokers without fees were still rejecting my requests for a free month of rent. But some of them have started to say things like 'I think we could negotiate them down a little bit on the rent.' That kind of leverage has been missing for far too long and I look forward to its return. $100 or $200/mo off the rent may not seem like a lot but that's up to $2400 a year. That's like 2000 Wendy's double stacks. (I just had one this weekend, and man they are tiny in NYC! Way smaller than I remember them being in Connecticut. My stomach is still thanking me today.)

Halloween...of superheroes!

2008-10-26T16:39:00.004-04:00

As a kid, I honestly only remember trick or treating once or twice. I definitely remember wearing the same pink panther costume until I was like 10 but that was just to school. Once year I was a poodle skirt 50's gal. And then in college I was always a sexy devil. Boring old me. Last year I was Pebbles from the Flinstones. That was pretty fun. I was also very sick as I remember. That was not so fun.

So I was pretty damn excited when T asked me to be his date to a Halloween party up in Connecticut this weekend. The theme is superheroes and villains which totally means that I get to extend the Summer of Superheroes a bit longer! (I am not letting go of it. Maybe ever.) I have met the couple friends throwing the party before and they are very cool. The wife is an art dealer and the husband used to work for Marvel comics. Now he works on graphic novels I think.

When T called, he said I was the first of his "many, many girlfriends" that he thought of because I am a nerd. And it's true. I know a surprising amount of trivia for someone who has never read a comic book. My first question was naturally, "Well, do we have to go as characters from the Marvel world? Or can we branch out to DC too?" T just laughed and I know he was rolling his eyes at me. "Roxy, you're killing me," he said. But he still wanted my ideas. His criteria was that he didn't want to look dumb. My criteria was that damn I don't know how I feel about spandex. I was trying to think of costumes that wouldn't require too much. I gave up on that quickly. I can't think of a single female character that wouldn't need leggings or something skintight.

He offered him as Magneto and me as Mystique, which would have gotten a slap had he been here in person. I countered with him as the Scarecrow and me with a bat to fix his straw stuffing. He challenged me to come up with something better. He retorted was him as Mr. Fantastic and me as the Invisible Woman, which I have to give him props for. Quick-witted bastard, that one!

Here's what I came up with: him as Venom (he rejected Spidey as too emo) and me as Black Cat. Him as Daredevil and me as Elektra. Him as Captain America and me as Wonder Woman. Him as the Joker and me as Harley Quinn. Him as Batman and me as Catwoman. Him as one of the Ninja Turtles and me as April O'Neill! Him as Cyclops and me as Jean Grey (I thought this one would be kinda cool -- he could do the Cyclops version from the X-Men movies and just wear red-tinted sunglasses with a leather jacket. Alas, he said no.)

I think we have finally settled on him as Gambit and me as Rogue. It was easy for T. He has a long trench that will work great. Then all we needed was a Under Armor top and some baggy jeans. I got him a bandana in case he wants to one and we tied rope on a broom to look like a bo staff. We even found these cool light up cards he can use if we wants to be fully propped. He's currently working on his Nawlins French accent. It's gonna be really tough for me. I have no clue how to pull of that green and gold number Rogue wears. And I'll need a wig. I have the tiny jacket and gloves though. The chances of me successfully pulling off a southern accent are slim. I am excited to see what everyone else does.

Dear Roxy, tell me about living in NYC

2008-10-25T19:06:00.004-04:00

I've been getting a lot of questions from friends, friends of friends and the like about moving down here lately. So I thought I'd compile the recent ones into a post. This time around, questions about how much you need to make, where to get the most space for your money and what a car fanatic should do.

Q -- What's it like living in NYC?
No joke, it's awesome. There is no other city in the world like it. You hear a different accent and language with each person you pass. The food, the shopping and the culture are unmatched. New York may not be as old as the cities in Europe and the East but it's unique in that the immigrants who've landed in America have taken neighborhoods and made them their own. No where else can you feel like you've gotten a taste of China, Italy, Ireland or Russia all in the same day.

That being said it's challenging to live here. A lot of people come to NYC and find out they aren't tough enough to survive here. If you don't know anyone here you will spend the majority of your first year alone. It takes a long time to make friends here. There are people everywhere and even your apartment won't feel like a true escape. If you need quiet or alone time you will not be happy in Manhattan. Everything is very expensive here -- food, rent, utilities, clothes, going out and the like. Your college dorm room will look like a mansion compared to your first NYC apartment. There's a me-first attitude that pervades and it is very grating. You have to learn to rise above and find people with a similar like-water-off-a-duck's-back attitude. Once you make friends it's great. Having someone to live through all those only-in-NY-moments with you makes it all worth it.

The people here are great once you learn the nuances of New Yorkers. But coming from the South or Midwest is often difficult. You will find the people here rude. Life moves ridiculously fast here. Just prepare yourself. You can do it! If you can make it through the first year semi-happy, sane and still stuck on NYC you will be fine. If you're unhappy, I really recommend that you leave. If a you're not happy here after a year you will most likely never be happy here and it's not worth dealing with all the bullshit. Move on. Try Philly or Chicago; cities with a similar pace but a different zeitgeist.

Q -- Should I move to NYC now, or should I wait?
Depends. I advocate moving here now for just about anyone. I say wait if you're under 18, just got married or just had a kid. Moving here is such a huge change and you don't want to be facing more than one life change at a time.

Q -- Are rents coming down?
Not yet. There seem to be two schools of thought on the matter. The first school says that of course rents are going to come down because the people that lose their jobs are going to move out of NYC. The vacancy rate will rise and more apartments will be available leading to lower rents. The second school of thought is that some of the people who bought apartments will be forced to sell. Then they'll rent instead. That would actually make the rental market even more competitive than it is.

My personal guess is that in 6 months the rental market will have to start correcting. Regardless of the number of people renting, sales prices are starting to drop and if they drop below rental rates people will just start buying anyway. Also, many of the financial peeps have severance pay that is just starting to run out. They will start making moves now as their cushion is depleted. So however it happens rental rates should come down. Just a guess though.

Q -- Where can I get the most space for my money?
In one of the boroughs for sure. Many parts of Brooklyn are just as expensive as Manhattan these days. And Brooklyn is only convenient to Manhattan below 23rd St. So I'd suggest skipping it for Queens. If you work on the East side Queens is pretty convenient. Long Island City is expensive but Astoria, Woodlawn, Forest Hills and Jackson Heights all have decent-sized apartments for 20-40% less than a Manhattan apartment. Take note that subway trains are kind of iffy on the weekends into Manhattan from Queens. Do your research before you commit to a borough. There's also Long Island or Connecticut though I can't recommend either with a straight face. If you're moving to New York, move to New York!

If you work on the west side, I would consider New Jersey (much as it pains me to say so). The PATH trains are pretty reliable. There's also a ferry. Jersey City and Hoboken are pretty cool little cities and have amazing skyline views. Then again, it's still Jersey.

The Bronx has some nice neighborhoods. Riverdale and Pelham Bay are a couple off the top of my head. If you have a family this is one borough you should look at closely. Make sure to factor in commuting time though. For jobs in midtown or south, count on at least a 45-minute commute.

In Manhattan you may get lucky in the Financial District. But not too lucky -- think 500 sq foot studios; same size for 1 BRs and on from there. Spacious is a relative term in Manhattan.

Q -- What's the minimum annual salary I need to make to live in Manhattan?
In my opinion you need to make at least $50,000/year if you plan on living by yourself. With roommates I think you could slide by at $40,000/year. I know people who do it for less but it's not like they have a ton of spending money.

For one thing, most landlords require that you make at least 40x the rent in annual salary. So if you make $50,000/year you would qualify for monthly rent of up to $1250. I know of ZERO apartments in Manhattan for that price. Really the least I would expect to pay for a studio is $1550. Even if you have a guarantor paying anything more than 60% of your monthly income towards rent is asking for trouble, especially in today's economy. Do you really want to have no disposable income to buy things like clothes, movie tickets, books, drinks or dinner? That doesn't sound like a good way to live.

Think of it this way: making $100,000/year in NYC is like making $50,000/year anywhere else in the country. It's decent but you're by no means rich. There are people who make such ridiculously high salaries here that it's hard for the rest of us to keep up. And the city caters to the rich and not the rest. Them's the facts of life, bitches.

Q -- How much does it cost to move into the city?
If you're coming from the tri-state area expect to spend about $1200-$1700 on the move for a studio apartment worth of crap. If you're coming from east of the Mississippi put it around the $2000-$4000 range just for the movers and the truck. Further west you should budget anywhere from $2500 to $6000 for a studio apartment's worth.

Make sure you research your moving company very carefully. If you're coming from NY/CT/NJ/Mass I highly recommend Gentle Giant Movers. They did my move and two of my friends' moves and they are amazing. Incredibly dependable and honest, though a bit more expensive. Then again I'd rather pay an extra $250 to know that the movers will show up on time and take good care of my stuff. Anyway, out of state moves should be calculated based on weight rather than hourly cost. You should get a fixed bid contract -- you sign and agree to a price before the move. Remember to tip your movers!

Then there are the expenses once you get here. Some of your furniture is going to be too long, wide or just plain big for an NYC apartment. You will need to buy some new stuff adapted for vertical living.

If you plan on using a broker (sigh) to find an apartment expect to spend between $8,500 and $15,000 just to get into an apartment up to $2000/mo. That will cover: your first month's rent, your security deposit of one month, a broker's fee and a credit check or application fee. The broker's fee can range from one month's rent to 20% of the annual rent. Negotiate, negotiate, negotiate.

Q -- Should I live in a doorman building? and Why are doorman buildings so much more expensive?
Growing up, my Aunt lived in a doorman building. It was awesome -- his name was Oscar and he always gave me a piece of Hershey's chocolate when I came to visit. When I started looking for an apartment I thought a doorman was a deal breaker. They help you with groceries, they receive packages for you, they take care of your dry cleaning.

But the truth is a doorman shouldn't be a dealbreaker. True, doormen usually come in elevator buildings so if you want an elevator a doorman might be a byproduct. And it does suck trying to get a package sent to you via the UPS/FedEx/DHL trifecta. So you adjust. You get packages sent to your work. You learn to carry your own groceries or get them delivered. You take care of your own damn dry cleaning.

Doorman buildings are more expensive because the tenants combine to pay the doorman's salary. And you have to tip on top of that. In the end, the costs outweigh the benefits for most youngins.

Q -- I need to have a car. Where should I live?
Really? Really really? Because there's awesome services like Zipcar for when you absolutely have to drive. I heart Zipcar (95% of the time). You really don't need to own a car in Manhattan. And this is coming from a drive-aholic!! In Connecticut and Colorado I would drive just to drive. Gas was a lot cheaper then.

The public transportation in NYC is really good. Sure I bitch about it but it's way better by bus or subway then it would be by car. I can't tell you how many traffic jams I've sat in trying to get from the George Washington Bridge or one of the tunnels to my apartment. Hell, I somtimes take taxis home to the UES from Flatiron and it usually takes about 45 minutes vs. an 18-minute subway ride.

It's hard to park in Manhattan. Just about everything on the street is parallel parking. Parking garages are valet only and it costs about $20 per half hour. So good luck with that. They have weird rules like Alternate Side. Your car is 60% more likely to get broken into than around the rest of the county. Good luck with that too! Oh, and your insurance? Maybe better not to even talk about how high your rates will be.

If you absolutely cannot live without a car, try the Bronx. My car-owning friends say it's the best borough for cars.

On picking a Manhattan neighborhood to live in

2008-10-23T23:02:00.000-04:00

So...you know you're moving to NYC but have no idea which neighborhood to live in. Common tale. My friend D is strongly considering moving here from Dublin and asked me for advice on where to live. Where to even begin? What follows is my personal, non-expert takes on the nabes starting from the north and moving south:

A loose representation
of major NYC nabes.

Morningside Heights
110th St to 125th St, West Side
Examples of landmarks within: Cathedral of St. John the Divine, Grant's Tomb, The Cloisters
Examples of mini-nabes within: Washington Heights
I'm not going to pretend like I know a ton about anything north of 125th St. I have a friend couple that lives up here on 118th st in a generously-sized 2 BR with a child. This area seems to be a mix of Columbia students and young families who needed more room than they could afford further south. As such, the nightlife is pretty thin. There are tons of festivals and street fairs, especially ones aimed towards children. There are lots of parks and communal gardens.

The rent up here tends to be cheaper than downtown but that's because it takes a good 30 minutes to get to midtown. One cool thing: the A line runs express from 125th straight to Columbus Circle. If you live and work on the west side that can be a life-saver.

Washington Heights is the area around the George Washington Bridge. This area contains the highest point in Manhattan, which is where George Washington and his troops camped out during the American Revolutionary War. The area is still gentrifying today. Which is a nice way of saying it's kind of a tough place. As a young single woman I would not want to live up there alone.

Harlem
96th St (East Side) to the northern tip of the Island. 110th St in central Manhattan
Examples of landmarks within: The Apollo, Harlem School of the Arts, El Museo del Barrio
Examples of mini-nabes within: Manhattanville, Spanish Harlem
Spanish Harlem is scary to me after dark, but I love the rest of Harlem. There are tons of beautiful deco buildings up there and I have been to "Showtime at the Apollo" several times. The food is amazing and there are parks a'plenty. The area from 110th St to 125th St on the East Side is probably my favorite. Apartments are cheaper than downtown but they are quickly catching up. The nightlife here is rumored to be great and there are plenty of weekend events.

It is not practical to live on the East side of Harlem if you work on the west side anywhere in Manhattan -- there is only one subway line (the 4/5/6) and the buses are slooooooow. I don't know much about the area west of 5th Ave. There are housing projects in Harlem but overall the neighborhood is pretty safe. Occasionally my friends who live up there have trouble getting a taxi after dark though. The area has a high immigrant population but established couples have been moving up there more recently.

Upper East Side
59th St to 96th St, East Side
Examples of landmarks within: Museum Mile, Bloomingdales, Gracie Mansion
Examples of mini-nabes: Lenox Hill, Yorkville, Carnegie Hill
I'm totally biased since I live here, but the Upper East Side rocks in so many ways. The area has a great mix of shopping (hello, Madison Ave) along with box stores. You're close to multiple parks (Central Park, Carl Schurz Park for example). The architecture is a mix of skyscrapers and brownstones. The 10021 zipcode is home to the richest New Yorkers but you can find OK deals on apartments if you are willing to live in a smaller apartment. Keep in mind that many buildings on this side are post-war which translates to thinner walls and ceilings. This area, along with the Upper West Side, is the safest area in Manhattan.

This area was the hot youngin area about 10 years ago. Now it's a lot of Park Ave mommies, their nannies, and older immigrant populations. Not as many youngins. Long Island & Connecticut transplants tend to end up here. This makes the area somewhat quieter and means the nightlife is pretty tame. With only one subway line (4/5/6) it's quite a crowded morning commute. Not that many people would know -- this is Towncar central.

Upper West Side
59th St to 110th St, West Side
Examples of landmarks within: The Dakota, Lincoln Center, The Time Warner Center
Examples of mini-nabes: ?
The Upper West Side is where most of my friends with children live. It's slightly less expensive to buy here than on the Upper East Side. Plus the buildings are pre-war which theoretically means less noise than in post-war buildings. Like the East Side, there is a mix of skyscrapers and brownstones. Jersey transplants tend to live here.

Brunch is huge on the Upper West Side. There are tons of sidewalk cafés and the shopping is pretty good over here. Uptown has less nightlife than downtown but I have been to quite a few coffee shop events on the UWS. Like on the UES, apartments are small and if you're looking for a deal your best bet is a 5th floor walkup apartment. There are plenty of trains on this side -- the A/C, the B or the 1/2/3. Getting from the UWS to the UES is best accomplished by bus, though in nice weather it's a fun walk across Central Park. This is a fun neighborhood to have your first NYC apartment in.

Midtown East
42nd St to 59th St, East Side
Examples of landmarks within: the Chrysler Building, Grand Central, the United Nations
Examples of mini-nabes: Turtle Bay, Sutton Place, Diamond District
If you're a fan of tall buildings, then Midtown should be your home. Skyscrapers galore. The East Side is home to many financial corporations, the Waldorf Astoria, great shopping on 5th Ave...the list goes on. Unfortunately, this area is pretty dead at night. Happy Hour is great and then everyone just leaves to go home or party elsewhere.

Another side effect of being in the land of sidescrapers are the tourists. If your patience for people standing in the middle of the sidewalk, walking aimlessly, stopping randomly or walking on the wrong side of the sidewalk is short DO NOT live here. Tourists everywhere. This is not a great area to have a dog in, in my opinion. There aren't really any parks. Then again, you do have areas like Tudor City...one of the coolest city secrets. Rent is high in this area (unjustifiably, in my opinion) and the people who do live here are mostly 30-something yuppie professionals who sleep at home and that's it. All the trains come through here on their way from Queens downtown so there are multiple subway lines.

Midtown
42nd St to 59th St, Middle of the Island
Examples of landmarks within: Times Square, Rockefeller Center, Carnegie Hall
Examples of mini-nabes: Theatre District
You know how they call New York the City that Never Sleeps? This is the area they were talking about when they said that. I have a friend who works at 4 Times Square and I cannot take visiting his office. Even 30 floors up the lights are incredibly immersive. You just can't look away. Do people actually live in Midtown? I have my doubts. There are tons of hotels and office buildings here. It's full of tourist traps and shopping but I can't imagine trying to sleep there.

This area is full of landmarks but only one park I know of -- Bryant Park. Not a lot of green grass. Many TV studios are here. The very northern tip butts against Central Park. This area is filled with luxury residences. If you're very very very rich you could live there. For the rest of us, it's elsewhere that we call home.

Hell's Kitchen (aka Clinton)
42nd St to 59th St, West Side
Examples of landmarks within: Intrepid Museum, The Actors Studio
Examples of mini-nabes: ?
The Theatre District kind of runs over into Hell's Kitchen. This area is a lot better than it used to be but can still earn its hard-nosed reputation from time to time. There are plenty of nightclubs and hotspots in this area, plus the Daily Show and the Colbert Report film over here. I spent a great Cinco De Mayo over here.

Living wise, it's kind of a mixed bag. Rent deals can be found but I find this area to be very loud at night. Every time I had a band rehersal in someone's apartment it seemed to be in Clinton. The area seems to filled with actors, dancers, musicians and people who are regularly up until 2 AM. There are lots of warehouse-y type lofts over here but it's a pain to get anywhere because the only subway line is the A/C/E at 8th Ave. If your life is nearby this area could work but if you need to get further out I'd say skip it.

Gramercy/Murray Hill/Kips Bay
14th St to 42nd St, East Side
Examples of landmarks within: The Morgan Library & Museum, Gramercy Park, Stuyvesant Town
Examples of mini-nabes: Stuyvesant Town
Real estate gets expensive the further south you go. Murray Hill and Kips Bay tend to be less expensive than fashionable Gramercy. In Murray Hill there are rent deals east of 3rd Ave but the tradeoff is you get tons of noise from the Midtown Tunnel. Down here most of the apartments are in high rises on the Avenues and Brownstones on the streets.

There are plenty of great restaurants and decent nightlife, especially along 3rd Ave. Gramercy is an expensive neighborhood in transition. Rentals here tend to be in co-ops rather than rental buildings. While I love Gramercy Park, I find the neighborhood to be lacking. Everything is just OK -- the shopping, the apartments, the nightlife. Stuyvesant Town was a well-known rent stabilized development that was bought by Tishman Speyer, who promptly ruined it and drove out the tenants so it could charge ridiculous rents (how's that going, Tish?). The closer to 14th St you get, the more luxury buildings you will find. As with the rest of the East Side, the 4/5/6 is your only real subway option, though there is also the L which runs along 14th St.

Chelsea
14th St to 42nd St, West Side
Examples of landmarks within: The High Line, Madison Square Garden, The Empire State Building
Examples of mini-nabes: The Garment District, Art Gallery District
Chelsea...pretty buildings...pretty hip...pretty expensive. The neighborhood has an incredibly diverse mix of residents and has some amazing nightlife. If you want to party til the wee hours, this may be the neighborhood for you. There's a unique mix of luxury living and cheap apartments that are no bigger than a closet. Your money will not go very far in terms of space in Chelsea. 200 sq feet is about average for a studio.

7th Ave is known as Fashion Ave in the mid-30s to 42nd St with good reason. Plenty of fashion warehouses are here, and there are tons of sample sales. You can do just about anything, from golf to shopping, at Chelsea Piers. The closer you get to 14th St the denser the crowds and the smaller the living space.

Flatiron/Union Square
14th St to 34th St, Middle of the Island
Examples of landmarks within: Union Square Park, One Madison Ave, the Flatiron Building
Examples of mini-nabes: these pretty much are mini-nabes themselves
The rents are high but the neighborhoods are great! Union Square is a fun NYU hangout area with an awesome Green Market and good shopping. Flatiron is kind of a weird neighborhood. 5th and 6th Ave would be fun to live off of but Madison Ave is kind of a dead zone. I have viewed a few apartments in the area but find it odd that there aren't really any grocery stores in Flatiron. Rents are quite high -- you are mostly paying for views of either the Empire State Building or the Chrysler Building. High-rises galore. One of my favorite bars -- 230 5th -- is in Flatiron, and my last job was on 5th Ave at 21st St. My old office was in Union Square and I have a soft spot in my heart for the area. Union Square Park is great and is a hub for subways. The N/R/Q/W, the L, and the 4/5/6 all stop there.

Like Chelsea, the apartments tend to be tiny unless you can afford a luxury residence. You also have to deal with a lot of night noise from the college students out and about. But if you don't want to live in the Village, this area is a nice alternative.

East Village, Greenwich Village and West Village
Houston St. to 14th St
Examples of landmarks within: Washington Square Park, Tompkins Square Park, Cooper Union
Examples of mini-nabes: Meatpacking District, NoHo, Alphabet City
I will never understand the appeal of living in the Village. The area has tons of character and unique buildings but it is always loud and crowded. As such, my knowledge of the area is limited. The Meatpacking District has many fancy restaurants and cobblestone streets. The East Village has NYU students up the wazoo while the West Village has a very liberal reputation. And that's not necessarily a bad thing.

Rents have dropped a bit in the village in the last two years but it is by no means cheap. Everyone I know who has lived in the village has had: 1 - roaches; 2 - mice; or 3 - both. You're more likely to find a garden apartment with a backyard down here but you're also more likely to find a shower in your kitchen. If you want to be in one of the social and cultural epicenters, then you should live in the village. As long as you can take the noise.

Soho & Nolita
Canal St to Houston, Middle of the Island
Examples of landmarks within: ?
Examples of mini-nabes: these are mini-nabes
Soho (South of Houston) and Nolita (North of Little Italy) comprise less than 50 square blocks but they are perhaps the biggest neighborhoods, reputation wise. And I am learning that these reputations are well-earned. Filled with shorter buildings and cobblestone streets, the area is reminiscient of Europe. Some blocks have bars, some blocks have shopping and some are quite cute and quiet. Almost every subway line converges in the area, making trips uptown easier.

Unfortunately, the rents here are ridiculously high. I'm looking in this area for my next apartment and it's been disheartening. You get very little space for the money and many of the buildings are older. It's the classic tradeoff: less space for a great location. The good news is that it's cheaper than Tribeca. The bad news is, that's not saying much. If you are not picky about how your apartment is laid out and if you don't mind living in one tiny room you may have luck. But if you like the shower to be in the bathroom with your toilet and sink...well, it's much more expensive.

Lower East Side
Brooklyn Bridge to Canal St
Examples of landmarks within: Manhattan/Brooklyn Bridges, City Hall, Chatham Square
Examples of mini-nabes: Chinatown, Little Italy
The food is great and the rent is cheaper than any of the surrounding areas. Welcome to the Lower East Side. Little Italy is of course famous for the food, but there is also lots of cheap touristy shopping. Chinatown is the next hot spot in my opinion. It's slowly transitioning to youngins who can't afford the neighborhoods nearby. Travel is relatively easy and you can walk to Soho, the Villages or Union Square.

The area can be dicey late at night but it's mostly safe. Every court you could ever want or need is in the area, and if you get married here you'll make a trip to City Hall for your marriage license. The population is diverse and it can be eerily quiet at night. There are a surprising number of skyscrapers. It's difficult to navigate the area by car, but by bike it's quite fun.

Tribeca
Chambers St to Canal St, West Side
Examples of landmarks within: Woolworth Building, Washington Market Park, PS 234
Examples of mini-nabes: this is a mini-nabe
Tribeca (triangle below Canal St.) is another trendy neighborhood, though its hype is starting to slow. Between this place and Soho you will see many celebrities (though you'd better ignore them, this is NYC after all). This area was very industrial and has been converted into huge, ridiculously expensive living areas. If I'm in the mood for a good laugh I'll cruise Craigslist's apartment listings for the area. It's so expensive it will make a normal person like me cry.

There are a few subway lines -- A/C/E and 1/2/3 -- and slowly the area is starting to get more infrastructure. Groceries and such. The schools down here are famously great. Most people who live down here seem to be rich familes and rock stars. If you're lucky and rich enough to rent down here I am pretty jealous.

Financial District
Tip of the Island to Chambers St/Brooklyn Bridge
Examples of landmarks within: World Trade Center, Wall St, Castle Clinton
Examples of mini-nabes: Battery Park City
Thanks to the market crash, this area will probably see a rise in vacancy. Battery Park is pretty awesome and you get great views of the Statue of Liberty. The buildings down here are all tall skyscrapers wrapped in glass. Construction of the new World Trade Center slowly progresses. Unemployed white collar employees drown their sorrows on Stone St.

I always heard this area was dead at night but I have to disagree. The Whitehall/Stone/Pearl St. area has quite a few bars and during the summer picnic tables line the streets. Even before the crash the rents were lower down here. You get a bit more space for your money but the tradeoff is that it takes a long time to get uptown -- about 30 minutes to midtown. Then again, Century 21 is down here.

If anything in this post is incorrect, please leave a comment and I will update. Again, some of this information is my best guess.

Um, where is the shower?

2008-10-21T23:04:00.003-04:00

I've seen a few more apartments this week. All were pretty interesting in their own way.

I had to go through a broker to see the first one, though it was no-fee. This one was a guy from Halstead. They're pretty reputable as far as real estate firms go in the city. My experience was neutral.

The first place I saw was on Mott. The building had a cute entrance though the first door had no lock on it. It just swung open like any shop door would. Not exactly secure. The apartment was on the 4th floor of the walk-up. I was happy to notice that there was only 1 neighbor on the floor and we would not have any common walls. The broker opened the apartment, which was pretty damn cute. The $2400/mo Jr 1 BR's door opened straight into the kitchen, which separated the living area from the bedroom. It even had a dishwasher! I was bothered by the medium-stained cabinets mixed with black appliances but that's a quibble. We checked out the bathroom, which was decent. It had subway tiles and had been recently renovated, though I was disappointed that there was just a pedestal sink with no storage vanity. Luckily there was enough room to put in a small shelving unit.

Back in the apartment, I took a look at the living area and immediately burst out laughing. It was tiny. It was a long room so I could potentially have an office area and a living area. But what about my bed? "Where's the rest of it?" I asked the broker, ready to leave. He waved me back towards him. A door I thought was the closet was actually a decent-sized bedroom. Because there was no window it couldn't officially be called a bedroom. It easily doubled the size of the apartment (that wasn't saying much though, it was about 250 sq. feet total). Suddenly I was willing to consider it again. The closet was outside the bedroom which was odd. But it was California-closetized which was nice. I took a closer look at the living area and its two large windows. And that's when I saw the view: a cemetary. "Well, at least it will be quiet!" the broker joked. Ha...ha...no. Ignoring the creepy view, the apartment was overpriced in my opinion. $2100/mo would have been more appropriate. So I passed.

Next was a studio at Elizabeth and Houston. This one was in an elevator building. Nice foyer. The apartment was on the 5th floor. It was about 375 sq. feet and had three large windows. The kitchen was kind of older and I noticed the floor was pitched a bit near the walls. But it had two huge closets and a large bathroom with lots of storage. It was pretty appealing at $2300/mo, especially when I saw the fitness center and laundry room in the basement. So I asked about incentives -- a free month to be exact. But the only incentive was no fee. Lame. Then I crossed paths with another girl who had just seen the place. She was turning in an application. I took one as well but wasn't sold on the place.

The broker wanted to show me one more apartment on Mulberry. He dropped me off at a coffee shop to fill out an application for the $2300/mo studio. But I didn't want to fill out the application. The rent was too high. So I grabbed a coffee and told him as much when he returned. He tried to pressure me into filling out the application and I got mad. I told him I wanted to look around more and he finally backed down. The super for the Mulberry apartment wasn't around so we parted ways.

Today I saw an apartment owned by the same company as the best apartment I've seen so far on Sullivan St. In fact the listing said the $1825/mo studio was on the same block and I got really excited. I was also skeptical of what $1825 would yield in Soho, since almost nothing I've seen has been below $2000/mo.

Turns out not much. First of all, the apartment wasn't on Sullivan; it was on Thompson. Secondly it was $1900/mo, not $1825. Third, it was ridiculously tiny. I couldn't even measure it accurately because it was laid out so wonky. It was on the 3rd floor of a walkup with neighbors on either side. I knew it would be tiny but I wasn't prepared for what I saw. The entry was a long hallway that opened into one itty bitty room. On one side of the room was a kitchen with a mini-stove and mini-fridge and two cabinets. The other side was the living/bedroom area, if you could even call it that. Those two areas combined measured about 150 sq. feet. Teeny tiny. I opened what I thought was a closet (again) to find a toilet and sink.

There was a guy viewing the place as the same time as me, and he said, "Um, where's the shower?" My eyes were wide. Where was the shower?? It was in the kitchen of course! I know that isn't unusual in Europe, but, well, this isn't Europe. This is the 2nd apartment I've seen like this. All I could do was laugh. Then the woman showing the apartment shushed me! "Don't influence him, maybe he likes it," she said. He just winked at me. I think like is far too generous a word.

Retail therapy? Or retail will land me in therapy

2008-10-18T17:34:00.007-04:00

I'm kind of strapped for cash right now and it's totally my own fault. I had used my credit cards a lot in the past 3 months thinking I would be getting a Christmas bonus (haha). But since I just started a new job I'm not eligible for their bonus program this year. And though I am making a much higher salary now...well...I dug the hole much deeper than I should have. I was lucky enough to get several job offers, yet the stress of the search made me more of a shopaholic than usual.

So if I want to move I need an infusion of capital. With the holidays coming up I decided my best bet was to get a retail job after work and on the weekends. Anything to keep me from spending money. Back in high school I worked at J. Crew during the holidays and enjoyed it.

During our great dinner on Thursday night this was the only thing T was critical of. "Roxy, remember when you worked two full-time jobs right after you graduated from college? That was pretty miserable. And weren't you just working a lot of overtime at your last job?" he asked. "Well, yes. But at my last job I didn't get paid for the overtime. Now I will get paid for these hours."

T remained dubious. "You're like the villain in a Bond movie. You come up with these elaborate, dramatic plans but have you considered the reality?" He ticked off things I would miss out...my TV shows (meh, I'm not really watching TV so much these days anymore anyway), meeting up with friends (hopefully we could coordinate social butterflies to days off) and our faux romantic dinners (temporary hiatus?). I was admittedly being stubborn. "An extra $200 or $300 a week could make a big difference," I said. Besides, I think it would be fun. I really enjoyed putting together outfits for people and helping people pick out clothing for themselves or as gifts. It gave me a sense of satisfaction.

It's been a really long time since I worked retail. I started going around to places a couple of weeks ago. After some consideration I decided working near day job would be easiest. So I went to the J. Crew in Soho first. I thought that having previously worked there would give me a leg up. But all they had me do was fill out an application and then they told me someone would be in touch. It was really disappointing. They didn't do an on-spot interview or anything. And I looked really sharp! BFF M worked there a couple of years back and told me that they were really stringent with their hiring in the city. I just sighed.

I spent most of a Saturday walking around and applying to a few other places -- Crate & Barrel, Bloomingdales, Steve Madden. All places where I knew the products. But again, all the places did was take my application and say someone would be in touch. It was pretty disheartening!

This week I went to Anthropologie and had a much better experience. I went during their open hire time on Thursday in their Soho store. After I filled out the application I met with a manager for a quick interview. It seemed to go well and I made it to part 2, which was filling out an online survey. The manager said it would be a couple of weeks before I hear back. I'm keeping my fingers crossed.

Yesterday an envelope came from J. Crew. I knew it was bad -- very thin. It was like college application time all over again! I opened it to find a form rejection letter. On the one hand, at least they took the time to tell me no. On the other hand, the letter said "we could not find a match for your skillset." Oh man. Talk about a slap in the face! They never even talked to me. And my day job is all about dealing with people! Yet for whatever reason I guess I am no longer J. Crew employee material. I guess they haven't looked in my closet lately.

Hugs all around

2008-10-17T10:46:00.001-04:00

When I was in college I worked at the university's radio station. We were a pretty tight knit group, especially my freshman and sophomore years. Every time we came or went, we'd give each other hugs. I have forgotten a surprising amount of things from college (scary since it was not at all long ago) but that has always stuck out in my head. It was like that Dave Matthews Band video. Hugs for everyone. I miss it.

Maybe a bit more now because I'm feeling a bit under-hugged. My grand online dating experiment over the summer was a total failure...though I do have some awesome party stories now. I am a spoiled brat who wants to live in Soho but probably can't afford it. It's making me a bit grumpy. Life has felt mostly great but maybe a bit unfair lately. Being strong and tough and independent all the time gets tiring occasionally and right now I am friggin' exhausted. I would like to be in Hawaii on the beach. Not an option though.

So it's time for a call out to my sometimes on but mostly off-again man T, who is somehow always there for me. My faux romantic date. I always call him at the most in-opportune times and this week I somehow managed to hit him while he was on a man-cation with some buds. Have I ever mentioned what a lucky bastard T is? He's a former finance guy who retired at like 30 and along with 5 friends was an occasional house-flipper during the boom. Now I'm not even sure what he does. Travels a lot. Bartends on occasion. When we saw "The Dark Knight" together, I pointed at him during the scene when the Joker burns the hugemongous pile of cash and said, "That's you." His retort? "Too much makeup. And the hair is too long. That's got to be you." A guy after my own heart.

Man-cation ended yesterday. T called me from LaGuardia and offered to come over for faux romantic dinner. We went to JG Melon (they make the best burgers in NYC). He told me about his trip but I think he knew something was wrong because he gave the super abridged version. He turned the conversation over to me, and I just unloaded. Weeks of frustration I hadn't even realized I had came pouring out -- everything from changing jobs to running my credit cards back up to wanting to move to fear about the economy. I felt terrible immediately afterward; he'd just come back from a vacation and here I was dumping my shit all over him. But ever the sage, T listened patiently and offered a mix of support and advice. It all boiled down to "this too shall pass."

But the best part came this morning as he was leaving. He gave me a big bear hug -- the kind where you get enveloped in arms and pulled into chest so hard that you can barely breathe. All I could do was inhale the light mix of cologne and soap. It was the most comforting minute I've had in weeks. If this is what love is like, I could take it small doses.

The highs and lows of apartment hunting in NYC

2008-10-16T20:09:00.010-04:00

I have been checking out apartments for a couple of weeks now, and until today nothing in Soho or Nolita had impressed me. That's both good and bad -- good because I haven't saved up all the necessary pennies yet and bad because, well, who wants to see a bunch of lousy apartments?

My not-broker from Mark David dumped me on Tuesday. She called me over the weekend about two apartments (one of which was in Chinatown and one of which was in Financial District. For those scoring at home, NEITHER of those are in the neighborhoods I want to live in). I told her not to make me her first priority since I don't want to pay a broker's fee. On Monday she called me about two more apartments. One was again out of the question but she hit me with one that was in Soho so I asked to set up a viewing after work. I wrote her around 11 AM, and at 2 she replied to say she was booked for the day. I guess she took my advice about prioritizing a little too seriously. Then on Tuesday I get this nice cryptic email from her...

Building owners offer to pay our fee when they are having trouble getting their apartments rented (because they stink). When you can’t find a no-fee apartment that you love, let me know and we’ll find you one that you do - and we can negotiate a fee that you feel comfortable with.

Unless that fee is $0, there is no negotiation to hold. I can understand her not wanting to spend time on a renter who isn't willing to pay a fee. But it was unnecessary to instill doubt. Because of course I started thinking, damn what if she's right? What if all the by-owner apartments are shit holes that they can't rent?

The Gods of renting must have taken pity on me because today I saw a beautiful apartment. It was in the by-owner listings of Craiglist, a $2495/1BR in Soho on Sullivan St in between Prince and Houston.

1 Bedroom, GORGEOUS BRAND NEW RENOVATION, Brick Walls, Hard Wood floors, High ceilings, Huge bedroom, LOTS OF LIGHT, skylight and good closets. Located in heart of SOHO by BEAUTIFUL PRINCE STREET near all shopping, restaurants and transportation/trains: B,C,D,F,V,1,9. OPEN HOUSE Thursday, October 16th, 12-1p.m. by appointment: xxx-xxx-xxxx. no brokers please.

I called the number and scheduled a viewing. The ad was a bit off -- viewings between 11 AM and noon, not noon to 1. But whatever. I met a management company rep at Once Upon a Tart on Sullivan. I have to admit I was trying to avoid Thompson and Sullivan because they are a little too close to work for comfort. But the street was so charming! The area reminds me very much of Europe, with short walkups and lots of little cafés. She was late so I had plenty of time to guess which building the apartment was in.

I was wrong about which building it was in, but no matter. She took me up the block a bit to a 5-story walkup. I've gotten over the walkup thing. I want to live on a high floor and my friends barely ever come over anyway. Plus it's exercise. This rep really knew her shit about the building and the neighborhood. (Again, for those scoring at home, this is a big deal!) I gasped excitedly when she told me the building was co-op. I know that could raise some issues because the boards are very strict, but I was excited because that meant I was so much likely to have a crazy, loud neighbor upstairs like I currently do.

Approximate layout
of the apartment.

Once on the 5th floor, she opened the apartment. What a charmer! You walked in and immediately stepped up to a small kitchen/living area. The kitchen was just a small corner outside the bathroom but that is fine with me. Somehow it had more cabinets than I currently have anyway. (Though I have no idea where my cool Ikea Kroken wall rails and Järpen shelves with Håll brackets would go.) The bathroom was huge -- the toilet in a water closet setup with a tub and sink just around the bend. The sink was just a pedestal but there was plenty of room for a cabinet. One oddity -- there was a skylight directly above the toilet. I have no clue how I'd handle that; something would have to diffuse the view or else I'd never be able to do my business.

Back to the tiny living area. It would probably hold my couch and TV. There was a north-facing window but the radiator was right in front of it. I would need a clever TV setup to not block the radiator, and the cable line was on the other side...small quibbles though. The bedroom was a decent size and had two small but workable closets. It had two large folding doors, so I could open or close them at my leisure to let me light into the living area. It also had two large East-facing windows with a great view of neighboring buildings. Since the apartment was in the back of the building it was very quiet. And so much light!! I was in love.

Overall, I'd guesstimate the apartment is the same size as my current place -- about 275 sq. feet. I had forgotten my tape measure...broke my own rules. So if my estimate is correct I'd have the same amount of space, but no backyard, and oh yeah I'd be paying $675 more per month for the Soho location. Still it was by far the nicest place I've seen and I could see myself being very happy there. And did I mention how close to work it was? See what I mean about talking yourself into decent when everything before sucked?

I asked about fees -- there was only a $250 application fee. No credit check fee. And NO BROKER'S FEE HALLE-FRIGGIN- JEULAH! Ahem. I asked the rep to fax me an application and we parted with a cordial handshake. I planned to apply without a guarantor even though I make less than 40x the rent. I was confident I could convince a co-op board that I'm awesome.

Back at work I called BFF M immediately and excitedly told her about the place. She gasped at the price but was supportive. Then I called my sister. My wonderful sister who was my guarantor on my current apartment and who went through hell with me getting our cashier's checks in order thanks to ambiguous instructions from a broker. Anyway, I asked if she would lend me a one-month deposit for this Soho apt which I would pay back in part once I got my current deposit back. She agreed, but cautioned me to do a budget. Such a practical person.

So I hung up and did a budget. It wasn't pretty. Before my current job I paid more than half my fulltime income towards rent...I'd supplement with occasional contractor jobs. With my new job I am paying less than half towards rent and it's great! But if I took the Soho place I'd once again be paying over 60% of my income towards rent. It was hard enough to swallow for $1750/mo but it was choking me at $2495/mo. For one thing, if I (God forbid) lost my job I don't think I could ask my family to help me pay rent that high. I had planned to take a part-time retail job for the holiday season but now I would pretty much depend on that money to have any disposable income. It was kind of scary. I could get by without a part-time job but I would have no cushion to fall back on. Suddenly the charmer apartment seemed more like a tempting demon.

I filled out the application anyway, just for kicks. Then I called the rep to iron out the details. That was when the second bomb dropped -- this apartment required first, last and security. An extra month I hadn't planned for. I knew then that this apartment was out of reach for me. I was not comfortable having $5000 in security just sitting around doing nothing. So I begrudingly told the rep I could not apply and asked her to keep me in mind if any of her other buildings yielded openings.

Perhaps it is for the best. This showed me I should really get my finances squarely in order. I need to save up at least a security deposit so I don't have to depend on the kindness of my sister. And I should pay off my credit cards. I am sad though. That apartment was very cute.

Also, I am vindicated, Dashboard Confessional style. Awesome apartment, no broker required. Take that, Mark David lady!

Bring these things to every NYC apartment viewing

2008-10-13T20:06:00.003-04:00

How many apartments does the average person view in New York City before picking one? 15-20. Keeping all of those places straight through memory only is practically impossible. Today I saw an apartment for the 3rd time because I haven't been keeping track. It made me realize that it's time to re-assemble my apartment viewing bag.

Here's what my bag has inside:

1. A tape measure.

When an apartment is empty, you can be fooled into thinking it's bigger than it is. Since NYC apartments tend to be small square footage becomes very important. My friend P rented a 2 BR with a friend. One bedroom was quite large while the one he took was smaller. You can imagine his surprise when he discovered that only his queen sized bed fit in the room. Nothing else really. Lesson learned.

This comes into play because owners, managers and brokers tend to exaggerate square footage. If an apartment is listed as 550 sq. feet it's probably closer to 400. (If you're buying, measuring is doubly important -- most apartments are priced per sq. foot. Don't let yourself get screwed out of money!) Apartment reps may try to talk you out of measuring the space -- tell them to fuck off. You're committing a year of your life to one or two rooms you have every right to see how much space you have to work with.

There isn't much data on the average size of rental apartments. It also varies from neighborhood to neighborhood. Generally, you'll find the largest apartments the further uptown and downtown you go (as well as the further East into the boroughs). The Soho/East Village/West Village/Chelsea/Union Square/Flatiron superfecta has the smallest apartments because those neighborhoods are in high demand.

2. A notebook.

If only I could remember where that awesome studio I saw over the weekend was. It was on Elizabeth somewhere...wish I'd written it down. This week I've been better about recording each view in my notebook. It's tedious, but writing down the address and your thoughts about the apartment and area will save you time in the long run. As I said in the intro, I've seen a studio apartment at 283 Mott 3 times now because I forgot to write down the address until yesterday. Reps will provide an address -- check against your list and you can save both yourself and the rep time.

Even though apartments come off the market quickly, it's nice to have notes about the places you see. If you're taking your time it gives you a mini-database of what you get for the money. For example, maybe you've seen three $2200/mo studios and know from your notes that they tend to have one to two windows, a kitchen in the living area and shower stalls rather than tubs. But you also have seen 2 $2600/mo apartments and know that price point yields a tub and a dishwasher. Maybe it's worth it to save up for the $2600/mo place.

Or perhaps you're trying to decide between 2 awesome places. The apartments themselves are both similar -- maybe one has a better layout. But you wrote down that one has laundry and a fitness center in the basement, or that one has a free month, and the decision is pretty much made.

One final thought -- maybe you saw an amazing apartment. You keep seeing the ad during your search and you think, "Why didn't I take that place again?" So you turn to your notes where you wrote down "Above popular bar. Neighbors said it was very noisy until 3 AM almost every nite." Oh yeah. Good thing I took notes!

3. A map.

This helps out in many ways. If you don't like the apartment you view brokers will often have backups in mind to show you. After two or three stops you may find yourself lost if you don't know the neighborhood. A map helps you regain your bearings and can help you locate nearby subway stations.

Or maybe you know the city, just not the neighborhood you're in. You took the R/W to get there, but is the A/C/E nearby? Who knows? These could be make or break criteria and the rep showing the apartment won't always know the answer.

I highly recommend the Red Maps, which show all street names plus subway lines. I just bought their Soho map which lists all of the stores as well. Granted, this information will become outdated but for $9 it was totally worth it. And if you want to try out a route to work or a boyfriend or whatever, try out HopStop. You can plan a route by taxi, bus, subway or walking (or a combination). The MTA also has a Trip Planner which comes highly recommended to me.

4. A check and a pen.

Like the apartment? Great, you need to put down some kind of deposit right away. I don't advise writing a check for too much (see tip #3 in this post) but $75 for a credit check or application fee is acceptable. This shows the management company or leasing agent that you are serious about the apartment. This initial deposit is refundable 90% of the time (credit check fees not so much). If the deposit is non-refundable or if it's above $200, it reeks of a scam to me. I would walk away from the apartment.

5. A camera.

If you ask nicely, brokers will let you take photos of an apartment (as long as you are not a broker yourself). I've only been told 'no' once out of more than 20 apartments seen. Just as taking notes will help you remember the nice amenities and flaws of an apartment a camera will record those things for posterity. It's also good for a laugh when you compare the reality of an apartment to the photos in the ad.

6. Contact information for the leasing agent/broker.

Nothing sucks more than waiting for a broker. It will happen. Give them a call and remind them that hey, you're not really impressing me here buddy. Sometimes brokers will ask to meet you on a corner rather than at the building which can lead to confusion in a crowded area. (Advice from experience: don't meet a broker at Prince and Broadway. Unless you want to meet up with 1,000 of your closest friends too!) If you know what agency the broker is from, bring that number too. If you can't get in touch with the broker some firms will ping them for you.

Other times you'll be the one who flakes. You got the address before you left but forget once you're in the nabe. Or you get there and can't get into the building without a buzz-in. I have flaked on getting contact info and let me tell you it sucks.

7. A friend.

OK, a friend can't fit into your bag but they are an important tool. Leasing agents and brokers are very persuasive. They can talk you into something you don't want to do, like putting in an application on an apartment that isn't the best for you. For them, it's about getting their fee. Don't let them pressure you. This just happened to me today. I saw an apartment that was about $150/mo more than I wanted to spend and the application called for 45x the monthly income, which I do not make. It didn't feel right to me but the broker pressured me into taking an application. We saw a few more apartments and he kept telling me to fill out the application. I called my sister about being a guarantor and she talked some sense into me. Thanks to her I was inspired to stand up for myself.

Friends will tell you honestly if an apartment is right for you or not. Bring them with you on visits whenever possible. They'll notice things you won't: the apartment is dark; the kitchen is from 1930; the bathroom is nasty; there's not a lot of closet space. Plus they will call you out on things: this apartment has fewer closets than your current place; didn't you say you wanted a bigger apartment; dude, don't make me walk up 5 flights to this place and so on.

Handy checklist:

[ ] tape measure
[ ] notebook
[ ] pen
[ ] check
[ ] camera
[ ] leasing agent contact info
[ ] leasing firm contact info
[ ] building address/apt number
[ ] friend

OK, Roxy, wave your magic wand and find me the perfect place!!
*waves wand*

J. Crew opens a collection store, not a lot of love for me

2008-10-13T14:16:00.005-04:00

Hopelessly devoted to J. Crew again

thanks to the Trixie shoes above.

I don't know what's going on but I cannot stop going to J. Crew these days. I possibly bought one of everything in their fall line...or maybe it just feels that way. The people at the 5th Ave store were starting to get to know me and one of the salesmen became my de facto personal shopper before I relocated for work. I read a fan blog every day (and it is a great one at that). It is probably the sign of having a problem; then again we already knew that I am a shopaholic.

I guess that I don't give off the air of being a VIP shopper though. This past week the new J. Crew collection store opened on 79th & Madison. I'm not even going to pretend like I shop on Madison Ave on the UES regularly. I occasionally browse through some of the stores like Ralph Lauren, Michael Kors and Intermix. But I can rarely afford or justify any purchases.

Still, I was looking forward to some loving from my favorite store. I went on Saturday and the store was not too crowded. The doorman was quite nice but the sales people ignored me for the first 10 minutes I was there. It was kind of surprising only because I saw other people being offered water (Pellegrino or tap!) but not me. The manager walked by me twice, made eye contact and then turned to someone else. It was...not nice. I'm sure she was busy with it being the first weekend and all. Still. Not nice.

I went into the shoe room where my beloved Trixie shoes were waiting for me. But I had to flag down a sales woman to get my size. Another shopper was apparently having a similar experience -- she tried asking two saleswomen who said they were busy with other shoppers so she finally left. I was about to do the same when a salesperson finally noticed me. She was very nice once I had her attention and all was forgiven (see, I'm easy to please!).

The shoe room at the J. Crew collection store,
79th & Madison Ave.

I asked if I could take a few pictures and the saleswoman said, "Sure...go right ahead!" So I did -- they are up on my flickr account and are by far my most popular views. I had come in looking for a rose tee that sold out everywhere. Apparently the store had some on Friday but by Saturday they were gone. In fact, they didn't have much in the way of actual stock. I was disappointed with the selection. So I settled on the shoes only. The cashier was awesome and gave me 20% off even though I'd forgotten my coupon. Thank you cashier! That made me feel better.

On my way out, I asked the doorman if I could take a couple of photos of the showroom. He had to ask the manager. I watched as her fake smile turned to plastic as she told me, "Oh no, no photos." Criminy! Seriously, lady? Was I insulting her or something? The doorman shot me an apologetic look and said, "You know, no one will stop you from taking pictures through the door..." and winked at me. I managed a smile but the moment had passed. I thanked him as he held the door for me. I left feeling not special. Luckily I have my shoes to cheer me up.

At least I'm not the only one...

2008-10-12T21:05:00.003-04:00

I went to one more apartment today in Nolita. Advertised as a $2595/1 BR, it was actually a studio with a non-permanent wall made of closets. Dumb move because the wall blocked all the sun, but I digress.

It was a weird but cool situation because the renter had not yet moved out. That was weird. But it was also very cool because I got an honest opinion about the building and the neighborhood. He was very positive about the neighborhood...his only complaint was the traffic on Kenmare (right outside the bedroom window) was sometimes kind of loud.

The building was another story. The entire time I was in the apartment, a small dog next door was yip yip yipping. Like, non-stop. It was obvious that the owner wasn't home. I could see the renter getting more and more agitated so I related the situation with my upstairs neighbor to him. I asked how often the dog was home alone, and he said pretty much all the time. "Yeah, if you want my honest opinion, don't take this place, "he said. "The building is pet-friendly but no one here is actually friendly to their pets."

What an honest way to put it. It must sound like I am anti-dog but it's quite the opposite. It's the irresponsible owners I can't stand. To have a happy, healthy dog in the city you need to make sure it gets outside enough and has lots of social time with other dogs. Otherwise you end up with a barky, biting, bored dog. It's really unfair to the dog. This is why even though I love animals I don't have a pet right now. I'm just not home enough to take care of it. And I'm not going to let my pet become someone else's (or everyone else in my building's) problem. That's just not right.

Don't wave your white flag

2008-10-12T13:30:00.004-04:00

Here's how I think landlords get away with charging such high rents: at the beginning of your apartment search, you're optimistic. You think "I know my budget is not as high as other people's but I know there is a great apartment out there for me." You see a few decent places but assure yourself you can do better. Then you start to see the stinkers -- the windows face almost directly into another building, there's no sun, the kitchen was renovated in 1960 and the bathroom has brown water. Everyone else on the floor smokes, you hear dogs yapping all around you and the hallway smells of old fish.

All of a sudden those decent apartments seem amazing! You jump at the next sorta nice apartment you see because it's just so great in comparison! Sure it's a bit more than you wanted to pay and it doesn't have everything you wanted but who cares? No shithole for you! Only after you move in do you start to notice the flaws: the electric meter is in your apartment. You're across the street from a popular bar and get to hear drunk pickup artists, people on their cell phones and the lovely sound of beer coming back up and onto your sidewalk. How poetic.

Or as T puts it: "They wear you down until your criteria for an awesome apartment is that the shower is not in the kitchen." And I have seen places like that. It doesn't take long to lose your wits.

This weekend I have been trying to see as many places as possible in Soho and Nolita to get an idea of what is out there. I've taken a few detours to Union Square, Chelsea and Flatiron as well. I have committed myself to staying steadfast on one of my criteria: no broker's fee. If I have to use a broker, fine, whatever, but no fee allowed. (We'll see if this lasts.)

Saturday dawned a but chilly but sunny and nice. I had been browsing the broker no fee listings on Craigslist and found two or three worth checking, all listed by Mark David & Company. I went to their offices and did the prerequisite fill out the form crap and had to sign one of their agreements. The broker at least specified on the form that I refused any fee apartments. He gathered a list of 6 apartments for me to see and then sent me out with one of the other brokers, a new girl.

Here's another lovely broker nuance: if their relationship with a super/manager/owner isn't exclusive there is no guarantee you will actually see a place. Especially on the weekends. So the broker honestly told me before we left, "I've called and left messages at a few of the places, but I'm not sure if we'll be able to get in or not." His assistant left it up to me whether we even went to those places or not. I appreciated their honesty but it was annoying. Still, we tried visiting all but one of the places.

I only ended up getting into 3 out of the 6. We were able to get into all but one of the buildings through a combination of buzzing every apartment until someone let us in or waiting until someone came out and then going in. What a disorganized, unsafe way to get in. It bothered me. Every apartment but 1 was locked. The broker had suggested using a credit card to shimmy the lock but I vetoed that idea. Besides, if the lock could be shimmied, it didn't inspire a lot of confidence for me in the place. Most of the apartments were missing a top lock so I could at least peep in.

A loft that actually wasn't horrible,
but the apartment was too dark.

The apartments I did see were honestly nothing special. One place on Mott was much smaller than in it looked in the ad, surprise surprise. An apartment up on 16th St was pretty nice and had a loft that actually didn't bother me too much because it was placed such that it didn't interrupt the living space. Plenty of storage too. I can see that place getting snapped up pretty quickly. But it was in the back of the building with no view or light and it had an old kitchen. So no. A place on 14th St was right near the E train but it was in a scary building and the neighborhood seemed a bit dicey. Plus the apartment was tiny. The final apartment I saw in Flatiron was pretty unique -- a second-floor apartment with a huge rooftop terrace that was shared among the 6 apartments on that floor. The broker tried to talk it up until I told him that I currently have a backyard that I share with only one other person.

For the most part none of the apartments struck me as being a good deal. None were even a decent deal. All were $2300 or higher due to their location in popular neighborhoods. But what's the point of being in a great neighborhood if your apartment sucks? My apartment is looking better and better with each other one I view.

Today I saw four more apartments. They were all in Soho between Prince and Spring, and Lafayette and Mott. They were all stinkers. I couldn't believe the things I saw: an illegal basement apartment. An apartment billed as a 1 BR that was clearly not a permanent wall. An incredibly dangerous bathroom with an electrical outlet in the shower area. All were in the $2400-$2700 range.

One thing is for sure: fall is a great time to look for apartments, and I have a feeling winter might be even better. There's far less competition than in the spring and summer so landlords are offering deals like 1 month free, them covering any broker's fees and sometimes even negotiable rents. I am really hoping that some of the more expensive apartments sit vacant for awhile, which would allow me to swoop in and get one for a deal.

Oh, the lies brokers will tell

2008-10-11T08:17:00.002-04:00

You know how Wall St just crashed? And you know how everyone is internally conflicted, because they feel bad for themselves for losing their own money, and they feel bad for the people who got conned into bad mortgages but they can't bring themselves to feel bad for the greedy bastards on Wall St? I feel like real estate apartment rentals are much the same.

Take broker's fees for example. You hate paying the fee, the management company couldn't care less if you pay the fee and brokers will do everything possible to make sure you just pay the damn fee. I understand that this is how brokers make their livelihood but that doesn't make it OK! The ends do not justify the means. Real Estate in NYC is broken. As I have said, I think broker's fees for purchasing apartments are justified. It's rentals I have the issue with.

Here's how rental brokers work in NYC: you (the renter) finds the apartment you like yourself, usually through ad somewhere or a good old fashioned sign. You call the number/email and the broker meets you there. The only function the broker performs is letting you into the apartment (after much fiddling with the keys). Then they call the owner or management company to tell them they found a renter. Ladies and gentlemen, give this broker their 15% of annual rent fee! They opened a goddamn door! Something you could not possibly have done yourself! Even better, the broker usually has little valuable information -- they don't know if the building is quiet, they don't know what the neighbors are like, they don't know the neighborhood 80% of the time. They don't know if your Super is attentive, they don't know if the management company will jerk you around. They know nothing except keys and fee.

Let's give the broker the benefit of the doubt -- maybe you don't like the first apartment you see. They have some other apartments for you to see. OK, that is something that I think is valuable. But is it worth $3150 on a $1750/mo apartment? Fuck no. The best is when you don't like the apartment you see the broker asks what you do want. You tell them -- let's say renovated, elevator, above the 2nd floor, dishwasher, laundry in building, less than $2000/mo. Now the broker is supposed to be doing the legwork for you. Except they keep calling you with apartments that don't fit what you want. I had this situation last time around. The broker would call with two or three of my criteria -- and I only found this out when I learned to ask about the apartment before we saw it. He was basically wasting both of our time showing me apartments I didn't want. That is not a value-added service.

Yesterday I looked at 3 apartments, all of which were under Craigslist's no fee listings. I hesitate in that section because more than once I've gotten burned by a broker who "accidentally" listed an apartment in the no fee section with a H1 "NO FEE" that oops, actually had a fee. But you gotta keep hope alive that you'll get a decent broker who is legitimately not charging a fee, or getting their fee paid by the owner/building management company.

The first apartment was at a dream location -- in between Lafayette and Mulberry in, umm, either Soho or Nolita. I'm still learning the neighborhood lines down there. It fit most of my criteria (except of course price). The listing was in the no fee section and clearly said 4 or 5 times no fee. I met the broker from Best Apartments outside the building. This was after convincing him that I'd already filled out their form and no I would not be meeting with him on the Upper West Side at their office before going to Soho. The apartment was really nice. It was an alcove studio with 3 large windows and a nicely done kitchen with a DISHWASHER and a breakfast bar. There were two closets, one of which was walk-in. $2595/month was really high for me but seemed like a decent price for what you get.

So I started asking about fees. Application fee? No. Credit check fee? Yes. And then the broker slipped in that he had a "low fee" -- one month instead of the normal 15%. I was livid, but I forced myself to remain calm. I explained to him that the ad I'd called from clearly said no fee several times. He said it must not have been his ad. Oh, buddy. This be the 21st century you're lying in. I took out my phone, browsed to the webpage and said, "This is your picture, isn't it? And this is the apartment we're in, right? Because this ad says No Fee." The broker's reply? That someone else in the office had put up the ad and it was a mistake.

I didn't even respond. I just turned around and left and went to my next appointment. Had there been people waiting for him outside the building I would have warned them. When I got home, I flagged the listing on Craigslist. It was still up this morning though.

The second apartment was more bullshit art. It was on Mott St. in Nolita. I never even got far enough to ask the broker if there really was a fee or not. Because I walked in to an apartment that did not match the pictures on the ad one bit. The ad showed bright, airy, new. The apartment was dark, smelly and old. I was there less than 5 minutes.

The last apartment was in Astoria. Given the long trip, I didn't want to waste my time a 3rd go-round so I had a preliminary screening call with the broker. I tried to hold myself back from being outright rude, but I bluntly asked questions like "This place is really no-fee, right?" and "Are the pictures in the ad actually of the apartment I'm going to see?". It turns out I was dealing directly with the management company. They come with their own set of issues, but in this case I was satisfied enough to head out to 30th Ave via the N.

It was both the largest and the cheapest apartment of the night. $1395/mo for a 1-BR. It had been gut renovated and had a huge closet and a huge living room. But it was in Astoria...I am still not convinced about Queens. At least there was only a $100 application fee. I took an application and headed home. It took me 20 minutes just to make it back to Manhattan. My commute would be around 45 minutes I guessed. Ugh. Luckily I am in no rush to move so I have time to wait for that perfect place.

To view the view, or live in it?

2008-10-09T23:15:00.004-04:00

Every time I think about living about Queens, I throw up in my mouth a little. I have friends (and many more now) who are moving to Astoria, Forest Hills and Long Island City. All of their places are very nice and easily triple the size of my tiny dorm room of an apartment. Many of them have these foreign things known as dishwashers...multiple rooms...walk-in closets...eat-in kitchens...cars. Yet I feel my lip curl up a bit every time I tell someone I'm taking the 7 train. I am such a snot rag. Yeah they save money on rent but they have 40 minute commutes to work. May as well move back to Connecticut for that. Sure they have an awesome view but do they have Whole Foods in Queens? Or JCrew? Or an Apple Store? Or some other yup pup thing that I have materistically convinced myself I can't live without or be more than 20 minutes away from? And do you have to convert to being a Mets fan? And a Jets fan? And an Islanders fan???

Everything is changing now that BFF M is thinking of moving out there though. She is much more sensible and pragmatic about these kind of things then I. She lives up by Columbia and her rent just went up $200 to $1530. And while that's a sweet deal by most NYC standards it's more than she can afford. Not even James Franco going to Columbia could convince her to stay. She works in midtown east so for her the decision to move to Queens was an easy one. I asked if I could tag along on some of her apartment visits, mostly so I could see what the market is yielding in the boroughs.

We met up after work at the 59th St N/R/W station and headed to Queensboro Plaza where we hopped on the 7 Express to Woodside. (Side tangent: why the heck is there a 7 circle and a 7 diamond? They couldn't find another number for the 7 diamond?? I will never understand this. Each route should have its own number or letter or whatever. It's very confusing for tourists otherwise.)

We got off at the 65th St stop and followed our Google Maps to where the first apartment should have been. Bad idea, because Google Maps is pretty much useless in the boroughs! (Yet another reason I am Manhattan-biased.) It was like 8 blocks off, which is huge in NYC. Not only that; it put us literally on the wrong side of the tracks with buildings blocking the shortest path so we had to take a 3 block detour to get around them. It gave us a chance to check out the neighborhood. Queens now looks like I imagine NYC did in the 1980s -- kind of built up and urban but full of semi-seedy mom and pop shops. I actually mean that as a compliment. It's much less pretentious than the Upper East Side to be sure. More like a neighborhood. People just hanging out on the sidewalk chatting you up for no other reason than because you are there and they want to talk.

Once we made it to the right address I have to admit the building was very cute from the outside. We met R, a guy we thought was the owner, outside. He had 2 apartments to show: a studio, a 2 BR and a 1 BR. We looked at the $1150 studio first. As we went into the building I noticed the unmistakable smell of polyurethane. Sure enough the floors in the studio had just been redone...meaning we couldn't really walk inside. Lame. But M got a good enough idea of what the place was like. It was a two-room studio -- isn't that a 1 BR? -- with a kitchen in the living area. It didn't really meet much of M's criteria: no separate eat-in kitchen, no extra closet space, etc. but M loved it. The kitchen was suspect to me, as was the ceiling and floor molding. I think she was so overwhelmed by the size compared to her current place that the flaws disappeared. That and she looked at a $950 studio last week that was actually a closet.

We moved on to the 2 BR which was really awesome. The 2nd bedroom was really more of an office; it was off of the 1st bedroom so I'm not sure if two friends could share the place. It had a bunch of closets, a really nice kitchen and bathroom and a cool floor border in the wood. Unfortunately it was also $1600 which was out of M's reach. We asked to see the 1 BR which I was hoping would be just right. And it was pretty cute. Not as nice as the 2 BR but workable. M's eyes had lit up. I think it was $1450. She asked about the fees due up front and that was when she found out that R was not the owner but a broker. And that there was a broker's fee on any of the three apartments she'd seen. Oh, and an application fee from the management company on top of that. She was PO'ed and I can understand why. She'd found the listing through rentdirect.com, which is a paid listing service. So if she took any of those places she'd be hit by three separate fees -- rentdirect, broker and application. Probably a credit check fee too for good measure.

Those additional fees would have wiped out any savings from her current place and then some. So they were a no-go. But R mentioned that he had a few no-application fee apartments in Jackson Heights, did M want to see them? Of course! They were 2 stops further East on the 7, but luckily R had a car and gave us a ride. On the way over M talked the broker into a month's fee instead of the standard 15%, go her! Even if I was silently cursing brokers, especially this guy J I used to to date.

The neighborhood seemed nice enough as we drove through. As you get further from Manhattan it becomes more and more suburban and Jackson Heights held true to that pattern. The block we viewed on was really cool. It was one continuous block of tall townhouse style apartment buildings like you'd see in Pelham, Mammaroneck, or Larchmont. They probably have a name other than "tall townhouse style apartment buildings."

M saw a sizable studio that once again was really two rooms. The kitchen was built into a closet and the fridge was out in the living area, one of my pet peevs. M didn't seem to care to much. Also, the bathroom had no tub (shower only) and the closet had the weirdest door I'd ever seen -- a huge swivel thing that would have been practically unworkable with clothes inside. Again, M didn't care. It was $1150.

The 1 BR was on the first floor of the building down the block. It was probably the best fit for M of anything we saw. It had the same floor pattern as the 2 BR in the Woodside place, plus lots of closets and an eat-in kitchen. It was $1300. Nice, but not a knockout. First floor apartment, street-facing? I dunno. But like I said at the beginning, M is much more flexible and she is the one who would actually be living there.

She wasn't ready to make a decision (good call in my opinion) so she took R's card and we headed to the 7 circle station a few blocks away. The view of the skyline on the way back was awesome. The sky was purple and red and the buildings looked amazing.

We went to Junior's at Grand Central for a recap. M calculated her savings in rent against the broker's fee and decided that a 1-month fee was doable. We recapped the apartments and how big they were. I have to admit that seeing all those closets was tempting and M totally picked up on it. "Imagine, you could save 4 or $500 a month." Plus the extra cash from my new salary, that would add up to $1000 a month. That is a lot of money! I could pay off my credit cards. Or save money. But let's be real. I would spend it. The things I could spend that money on kept multiplying exponentially. From clothes to a Mini Cooper lease in the span of 30 seconds of daydreaming.

But, oh, the commute! And seeing the view is nice, but living in it is way better. Plus I'd just settled on the daydream of a cool 1 BR on Broadway or Greene in between Spring and Prince St in Soho! For M this move totally makes sense: has lived here for 5 years, job in the 50s on 1st, boyfriend on Roosevelt Island, a ferocious beast of a kitty that needs a view to lord over. For me: just finally moved in a year ago, works in Soho, shopaholic, tall building obsessee, it makes much less sense. Still, $1000 a month...I may have browsed the Jackson Heights listings on Craigslist...may have...ok, did.

The 11 things I learned from my first NYC apartment hunt

2008-10-07T21:15:00.005-04:00

I'm 90% sure I'm going to move. I return to apartment searching so much wiser than last time I embarked. I really hope that the rental market will quiet down a bit. Hard to say right now though. In preparation I dusted off my old bookmarks and came up with 11 tips for your first New York City apartment hunt...

1. Unless you're looking for a really expensive apartment or don't have time to search for your own apartment, brokers are useless*.

While very useful for apartment purchases, brokers are such an unneeded middleman in the rental process. So why do renters still use them? The biggest reason is because they have access to the NYC realty database -- the registry that lists all available apartments for rent in the city at any given time. You can't access the registry unless you're a licensed real estate agent, so us normal folks are SOL. Another reason is that building management companies don't want to or don't have time to show an apartment to perspective renters. It's time consuming, it's a pain in the ass and the management companies just want the apartment rented already. For many building management companies it was less expensive during the boom to hire a third-party broker then it was to retain a full-time in house broker. Trends are slow to change and it's renters, not buildings paying broker's fees right now for the most part.

If you do view broker apartments, and hey I did my first time around, don't let them push you around. They're going to tell you the apartment is in high demand and pressure you to make a decision on the spot. Don't get pressured into a decision -- there will always be another great apartment. Try to stay as rational as possible (admittedly, I made an emotional decision my first time around). Negotiate their fee before you commit to an apartment.

The first time you talk to a broker they are going to make you come to their office and fill out an informational form. They almost never take you straight to the apartment. In fact half the time their ads are just teasers to get you into their offices -- the apartment listed doesn't actually exist.

*However, if you can find a broker employed by a management company that charges the mgmt company fees and not you, I say go for it. What do you have to lose?

2. It is possible to find an awesome apartment without a broker.

OK, so 70% of available apartments in NYC are broker-listed. Guess what, though? That leaves 30% that are not. I don't know what that works out to in terms of hard numbers but I think it's safe to say thousands of apartments rent on a yearly basis without a broker. Some are referrals (hey, I'm moving out of my apartment and I know you want to live on the UES, want to take over my lease?); some are through owner/management company advertising and some are through aggregate services (i.e. nybits or mlsupdate123). For me, the bad news was that if a management company had enough money to advertise their apartments on the subway or a website like Curbed it was probably out of my price range anyway. The good news is that owners/management companies still use tried and true tactics like putting a sign on the building. Seriously. Walk around a neighborhood like the Lower East Side or the East Village and you will see plenty of apartment available signs.

Web sites are a bit more of a crapshoot. Sites like Craigslist have a for rent by owner section, but many of the apartments listed actually have broker fees cleverly hidden. Or worse, there are many scam listings. Other sites like rent direct have an equal number of success stories as scam claims and require a fee to sign up. You can protect yourself though. If something looks too good to be true, it is too good to be true. If every 1Br apartment you see in Union Square costs $2400 but all of a sudden you see 1 $1650 apartment, be very wary.

To be successful without a broker, you either need to be very willing to compromise or very patient. If you aren't too tied down to a certain location or amenities or if you have a flexible move-in date and can wait until the right apartment opens up you are more likely to be successful without a broker.

3. Know the basics about the process.

Most brokers and management companies will require a deposit right away when you say you want to rent an apartment. Never give them more than $500 cash -- it could always be a scam and you don't want to lose everything. Ask for a receipt and make sure the deposit is refundable. Almost every building will run at least a credit check on you, which you have to pay for. It's around $75 per person and will be done for everyone on the lease, including guarantors. When you pay your security at your lease signing, it must be a cashier's check. It CANNOT be a personal check, a money order or a credit card charge. Cash is also not usually accepted. Be very wary of anyone asking for cash security deposits.

Likewise, be wary of shares with strangers. One common scam in recent years is people "renting out rooms" and for one month security deposit. Then you and five other people show up on move-in day, all for the same room, and realize you got shafted. The scammer has long since disappeared with your money. (I read about this in the Village Voice, but can't find the article link. To be updated if I can locate it.)

Most landlords require you to make 40x the rent. So if an apartment is $2000/month you need to make at least $80,000 annually before taxes. Some landlords accept guarantors, which are like co-signers on loans. If you cannot pay your rent, the landlord can go after your guarantor for the money. And go after them (and you!) landlords will. Family members are preferred and they need to make much higher salaries, sometimes as high as 80x the rent. Some landlords will not accept out of state guarantors.

Some buildings have rules about which days you can move in/out on. Make sure to coordinate with your management company as necessary. No need to start off on the wrong foot. Also check building policies on pets, quiet hours and the like. Co-ops will have stricter rules than rental buildings.

4. Things like which floor you live on, your exposure and how many windows you have matter.

Ever heard the term pre-war vs. post-war? Before I moved to NYC, I thought it boiled down to pre-war meaning old and post-war meaning new. But it's so much more than that. Pre-war buildings tend to have much thicker walls and concrete floors. What does that mean? Less neighbor noise. Believe me when I say it can make the difference between sanity and calling the cops. Post-war buildings tend to have more amenities like gyms, open floorplans and floor to ceiling windows. But they also have thinner walls and less soundproofing. Families tend to live in pre-war buildings, especially families with youngins. Pre-war buildings tend to be on the west side (UWS mostly).

Want to live on the first floor? Maybe you'll be lucky like me and have access to a private backyard, but maybe you'll also be lucky enough to have mice like me. Live near the water? Be prepared for water bugs. Live above a restaurant? It's potential for rats and cockroaches, hooray! You'll have less light in your apartment on low floors and probably anti-theft window guards which let in less light. It will also be cold in the winter on low floors. Up high you'll have more light but it will be sweltering both in the summer and in the winter when all the heat rises to you. If you live on a middle floor you should be considerate of your neighbors below and hope for the same from your neighbors above.

Also, FYI, apartments usually get larger as you move upstairs. So studios down low, then 1 BRs above them and so on. One way to try to cheat the noise factor is to rent a smaller apartment below a larger one or vice versa. This cuts down on the chance of your living area being directly above/below your neighbors, but does add the possibility of Junior's playroom being right above your bedroom.

If your apartment faces north, you will get very little direct sunlight. You may as well call your apartment the Batcave. The double whammy is a northern exposure with a building right against yours. Hope you like artificial light! Southern exposures, conversely, get tons of sun and can be blindingly hot in the early evening. Eastern exposures are sunny in the morning and dark later and Western exposures are the opposite (shocker, I know). Many people in NYC have apartments with a full wall (or walls) of windows, and many people do not put coverings on them. You can see everything that goes on whether you want to or not. Get used to it. Studios often have only one window in them. If you need to do a window A/C unit, that one window becomes a half-window. It sucks.

Last thoughts for this section: living on side streets is quiter than living on Avenues. If you live on a main thoroughfare like 79th St you will always have ambient noise like car horns. Apartments in the rear of the building are generally quieter. Apartments in the front of the building generally have better views.

5. Learn your real estate terms.

I've hit on this before, but it's worthwhile to learn how to translate apartment ads. An apartment described as "charming" is tiny. If it's described as "in a great location near x, y, z chic neighborhood" it's tiny and old and possibly gross. A Jr. 1 bedroom doesn't actually have a separate bedroom -- it's usually an alcove studio (L-shaped) or has french doors separating the sleeping and main areas. Convertible likewise means that it doesn't have permanent walls, so a convertible 3 BR is actually a 2 BR that could be made into a 3 BR if you put up a wall of some temporary kind (tenants can't legally add permanent walls to rental apartments). A Juliet balcony isn't big enough for you to actually go outside onto; it's basically decorative. A garden level apartment is below street level. Loft apartments doesn't usually mean one big open area like it would in other cities. In NYC loft usually means a raised sleeping area that you access via a ladder. No, I'm not kidding.

Rent-controlled apartments' rent never increases. At this point you will not find a rent-controlled apartment on your own. End of story. Rent stabilized apartments' rent can only be raised a certain percentage per year. The percentage is decided annually by the NYC Rent Guidelines Board.

6. Educate yourself about utilities, leases and the like.

All apartments in Manhattan include water and heat in their monthly rate (or at least, they should legally). Boroughs are a toss-up. You usually have to pay for your own electricity, gas (for cooking), cable, etc. Your landlord will usually provide an A/C unit. Many buildings do not have laundry facilities. Buildings have to be specially zoned to have a washer/dryer in the apartment. If there is no drain by the washer/dryer, it is illegal! RUN, don't walk the heck outta there.

You are only required to put down one month security and your first month's rent when you sign a lease for an apartment in Manhattan. Landlords may ask for more but you should refuse to pay any additional security fees.

Read your lease carefully. I cannot say this enough! Check for clauses about landlord entry, legal fees, damage fees and the like. It is so worth paying a lawyer $200 to review your lease to protect yourself. Security deposits are often lost because landlords invoke some dumb lease clause. You DO NOT have to sign the lease the landlord gives you. You are allowed to challenge anything that makes you uncomfortable. Once you sign that's it so read it carefully and get unfair clauses removed before you sign.

Do you know your tenant rights? Yeah, me neither. Not something that really gets handed out to you when you move in. But the city does have a couple of websites devoted to the matter. The NYC Affordable Housing Resource Center has information about public housing and what to do if you lack basic services like heat or hot water. The NYC Rent Guidelines Board decides on the rent increase for rent-stabilized apartments in the city. Renters hate them, landlords hate them...it's a no-win situation.

7. Explore the neighborhood you're considering before you check out listings.

Do you like carrying groceries 10 blocks? Me neither! So I'm pretty damn lucky that I have a nice grocery store 2 blocks away. Know what else sucks? Hauling your laundry 8 blocks to the nearest laundromat or laundry service. And it's so much fun walking 7 blocks to nearest subway station when it's 15 degrees outside and icy. If you enjoy loud pulsing beats every night til 2 AM then by all means take that apartment above the nightclub. Hey, living across the street from a school is great for concentrating during the day! That scaffolding outside the building next door to the one you're considering renting in couldn't mean construction noise, could it? Nah! Are you excited about the 2nd Ave subway line? Me too, but I sure wouldn't want to live on 2nd Ave on the Upper East Side right now. If you live on a low floor in a building above a subway line, your apartment just might shake every time a train goes by.

It's also worthwhile to research each neighborhood as a whole. Want a neighborhood that's quiet at night? Don't live in Soho. Want to be close to many of the cities' museums? Try the Upper East Side. Worried your neighborhood will be dead after hours? Don't live in midtown.

8. You DO NOT need a car in Manhattan. You DO NOT want a car in Manhattan, Sell it before you move here.

Your car insurance will triple if you park your car in Manhattan. It has a better than 50% chance of being broken into. It will cost the same amount as your rent to park your car for one month. Alternate side parking rules are nightmarish. Good luck fighting an NYC ticket.

Besides the logistical nightmares, it's totally unneccessary to have a car in Manhattan. Everybody delivers; the subway and bus systems are comprehensive and if you need a car to get out of the city services like Zipcar are great rental solutions. There are taxis if you need to satiate your vehicular cruising needs.

One more reason: it takes 1 hour to get from East 77th St to West 21st St by car anytime between 8 AM and noon, or 5 PM to 7 PM. I know from experience.

9. It takes forever to get your cable/internet hooked up.

Whether you choose Time Warner or Verizon FiOS, it will probably take at least a month to get everything hooked up correctly. In the summer peak moving season it takes a month just to get an appointment. Both companies are notorious for missing installation appointments, not having the proper equipment when they do come or installing things incorrectly. Most of their technicians do a great job I'm sure but bad stories spread much faster than good ones. I personally have two hellish Time Warner stories.

Once installed, your signal will suck sometimes for no reason. Lines across your screen, channels randomly fritzing out, your Internet connection crawling at high-peak hours or overnight. Your only action is to pray to the gods of the Internets for your fiber/cable to return. If you call customer service at either company, they will instruct you to unplug your unit, wait 30 seconds, then plug it back in. If that doesn't work they have to schedule a repair appointment...which the technician will arrive for with no information about what the problem is.

10. Become handy, because your Super/management company are going to be slow to fix anything.

Luckily my Super is very attentive so this is not actually a problem for me (my non-Super is a different story). But for most of my friends, broken fridges, leaky pipes and anything else that doesn't work will usually sit for as long as possible before the landlord actually takes care of it. Sometimes it's a matter of laziness, sometimes of ignorance, sometimes of business. It is always miserable for you, the tenant. BFF M had her fridge break, so she lost $50 worth of groceries. Her management company fixed it two weeks later but it broke a week after that and she lost another $50 in groceries. During your search it's a good idea to ask where the Super lives (in your building is preferable). If you live in a doorman building you're more likely to have a dedicated maintenace crew in your building as well.

11. Don't blow all your money on rent.

One of my biggest delimas was setting a budget. In NYC it's easy to blow 60% of your income on rent, especially if you're just out of school. So how much do you need to make to live in Manhattan? I would say at least $50,000 anually to have any semblance of comfort. I do have friends who do it for less but they are taking a huge risk or living 8 people in a 4 BR apartment, and who wants to live like that? Part of living in the city is experiencing the culture. Sure, lots of cool stuff is free but lots of cool stuff is so not free. You will spend more than you think when you live here. Either learn to control yourself or budget accordingly.

When you are making your budget, consider the following:
- transportation costs (Metrocard, taxi fares, etc.)
- health insurance costs
- taxes (live in NYC? your income gets taxed by both the city and the state)
- 401k/IRA/savings
- groceries (food is expensive in Manhattan) and eating out (ditto)
- utilities like electricity
- cable/internet/etc
- gym memberships
- other basic needs
- disposable income for clothing, concerts, going out, etc.
- delivery and tip fund

Subtract all or some of those things from your monthly income after taxes. That gives you an idea of what you can afford.

Additional resources if you're thinking about moving to NYC:
Wired New York City forums (very long thread at this point, but still very valuable)
Tips on apartment hunting from Columbia University
Ben Popken's thoughts on moving to NYC without going broke
New York Magazine's real estate section (though they seem to have taken down their neighborhood guide, which was awesome)
The New York Times' community guides (click on neighborhood in the community data links for more info)
OnNYturf (find a business near a subway station)
Google Maps
Flavorpill

Review sites:
Yahoo Local
Yelp

Open House New York: Take 2

2008-10-06T22:51:00.009-04:00

This past weekend was Open House New York (OHNY). This was my second time participating in the program and once again I completely missed any advertising for it until the day before. It was friend A who got me into gear this year. Each year, the program opens up several commercial and private interest sites (apartments, studios, businesses, etc.) to the public for two days. Some places require reservations for tours while others are open to the public during certain hours.

And just like last year, I missed out on several sites I would have loved to see. The High Line? Not even close. Not only did I miss the deadline to enter the lottery for a tour spot (!!) but I heard that they had something like 5,000 requests for 700 available spaces. Tom Otterness studio? Totally booked -- try the 14th St/8th Ave subway station instead. 7 World Trade Center? Maybe next year.

Still, I wasn't dissuaded from finding other spots to see. A and I decided to go the Broadway Penthouse, the Grand Mason Lodge, PS260 and the Chrysler Building (which I saw last year, but I never get sick of deco). Our plan was to meet at Broadway Penthouse on Saturday morning at 8:45 AM and work our way uptown.

These wood tables were a

cool accent in the Broadway penthouse.

It was raining on Saturday but I was too excited to care. I got down to Great Jones St around 8:55 (pretty good for me!) where A was queued up 3rd in line. We were the second group to go up. I learned later that we came at the right time. Not only did we get a full tour from someone from the architecture firm but I learned the site cancelled for Sunday. The place was very modern and had recently been featured in the New York Times. My favorite part was the living room, which had pillows made to look like rocks and pebbles. Minimalism has never been my style though and the place was so sparse. Not a kid-friendly place. Whether it was jealousy or shock I'm not sure, but I was kind of upset walking around. It just seemed like so...lifeless to me. It had tons of cool features but it had no personal touches. No photos or anything that says life. Maybe they were taken down beforehand? Nonetheless, I appreciate that the owner was willing to open it to the public.

The bathroom sink (yes, it's a sink
made out of wood -- teak) was
surrounded by real foliage.

The roof had a tiered garden, which the architects said the owner wanted to use to bring natural surrounds to the urbanscape. That at least spoke to me a bit.

The 2nd floor hallway at
The Grand Lodge of Masons.

From there, it was up to 23rd and 6th and the Grand Lodge of Masons. Admittedly, I was a bit confused about who the Masons are exactly. Was it Masons in the sense of working with stone? (Yes, historically.) Was it like a union? (Not really.) The Masons are a fraternity of sorts and as they explained it they're committed to bettering themselves and charitable efforts. The building is non-descrept from outside -- I know I have passed by at probably 100 times without realizing what was inside. And how cool it was; 12 floors of ornately decorated meeting rooms each set up to reflect the Temple of Solomon and by that reflect their code of morality. Our tour guides were a hoot. Each made sure to mention that Félix Chávez had restored each room over four years in 1986. And my compliments to him because each room we saw was truly beautiful.

The Tiffany skylights in the Grand Hall.

The coolest room on that tour was the Grand Hall, which was so big I couldn't capture it one photo. Our guides told us an anecdote that the Tiffany ceiling skylights inspired the Titanic designers to use the same skylights in the great ballroom. I don't know if this is true...cool story either way!

From there we headed to P.S. 260. Not actually a school. It was a video editing company meant to be young, hip and cool...and man if you've seen one of these companies (or worked for one as I have) you've really seen them all. They are awesome to work for but a bit pretentious from the outside looking in. Also kind of shitty that no one was outside as the rest of the locations had -- and there was no way to buzz up. Luckily someone who worked there happened to arrive at the same time as we did and let us up. A and I quickly breezed through the office. We were mostly interested in the rooftop view. They recently shot an episode of "Lipstick Jungle" up there. Oddly enough, I was visiting a friend who lives next to the Empire State Building for a party on his rooftop deck that night and we saw them filming (the lighting for the shoot completely fucked with the light on our night photos and I was repeatedly cursing them). Anyway, the deck was pretty cool. The view to the north was just alright but the view south was to die for. Straight shot to the Flatiron Building.

Ahoy, Daily Bugle!

We could see the new Esplanade clearly and Madison Square Park peeked in from the East. As we left, I told A, "I'll take it."

The Chrysler Building was still awesome just like last year. Go see it! Coolest clock ever in the lobby. Overall, getting an early start was key this year. The weather probably also had something to do with it (on and off rain and cold) but we hit no lines this year. Four places and done before 3 PM. I have to say, though, what the hell is up with the OHNY website? Not only is it so NOT search engine friendly (no meta tags?? spaces in the URLS?? really??) it's also not mobile phone friendly. C'mon guys. People in the 21st century do not carry around tabloid-sized guides. If you want help re-doing your site, call me. I got friends in talented places.

I finally become a New York state resident

2008-10-05T20:17:00.003-04:00

I have my priorities. Getting a New York driver's license was not one of them. I still have the license I got on my 21st birthday in Colorado. I didn't update it when I moved back East because I kept my car registered in Colorado for a time and then I just kind of forgot about it. It only occurred to me when I had to show ID to get into a club or my regular bartenders would make fun of me, calling me Mountain Girl.

Actually that isn't totally true. When I first moved back to Connecticut from Colorado I did try to register my car in Connecticut and get a CT license. But the DMV demanded some form that Colorado wouldn't turn over for some reason, so I was screwed. I just gave up -- it was like the DMV didn't want my money. I can't win with the government. I don't even try to rationalize the bureaucracy.

But I really want to vote in November's election so I decided it was finally time to go to the DMV and get a local license. I figured now that I don't have a car it would be relatively simple. In NYC, you can get your license at License X-Press, which is on W 34th St just west of 8th Ave. My first attempt was on the Monday of my off-week. I went in the early afternoon and it was crowded, but not the 12 long lines you picture when you think DMV. They had a number board (now serving A1023 at station 10, etc.) but I didn't see a place to get the numbers so I went to the info desk. The woman gave me two forms to fill out. One was my license transfer request form. The other was a signature form.

I filled both forms out and got into the photo line as instructed. It was the longest line in the place but the wait wasn't too bad...maybe 35 minutes at most. Once at the front I got an eye test and finally I'd made it! I handed over my form and my two forms of government ID (my social security card and my passport).

"Uh oh," said the lady at the counter. Uh oh? That's never a good way to start. "Is this passport expired?" "Yes," I responded. "But it was listed as one of the valid ID forms on the DMV site."

She shook her head no. Not in New York City it's not. Current passports only. Plus, my passport was a green child's passport (it's been awhile since I've traveled abroad, sigh) so that was a double whammy. I wanted to argue, but I didn't. Honestly, I was kind of afraid of getting arrested if I argued. So I left dejectedly. My only option was to get a copy of my birth certificate. Which mean calling the parental units.

Like a teenager I just don't talk to my parents very much. I love them and all, but they are crazier than me. I can only take so much. But call them I did and my Dad agreed to overnight me his copy of my birth certificate. I got it the next day...no thanks to the Post Office, which did everything possible to keep me from getting my overnighted package sent from less than two hours away that I could have driven and picked up and returned to NYC 4 times in the time it took them to find my package...deep breath. See what I mean about not being able to win with the government?

I got back to License X-Press on Thursday and the lines were thankfully much shorter. I was nervous about my birth certificate. I always imagined it as this big form with your mom and dad listed on it, but mine was just a simple officially sealed card the size of, well, a driver's license. But there were no problems this time. I preened a bit in the mirror by the camera station and the lady at the counter took my photo. Then I got a number, paid when my number was called ($42.50, they take cash, personal checks or credit cards) and was told my license would be mailed to me in two weeks. Groan. Does anyone else think that having your driver's license mailed to you is identity theft waiting to happen?

There was nothing I could do but wait. I was anxious to see how my picture would turn out -- my Colorado license actually had a pretty awesome shot I was sad to part with. This past Thursday my NY state license arrived. First of all, it is quite flexible compared to my stiff Colorado license. I feel like I could accidentally break it just taking it out of my wallet. And I could only laugh at my photo, which looks like it was taken from across the room. But I am very excited to officially be a New York State resident. Even if it does mean I can get called in for jury duty.

Me vs. ConEd, update

2008-10-03T21:53:00.002-04:00

Well, Con-Ed never showed up for their appointment this week. I called my representative from the high bill department and he has not called me back. I have no idea what to even do at this point. I've decided to stew over it this weekend and then take action on Monday. They are really impressing me with how inept they truly are. It's enough to make me want to run for mayor.

Someone forgot to give me the memo about the dress code

2008-10-01T22:12:00.002-04:00

Sometimes I wonder if I'm an idiot savant. While I am often oblivious to things going on around me, I occasionally fixate on one thing to an almost obsessive level. Lately I have been focused on what people around me are wearing.

My personal style has been going through a bit of a revamp lately. This past summer I rediscovered skirts. I had been avoiding them due mostly to hating my legs, but advice from a co-worker inspired me to get over it: "Girl, summer in New York is too hot to worry about what the strange people say about your gams." (I don't think she said it quite like that but that's how I prefer to remember it.) And how freeing it was! And oh so much cooler -- temperature-wise -- than jeans. It led me to rediscover casual prep and reconcile my current self with my younger New England days. All of a sudden JCrew and I are best friends again after years of giving each other the silent treatment. I want pretty and ruffly and shiny and I don't care who sees it. I'm inspired by Madison chic crossed with Flatiron flash living on the Upper East Side Prêt-à-Porter. Or something to that effect.

It's led to a more sophisticated me and I kinda like it. Add in new haircut and I'm feeling pretty alright! But now that I've started a job in Soho my fashion conscious has been thrown for a loop once again. Leggings everywhere. Tee shirts and scarves on top. Hair pulled back. Canvas purses. Flats. Ack! Are these people who legitimately live in Soho? Visitors? Students? I have no idea. But I'm feeling overdressed. Nevermind that leggings or matchstick jeans are hell no's for me, I would look ridiculous at 77th St waiting for the 6 train. They remind me of things I would have worn in college during my freshman year when my diet consisted entirely of rice a'roni and breakfast once a week from Edwards Hall. Which is to say I'm neither hip nor young enough to be their target audience. That doesn't stop me from shopping at American Eagle though!

Last week during my week of re-sanity T and I voyaged downtown to check out my new work area. The area had of course completely changed since 2003, which I think is honestly the last time I was on Prince St. There was still shopping everywhere but all of the stores I remembered were gone and there are a lot more chains than I remember. But I wasn't there to shop. I was actually looking for places to try for lunch. T was pointing out places that looked decent but I was too busy taking in the looks and motifs of the people around me. On Prince St I blended in a bit more, but on Spring St I looked like had stumbled off my directions. Even T looked kind of overdone in cargo shorts and a polo. When I voiced this to him he classicly dismissed me as being oversensitive. "No one cares what you are wearing," he hissed. "Stop being ridiculous and just dress however makes you happy."

Two days later on our return visit he wore jeans and a black tee shirt. T never wears jeans. T never wears black tee shirts. I was also guilty as charged in jeans, a slouchy tee and flats. I felt 20. Irrational fears of being late to JT100 flooded my brain. The adjustment isn't about being a follower so much as it is about blending in. Sometimes I want to stand out. But more often I enjoy being part of the mass spilling through the streets. In some strange way it allows you to build a protective bubble of privacy around yourself knowing no one is looking at you. When I want to be seen, you'll know.

Me vs. ConEd, again

2008-09-23T20:20:00.003-04:00

I feel like I just can't win with ConEd. Every couple of months it seems like they are out to get me. It wasn't enough for them to screw me out of gas for over a month. It wasn't enough for them to try to trick me into changing my electricity provider to a 3rd party that charges 2-3 times more. And even threatening to shut off our building's common area electricity didn't satiate their need for suffering. No, no, once again they had to come after me.

Each month, my ConEd bill ranges from $50-$65. Sometimes the bills are "estimated usage" and sometimes they are actual meter readings. But always in the same range. This has been the case steadily for over year. So you can imagine my shock when I got a bill this month for $325. This can't be right, I told myself. The explanation was this:

Dear Customer, we know that we have been sending you estimated bills for the past few months. Well we finally read your meter and (chuckle chortle) guess what? It turns out that we underbilled you for the last 4 months. By a lot. Yeah we don't know why you used so much more electricity this year than last year. No, we don't really care why and we don't think it's our mistake. Oh, and we know we already billed you our best guess for those last 4 months but we're gonna go ahead and re-bill you now! Yeah, we can do that. Isn't it great?! It's like your name came up in the screw you lottery this month. It's like winning...for us. And there's really nothing you can do about it. We have no oversight. Go ahead and call your politician whatever person. The Public Service Commission? Drowning in complaints like yours, and for much more money. Call us if you want! We'll just yell at you and tell you you're an idiot.

Should you choose not to pay, we will send the mob after you. Whoops, we mean collections. So just go ahead and pay this bill that makes absolutely no sense. Or else. Whoops, we mean please. And could you please bend over? It makes it that much easier for us to kick you in the ass.

Love,
ConEd xoxxoxoxo

Or in more business-y terms, ConEd said that they were able to read my meter for the first time in 4 months and they are re-billing me for May-September. The new cost? About $121 per month. I LIVE IN A 200 SQUARE FOOT APARTMENT ON THE FIRST FLOOR. I have a northern exposure -- hardly any light. I barely ever have to run my air conditioning. I don't leave anything on while I am gone during the day. My refrigerator is not running all the time. You have got to be kidding me.

The total bill was $454, but they applied the amount I'd been paying on my bills each month. So I'm left owing $325. I was so unbelievably mad. I called my parents; I called T; I called BFF M; I wanted to call the cops for robbery. I emailed the Consumerist tips line but never heard back (I guess even they have bigger fish to fry). I did research and found that I am unfortunately not the only one going through this. Then I called ConEd.

I had a lovely 45 minute wait time to practice what I wanted to say. I'll just summarize our conversation: he said there was nothing ConEd could do. That was on Saturday. The next day I called back and opened a bill dispute. Today a rep from their "high bill" department called me back. He tried pulling me into an argument, but I kept calm and stood my ground: I am disputing the bill. We scheduled a meter re-read and he recommended I get my Super to check the meter while I unplug everything to see if the meter is still running (if so, something besides my apartment is running to the meter).

There are three possible outcomes: 1 - ConEd discovers the meter was incorrectly read. 2 - Something besides my apartment is running into my electric meter. 3 - I am wrong, ConEd is right and I pay the bill. Update to come after next week's meter reading. What makes me so upset is that ConEd was allowed to send me "estimated bills" on a monthly basis. Why the hell are they allowed to do that? Shouldn't that be, oh I don't know, illegal? And who do I bother who can actually do something about this?

Metapost: An Interview with Spider-Man

2008-09-23T15:49:00.004-04:00

The Summer of Superheroes may have officially ended a couple of days ago but Spider-Man is just now getting in on the action. Maybe he was busy prepping for his big Broadway debut. Sarcastic line about great power and great responsibility goes here.

Time Out New York named Spidey to their New York 40 list and posted a funny interview with the web slinger. I have a special place in my fantastical daydreaming heart for a hero who makes sly quips, is played wonderfully by Tobey Maguire and who doesn't mind breaking the 4th wall across any media platform.

The tip from Popwatch highlights the best question/answer:
What’s the future of New York? What are your hopes, and what needs to happen?
Spider-Man: We definitely need to curb our dependence on incredibly dangerous science experiments taking place right in the middle of the city near raving crackpots who hate me. That’s where I’d start.

He should just be happy that the Large Hadron Collider is 1 - broken and 2 - not in New York City. Because that totally sounds like a supervillian tool to me.

Good night, Yankee Stadium

2008-09-22T23:03:00.005-04:00

The hearts and souls of millions

of sports fans live within these walls.

I know I'm spoiled because I am a Yankees fan.

I went to games as a young kid, but didn't really come around to baseball until 1994. My family was on our annual Cape Cod vacation and my Dad was cursing at the evening news. All I really knew was that the Yankees were in first place, the baseball season was maybe going to be canceled by a strike, and that Don Mattingly (my favorite Yankee, of course) was probably going to retire. The strike did in fact wipe out the season and I remember caring. When Mattingly decided to play more one year for Buck Showalter I decided it was time to start paying attention to the games. I became a baseball fan for sure on October 8, 1995 when Edgar Martinez crushed the Yankees with a walkoff 2-run double in the 11th inning of Game 5. I was so devastated by that game. "Wait til next season," I told myself.

And so it's grown from there. I've been to what feels like 100 games, including 7 playoff games, 2 World Series games, 1 Home Run Derby, and the list goes on. My blood runs pinstripe blue and I've tried to uphold the true Yankee fandom as much as possible. I hated Tino Martinez for the first 6 and a half months of the 1996 season for replacing Don Mattingly. (I warmed up to him during the playoffs.) I still dislike Jason Giambi for replacing my Tino. It's weird to me to look on the field and not see Scott Brosius, Paul O'Neill, Bernie Williams...I even miss Chuck Knoblauch. I screamed when the Yankees won their first World Series during my lifetime, and their second; I was there for the third; and I chanted the lineup with the bleacher creatures in 2000.

But I am most thankful to have had the Yankees in 2001. Grasping like so many others for anything that was normal, baseball was such a welcome relief. I'd thought the idea of the ghosts in Yankee Stadium was kind of silly until that year. My hair stood on end during every game even from 2000 miles away in Colorado. And in Game 5, when the entire stadium chanted Paul O'Neill's name I chanted along.

It is those memories that make me sad to see Yankee Stadium go. But times they have changed. The Yankees of late haven't really impressed me much and there are many players on the team now that I am simply tolerant of. The teams since 2001 don't make my spine tingle the way the teams in the 1990s did. It's not the the lack of a World Series title that bothers me; I'm a bit more relaxed than that. It's the players we've brought in lately who just don't quite feel right to me. If a new Yankee Stadium means a fresh start then I say bring it on. I am of the humble opinion that the ghosts of Ruth, Mantle, DiMaggio and the others long ago vacated this stadium for other planes. Watching the pre-game ceremony on Sunday night was fitting closure I thought. And Derek Jeter summed it up well -- time to move over to the new stadium and make some new memories.

The new Yankee Stadium,
soon to be the only one.

Maybe I'd feel more nostalgic if they weren't meticulously breaking down each piece and putting it up for auction or selling it. The sports memoribilia dealers have it wrong -- it's not the pieces of the building that I care about. It's the whole thing, the aura, the feeling you get walking towards your seat or when the crowd roars. Try packaging and selling that. You can't. I've made peace with the stadium coming down (the field, at least as of now, will remain). And if the ghosts ever want to make a return visit to the stadium, they won't have to look very far. On to the new Yankee Stadium, where new legends will be made.

Metapost: Renovating.

2008-09-22T00:48:00.003-04:00

I'm playing around with my blog design a bit...I might even make a custom template eventually...someday...right...anyway. In the meantime elements may not display correctly. Apologies for the messiness; it will be cleaned up soon.

Hair modeling is a great excuse for a new style

2008-09-21T09:32:00.005-04:00

New York City is famous for its many salons and hair shops. It's infamous for how expensive some of them are. It would be nice to have the kind of disposable income where I could put $400 towards a haircut. In the meantime I search out ways to get amazing cuts at a steep discounts. My latest hair adventure involved being a haircut model.

Lately I've been unhappy with my hair. I was growing it out and it was taking forever. It was growing in with a weird wave and I was developing an annoying cowlick in my bangs and on the side. I would leave the apartment with perfectly straight hair (my latest style of choice) and 10 minutes later it would be wavy and messy again. I love having longer hair but this was getting out of control. A couple of months ago I saw Maggie Gyllenhaal on the cover of Marie Claire with a fantastic short cut. She and I have the same pale complexion and dark hair, and while our face shapes are different I was confident I could pull the style off as well. A couple of weeks later I saw her on the cover of Interview with the same cut and it convinced me that should be my new hairstyle.

Side swept bangs, short messy cut?
I'm in.

I called the Aveda School to schedule a cut but the earliest weekend appointment was October 25th. But this impulsive need for a cut would not be satiated. My office shares a floor with an upscale hair salon called Butterfly Studio. I've gone their for blowouts before (they nicely offer a building discount) but never cuts because they start at $100 which is, oh, about $80 more than a cut at Aveda. Professionals vs. students though, so it depends on what you want. Occasionally a stylist from Butterfly would come over to our office looking for hair models for cut or color classes. So I went over and asked if they had any cut classes coming up. The receptionist wasn't very nice. She told me to write down my name and phone number. I would not be surprised if she tossed it as I walked out.

Well, lo and behold, not even 2 hours later a stylist comes over looking for a haircut model. Count me in! I ran over to grab the spot. In contrast to the receptionist, the stylist was very nice. She examined my hair as we discussed what I wanted to do. She was excited that I was ready for a big change and said she was looking for a client with fine-textured hair like mine. I was told to come back at 5:45 for the 6 PM class.

I excitedly went back to work and printed out some pictures of the cut. I don't watch "Mad Men" but I've enjoyed the cultural results -- clothing made for curves, bolder makeup and defiant haircuts. The show takes place in the 1960s but the fashion world has reached back even further into styles from the 1940s. It was a conservative time and yet the modern twists are sexy and fun. The styles haven't fully made it off the runway yet but I'm looking forward to wearing my fall and winter clothes for once.

Another variation of the cut.

My office mate also decided to take part in the class as a color student. We checked in and were told there was a $25 fee for the cut and a $35 fee for color. Oops, I definitely did not have cash on me. Luckily since I worked in the building they agreed to let me pay the next day. We put on robes and flipped through magazines while we waited.

The class started late (they always do) but I didn't mind. Though it was a class, none of the stylists were in training per se. The salon owner requires her stylists to take 2 classes a month so they keep up to date on the latest styles and techniques. I think this is such a great idea. It's a win-win: I get a fantastic, professional cut for 1/4 of the normal price and a hairstylist gets to experiment with new techniques in a safe environment. Once again the stylist K and I went over what I wanted. I had printed out two photos of the cut and we talked about the thickness of my hair vs. Ms. Gyllenhaal's and what that would mean for my cut. Since I have fine hair it would have less volume, though with good styling I could repeat the effect. The teacher came over to sign off on my desired style and then we headed to shampoo.

I knew from Aveda that you have to be patient in classes because they take a long time. A cut and style take at least 2 hours. I thought I would be nervous -- I was cutting off over 5 inches of hair after all -- but K really inspired confidence in me. I felt my hair falling and could not wait to see the end effect. The teacher came around often to check in. It was cool to hear the stylist talking about angles and boxes and shape. Her concern about the process and end result were refreshing.

A version of the cut on fine hair.

As my hair was being styled K taught me how to get the cowlick out of my bangs. I also wanted to re-train my part a bit further to one side and she gave me tips on how to do it. She dried my hair straight so I could see the slick version of the cut. Perfect for a nite out on the town. I was so happy with the end result. My co-worker was still getting her color put in so I said my goodbyes and left very satisfied with my new cut.

The next day when I washed and dried my hair I was even happier with the curly version. The sides tightened into my natural spirals like the redhead in the photo above. Then over the next couple of days I didn't wash my hair and it loosened into a style more like Gyllenhaal's. I love it. All it took was an impulsive decision, a bit of luck, and some patience during the class.

Death by squirt gun

2008-09-18T21:32:00.002-04:00

My friend F was carrying around a squirt gun for a couple of weeks. Not like one of those Super Soakers that I feared as a kid. The plastic, see-through, non-threatening kind that you played Wild West with. It's been in his jeans pocket the last two or three times we've hung out. Ok, whatever, people in NYC wear really weird accessories. Instead of packing heat he was packing H20...or something. But was weird was how possessive he was about it. Another friend asked to see it and F got really protective: "Oh no man. I need to have this thing on me at all times."

Then things got a bit weirder -- F wouldn't leave his apartment except to go to work. No hanging out. We wondered if he had a bad haircut, or if he was waiting for Time Warner to show up and install cable (buh-dum-chik!) or what. Friend P joked that maybe he'd lost his squirt gun and was mourning it. Whatever the issue was F seemed to emerge from it this week. We met up with him for drinks after work and he was back to his normal self. And sans squirt gun. He and I shared a taxi home and I had to know what the deal was. What was with the squirt gun, I asked. Oh yeah, he replied sheepishly, I was playing Street Wars.

The game works like this: people sign up to play and are sent the rules. Then they have to send certain information (the address of two places where they spend at least 2 hours a day, a photo, etc.) to the coordinators. Each player is then sent their "hit," a person they have to squirt to "kill." Certain places are off-limits for kills, like the subway. If you are killed, you're out and your assassin inherits your hit and vice versa. The last person left standing is declared the winner.

F has played the last two Street Wars in NYC. It sounds fun but really intense. He altered his route to the subway every day to evade his assassin and ordered in lunch every day. He worked late a lot and came to work early. And the weekends? Spent indoors as much as possible. To stalk his hit he woke up really early and staked out her apartment building. Personally, this would freak me out. But F said almost everyone he's played with has been really good-natured about the whole thing, laughing when they get killed and so on. F didn't make it too far -- he carried out one hit but was killed soon after.

"Did you run away when your assassin came after you?" I asked.
"Not really," F said. "I knew I was screwed -- he came running up as I was walking to work. I was cornered."
"It was a drive-by squirting!"
"Yeah, and he had this ridiculous pimped out super soaker-type thing."
"Pimped out?"
"It was gold."
"He had a gold super soaker??"
"Double-barreled too."
"He had a double-barreled gold pimped out super soaker? Sooo...one was a shotgun and one was a sniper soaker?" (Man, I have been playing way too many first-person shooter videogames lately.)
"Right. Long and short range. I was totally overmatched."

I didn't even know how to respond to that. F after all had a purple squirt gun that probably cost $4 at a drug store. He must have known I was thinking this, because he said, "You know, my gun may not look like much, but it was like the glock of squirt guns. Next year I'm going to pimp out my gun with a water balloon launcher."

The moving itch is coming back

2008-09-16T19:55:00.004-04:00

Each year, BFF M and I christen it "The Year of x." 2007 was the year of boat. 2006 was the year of love. 2008 is the year of key. For me, this optimistically meant the year that I moved to a place on Gramercy Park and got a key to the ridiculously exclusive park. That probably won't happen but I may get a new key yet. The moving itch is coming back.

Since 2000, I have lived in 10 places. Granted college was responsible for 5 of those moves but that is still a lot! Each time I move I tell myself "Roxy, you need to stay here for at least a couple of years. Fuck this moving every year shit." And every year I seem to end up moving. Sometimes the move is driven by money. I had to give up my first apartment in Norwalk because I couldn't afford it anymore when I condensed from two jobs to one. It was so hard because I loved the place -- a 1 BR railroad-style within walking distance of both Veterans Park and Metro North, with a dishwasher and laundry. I still think about that place and how well it was decorated it at least once a week.

But usually the move is driven by proximity to work. I moved in Norwalk the second time to be closer to the train station. I moved into the city to cut my commute by an hour. And now I've got a new work destination that is kind of far.

This will more or less be my new commute.

That's right, I got a new job. It all happened so fast that I feel like it's been one long daydream. While I love the people at my current company it was time for me to move on (and more importantly, up). I'm really sad to be leaving behind the Flatiron area and 5th Ave shopping in the 20s and teens. But then I'm not so sad because my new work is in SoHo. Near even more shopping...and even more expensive shopping. The only truly lame part is that my new office is closest to the A/C/E line and I don't live anywhere near that line. My options are to take the 6 to Spring Street and walk a bunch of blocks; take the N/R/W to Prince St and walk a bunch of blocks; transfer to the L at Union Square and then take the E at 8th Ave; or transfer to the E at 51st St and be squished by all the Penn Station commuters. It's a no-win situation.

That leaves one other option: moving. My new job has a better salary than I currently make so I could potentially trade up a little bit from my mostly-lovable teeny studio to something a bit less teeny. And as I type this post I am swarmed by both my loud neighbor talking on her phone and my upstairs neighbor's menagerie chewing on a rawhide on the floor while something else chases the loudest rolly toy ever. And, oh, to get away from the mice in my apartment!!!

Ideally I'd want to move to SoHo right on the Tribeca border. That area is pretty damn expensive though, and also loud at night. It would be quite the culture shock after my quiet Upper East Side neighborhood. I'm also just getting to know my neighborhood -- where to get my laundry done, what deli to eat at, the good dinner places, etc. Then again, the reason why it's taken this long is because none of my friends live up in "family zone" and it's a long ride for them to come up here. I remember having this same complaint in Norwalk too. Maybe my friends just don't travel very far.

I've spent the last few days browsing the apts by owner listings on Craigslist. With a slightly higher price range than last time I did my search I've yielded some tempting results. I'm considering a few of them. Why not, right? No broker's fee, closer to new work, new exciting neighborhood. I'm young and not married. This is when I'm supposed to be adventuring.